I will cut my coat according to my cloth. {Edited by Forum team} 2019

vandanfc

Enjoy your day of peace and hopefully battery restocking. x

just_trying

NeilCr wrote: »

I doubt many of us could say for certain how they would act if they were actually in this situation. For sure, I, like many others, am far better at dealing with and advising on others problems than I am with my own issues

However, I have, as I say, some insight as my partner has her granddaughter living with her permanently. Her son is there, too, but he works long hours and my partner basically does the parenting. He is pretty good (he needs some pointing in the right direction) so she gets time out and support. I am certain that if she was asked to take on another two (particularly of the age of Mooloo's grandsons) she would say no - and the extra issue of the "flakiness" of the son would cement this decision. And, seeing the effect on her I would say the same thing

In terms of tiredness - from one who knows because of my age! The older you get the faster you get tired - and the longer it takes to recover. Not sure the comparison to younger parents is a fair one.

I hope this works out. I really do. But, at the moment the loudest sound I hear is of a can getting kicked further down the road

Well if I was in the same situation I would do as mooloo is doing, try and provide the best I could a stable loving home.

Yes young parents get exhausted and tired getting up in the night, from going to your bed and waking up when you want to suddenly having to get up during the night and give a feed/bottle is exhausting.

It may take longer to recover, I've heard that about exercise but also when some get to a certain age they seem to need less sleep sometimes.

This isn't criticism but I don't believe you've got children and it's only my opinion but I feel you almost hold a grudge that your partner has taken on the responsibility of her grandchild. And she can't do as she wants like other parents/carers in the same situation.

Mooloo, glad you had a good rest and hopefully everyone will be tired when they go to bed. You seem a lot happier today in your post. Things are moving forward.

Maybe ds could try and take them out after dinner before there bath every evening to try and tire them out as well as playing in the garden. If they go to the park they get to meet other kids.

Have a nice evening xx.

BrassicWoman

just_trying wrote: »

This isn't criticism but I don't believe you've got children and it's only my opinion but I feel you almost hold a grudge that your partner has taken on the responsibility of her grandchild.

My opinion is that NeilCr has been really open and honest about what he observes, in order to give Mooloo a valuable perspective the rest of us don't have. And he seems to take his partner as she is.

Why you are choosing to have a pop at him I could not say.

just_trying

BrassicWoman wrote: »

My opinion is that NeilCr has been really open and honest about what he observes, in order to give Mooloo a valuable perspective the rest of us don't have. And he seems to take his partner as she is.

Why you are choosing to have a pop at him I could not say.

A pop, I call it a opinion based on what he has said. He's said his opinion on what I've said more than once, so I've given my response and opinion as has he.

My opinion stands like it or not.

Savvy_sewing

Funny how we all interpret the written word in different ways.

That was one of my biggest problems with my exBF over the years, we didn't talk much we texted and both would take things differently. That's why we humans use tone of voice, which cannot be read necessary with out stage directions.
I spent the morning slowly pottering, had a bath, nearly fell back to sleep so went back to bed for a while. Then did a few hours sewing before the family came back.
Both boys went to bed without much issue. Fingers crossed for another good night with them.
Tomorrow is one of my other grandsons birthday party so we will be out in the afternoon.
I have an awful cough, and sore throat so much so that when I cough my chest hurts and I have lost my voice. Better now than next week when we go away.

Yes I feel calmer and happier today, and it was good to see the children happy and not screaming at everything.
Let's hope that they are settling down here now and obviously calmer since Daddy is back.
Even Dgd has joined in and this evening we watched the greatest showman with popcorn and the lights off.
Long may it continue. (Just not my cough!!)

beanielou

Long may it contine indeed
Hope the cough goes away soon.
Hope you get lots of sleep.

just_trying

Glad you've had a good day, you seem happy. Smiling reading your post.

Hope the cough goes!

Take care Xx.

thorsoak

Sounds like a good day for everyone, Mooloo. Sorry to read about your cough - it sounds like the stress has got to you and it's telling that you have lost your voice! Just take it as easy as you can - honey and lemon will be good for your cough and your poor throat.

Maybe the shock of the actions of the social worker at the beginning of the week will be enough to shock DS into re-thinking his whole attitude to life, his responsibilities and putting the needs of them - and you - before his own wants. Let's hope so.

Enjoy tomorrow x

NeilCr

just_trying wrote: »

A pop, I call it a opinion based on what he has said. He's said his opinion on what I've said more than once, so I've given my response and opinion as has he.

My opinion stands like it or not.

My partner is a strong, independent person who has made her own choice to look after her grandchild. I do not resent it in any way. Our relationship is much stronger than that. She has been absolutely amazing for me and I hope that I have done my part in bringing fun, enjoyment and laughter to her

We understand the situation and work round it by planning ahead and, being grown up, recognising that each of us ends up, on occasions, without the other one "in tow" when it would be nice to be there as a couple or doing something else. Our relationship is predicated, and always has been (pre grandchild), on seeing each other once or twice a week and we now juggle our diaries and commitments to make sure we do that. Rather nice actually as it's dating which is fun at our age and ensures the relationship is fresh

But, I do see the burden on her and posted, with some trepidation, on this thread to give an insight into what it can be like for someone later in years looking after a young child. I hoped it might help Mooloo - if she feels it isn't helpful then I am more than willing to stop.

I notice that you say 'if I was in this situation'. I, actually, am extremely close to someone who is. Maybe that experience is more telling than a hypothetical opinion.

just_trying

Maybe it is, I'm giving my opinion as you but you seem to pick on bits.

You replied to my response to someone else not to you, but you have replied to my response to you before.

You don't have children I believe, I stick to you do hold a grudge on your previous responses, dress it up like you like. We all have problems in life, well most of us do. I've said something here before which didn't go down well and I stick by it.

It's only data ago everyone was saying well done, well she's still looking after the boys and giving them a lOving home, people think care is brilliant, well it's not.

My opinion is as valid as yours. As for hypothetical, you don't know my life or what's happened.