I will cut my coat according to my cloth. {Edited by Forum team} 2019

beanielou

Eager_Elephant wrote: »

I'm fully in support of your decision Mooloo - what family member wouldn't try and keep the family together?

Through my work I meet many families who are separated due to Social Services involvement (always justified IMHO) and the majority have gone to family, its so much nicer for the children if they can stay with blood relatives.

I hope that DS will be allowed to live with you still or be able to get a place nearby as I think if he can get his life back on track he will be a huge asset to bringing up the boys.

Sending love and hugs to you all

So so agree with this:A

supermezzo

Can social services be at the handover for the kids, or possibly even a PCSO?

As you describe her behaviour, Mooloo, the ex sounds very like my own Father, who was entirely capable of controlling his temper and violent attacks when others were present (he then stored the annoyance and we got it twice as badly when the opportunity presented itself).

Surely the social or the police are obliged do something to protect the kids from seeing it.

mrmechanic

It is very hard to say what is going to be best for the kids, but I think you are taking on a very big obligation Mooloo.I know you are trying hard to keep your family together, but surely there has to be a time when you don't have to keep picking up the slack for your family while they continue to do as they please.
No having a go, just pointing out that things really need to be well thought out before you sacrifice the plans you had laid out.
Also thinking about the workshop you are waiting to get delivery of. I am sure you said that you had taken out a loan and it would be 5 years to clear it.
You have just managed to clear of all your debts,how will you be able to service your loan over the next 5 years if you are not going to be working and looking after the kids?.
5 years is a long time to try and meet monthly payments on a loan when you will not be working.
Even if you manage to squeeze in a few hours of work a week on top of looking after the kids to service the loan, it is 5 years of work with no income only to pay for a workshop when I am sure that money will be missed on other more important things.
Really not having a go, its your life at the end of the day and its entirely up to you how you choose to live it, but serious thought needs to be put into this from your side and what is best for the kids long term.
Best of luck whatever you decide.

Savvy_sewing

Nothing but thoughts been going on.
The workshop is going ahead as I will still be sewing once it's sorted and by January I will be working when the baby is 2 and in Nursery. The lad starts school in September.
DS is going to be about and I will be expecting him to get more work.
It is a concern that the loan is for 5 years and that I will need to meet it, but I will be getting my deposit from the shop back and that will go towards the bills etc while I am on reduced hours.
The business account will enough to cover 3 months payments, so I am fairly confident that I will budget accordingly.

For the children I will do my best, we will have close contact with their cousins and I will make sure that they have a happy life if I possibly can.

I believe there was a pLO meeting today, I don't go to those. They were seen separately. DS was told of the Socials plans and he has agreed to it, but I don't know what her reaction is going to be.
Time will tell, and no doubt she will fight it but it will be down to the court.

We can only do our best in life the Blueprint can change and it is not set in stone and they are all unique. I would not wish my life on anyone else, but I love my family (even when I feel I hate them!) and I cannot give up on them.

Now I had a great evening at Dgds school play and she raised a few laughs as the magic carpet.
I have had a word with the head teacher and I am going to see her soon and see about moving the lad there in September.

Time for bed

beanielou

I used to say to my DS I may not always like him but I would always love him.
I salute you for trying to do your very best in incredibly difficult situations.

Savvy_sewing

Nursery application in for next year.
School talked to and told me how to apply for late application and to follow up with a email.

Savvy_sewing

I am alive.
Just nothing to say as no news.
Good day in shop, left at two to taken to hairdresser. Got stuck in traffic for 40 minutes going back to collect her.
Brought work home but no room to do it as all DS's stuff was in the way so I plan to go to work at 7 o'clock tomorrow.
I better try to sleep

pollyanna_26

Being alive is good :rotfl:I Hope the early start will help you catch up at work . It's my birthday today and my youngest dd bought me three lovely gifts from the Literary Emporium (She knows me so well) A lovely bracelet with a silver book charm, a very pretty brooch with Still I Rise which I will wear with attitude and a card with the quote I have tonight made my signature on MSE. She has written the loveliest words from the heart on the reverse which make all the efforts over the last 20 odd years worth every tear, fear and effort worthwhile. My hope is one day someone you love will do that for you.


Sleep tight Mooloo
pollyx

Savvy_sewing

pollyanna_26 wrote: »

Being alive is good :rotfl:I Hope the early start will help you catch up at work . It's my birthday today and my youngest dd bought me three lovely gifts from the Literary Emporium (She knows me so well) A lovely bracelet with a silver book charm, a very pretty brooch with Still I Rise which I will wear with attitude and a card with the quote I have tonight made my signature on MSE. She has written the loveliest words from the heart on the reverse which make all the efforts over the last 20 odd years worth every tear, fear and effort worthwhile. My hope is one day someone you love will do that for you.


Sleep tight Mooloo
pollyx

That's lovely x Happy Birthday xx

I am up. But not quite out the door.
I forgot the concrete is coming today and I am not sure if I should be here at the start.
I will decide when I am in the shower, I was thinking that I could prepare the various jobs at the kitchen table and then finish at work.

hb2

Belated 'Happy Birthday' wishes to Pollyanna. That is a lovely quote I meant to say previously that we also call owls 'wols' thanks to Winnie the Pooh.

Mooloo, I hope you manage some down-time over the weekend.