I will cut my coat according to my cloth. {Edited by Forum team} 2019

NeilCr

I agree with your son not going away for the weekend

I suspect he, like my partner's son, is pretty good and experienced at getting round you. I tend to think my partner's son gets away with too much but that is their relationship and not for me to interfere. Having said that her line in the sand is much deeper than yours and she makes sure that he does his share. In this situation he would not be going Larpng. And he is pretty good most of the time

Frankly, this is an unholy mess and, IMHO, needs a completely fresh start. Not this staggering from crisis to crisis. I, rather, fear that we will all be having these conversations on MSE in 5 and 10 years time.

Artytarty

How very disappointing.
Your family have a track record of letting you down and yet you allow them to continue, now affecting the whole family unit. Don't be fooled into thinking it will be alright from now on, nor that big girl knickers are actually any bloomin' use.
I thought you had seen the light and recognised that the boys deserve better than this.
Please stop clinging on and stick with the kindest , most loving decision you made earlier in the week.

thorsoak

larping? Your son is going to spend the weekend larping?

BrassicWoman

LARPing is a totally optional leisure activity and if he goes he'll be the most selfish twonk I have ever heard of.

Mooloo - him being there is not going to help you. He's showing you that right now.

You need enough cash to not have to work, or you cannot do this. Because you are on your own.

jaydeejay

Contrary to others I support your decision to try and try and try again. Only you will know when you have eventually exhausted possibilities. It will be hard, and you know that as you are living it. Things will calm down eventually, you just need to be able to get through it until all the pieces fall into place or not.

I salute you Mooloo for your tenacity and sheer grit with all the sh!! coming your way.
JDJ

kelpie35

Please Mooloo do not go back on the decision you made earlier in the week.

I am sorry to say this, but if your DS had any respect for you or the rest of the family he would be by your side 24/7 helping out in any way possible, not going off larping.

This just proves he is not at all interested in how his children are copig, how you are coping or the rest of the family. Also how can he afford this excursion when you have had to give work a miss and probably lost hundreds of pounds looking after his children.

Sorry to be so harsh mooloo but you need to call time on all this. Tell SS they need to find a placement for the children immediately, you are not being made a fool of any longer.

Please take care of DGD, your Mum and especially yourself.

KatrinaWaves

jaydeejay wrote: »

Contrary to others I support your decision to try and try and try again. Only you will know when you have eventually exhausted possibilities. It will be hard, and you know that as you are living it. Things will calm down eventually, you just need to be able to get through it until all the pieces fall into place or not.

I salute you Mooloo for your tenacity and sheer grit with all the sh!! coming your way.
JDJ

What is tenacious about showing her son, his children and her grandaughter that walking all over someone is an acceptable life path?

He has been living in a hotel away from his children for however long, and the first opportunity he gets to come see his children he goes to run around dressed up in a field with his mates instead.

Mooloo has cancelled her plans to sort out the children, yet her son doesnt and its fine, its prearranged. he's coming back, how jolly it will all be.

The children are suffering. Mooloo is suffering. But son can go LARPing, so its all good. He has no money but can afford to LARP? It aint free.

trix-a-belle

Mooloo I agree with everyone above, this is the opportunity for DS to step up! you didn't say what his reaction was when you told him you couldn't do it but suspected he would be disappointed, whether he was or wasn't these are his kids and this is his opportunity to be present in their lives and influence them, what on earth does it say if he chooses a weekend to go off and play games (a weekend which could be a further nail in the coffin in your decision about whether you can realistically do this given your levels of exhaustion) rather than spend time with them and support you in their care.

I also don't agree with him 'living' in your cabin, that is for your business and has a loan attached to it, you need that space to earn to top up the woeful offer of support from SS and pay back said loan.

*hugs* & restful energy being sent
If you can get a couple of minutes please throw an email at SS confirming everything that was said yesterday which rebukes their previous outrageous kneejerk decisions just so its all in writing x

Both_Feet_on_Terra_Firma

I am dismayed that you have changed your mind yet again and i fear like others that this is a situation that will just be a life for all of you swinging from crisis to crisis and you think that is the life that all of you deserve? Your son is a disgrace no money to stay anywhere or pay his debts but enough to go away for the weekend and to be still buying his drugs and living the life of a single guy while his niece a child herself is watching his children as you are having to work to pay for his lifestyle welcome him back but don't complain when he carries on behaving like this YOU have allowed it as others have said I sincerely hope that none of the children feel like this is an acceptable way to live.

gizmo111

Some of these responses are pretty harsh!

Having had a private conversation with Mooloo last night, I support her interim decision to keep the children with her.

There will need to be changes, rules and boundaries and a clear robust support plan in place if this is to become a final long term plan for the children, and that will pan out over the next few months with the assistance of the court who will determine the future of these children.

In the meantime I wish her well coping in a very complex emotional situation and will offer whatever support I can to help her through this.