I will cut my coat according to my cloth. {Edited by Forum team} 2019

Babe1

What a day you had yesterday Mooloo!

My life is pretty challenging, although not on your scale but I learnt a long time ago from some therapy, that I was "good enough". That's all you can do is your best, and you do that over and over Molloo.

I know for me I worry about your health - that you don't get enough time for yourself. As a carer, I know how important that is - please, can you make sure that respite can be built into this care package? If the Council are going to give a financial package, than respite must be included.

Our Son has Autism/learning disability, and he has so many weeks a year built into his care package. I know it will differ from Council to Council, but please do ask.

All of us have our own thoughts on your situation - but I am sure anyone that reads your thread, cannot help but be supporting and thinking of you.

Maybe with these changes happening at home, CAMHS will also be offered to DGD some time soon - let's hope as so. X

Almost-free

You’re so stubborn and convinced you are right Mooloo.

The save social workers that we have all been agreeing here are useless, haven’t a clue- are now apparently 100% correct that the only/best solution to this latest problem is once again Mooloo ?

I think this old saying is applicable here :

If you want different results, do not do the same things.

Albert Einstein

hb2

Mooloo, I am also sad that your hopes and dreams have been overturned again. I only managed to have 1 child and don't have any grandchildren, I can't imagine looking after 1 child these days let alone 3 (although I think I am older than you) so I don't know what I would do in your situation.

It is clear that you love your family very much and will do whatever you can for them, at whatever cost to yourself. I just hope the cost isn't too great in the long run.

Molly41

You can do it Moo you are a strong woman. Love to you and dGD xxxx

dreaming

Although I initially suggested that Mooloo hold off from talking to DGD (or anyone else in the family) it was only meant to give her some time to settle her own mind without other people's input. That was however based on how my own experiences as I found I ended up trying to "fix it" for everyone else and didn't always listen to myself. I always knew that she would have to speak to DGD as it directly affects her, and I'm sure Mooloo will be keeping any eye on her. Anyway, what's done is done now and although it might not be "ideal" nothing in life is.
So Mooloo,for what it's worth, and despite having the same concerns as others have posted, I'm pretty sure I would do the same thing in your shoes. As you say, you now have to concentrate on staying as healthy as you can (mentally as well as physically), and organising your home and business to cope.
I wish you all well.

Savvy_sewing

Almost-free wrote: »

You’re so stubborn and convinced you are right Mooloo.

The save social workers that we have all been agreeing here are useless, haven’t a clue- are now apparently 100% correct that the only/best solution to this latest problem is once again Mooloo ?

I think this old saying is applicable here :

If you want different results, do not do the same things.

Albert Einstein

Actually no I am not convinced I am right.
I am as insecure as the next person
I have not taken anything for granted here and I am well aware that I am not the perfect choice.
I am not doing the same thing again. So your comments are only your opinion.

Walk a mile in my shoes and you will see nothing is black or white.

Savvy_sewing

Molly41 wrote: »

You can do it Moo you are a strong woman. Love to you and dGD xxxx

Thankyou Molly, you at least know me in real life, so your comments mean the most xx

Pondskater

Mooloo, I read your diary every single day. I really admire your determination to hold your family together, whatever it takes and wish you the strength and health to carry on. Don't, whatever you do forget how violent DS Ex has shown she is capable of being, keep as far away from her as you possibly can. Good Luck.

Babe1

After the exgf's attack on DS yesterday, would the children be able to be handed over to her through a contact centre, from now on?

Your son should not have to run a gauntlet with her, each time the children stay with her.

Savvy_sewing

Babe1 wrote: »

After the exgf's attack on DS yesterday, would the children be able to be handed over to her through a contact centre, from now on?

Your son should not have to run a gauntlet with her, each time the children stay with her.

I emailed the social services boss yesterday to tell him she attacked him.
The police have attended so I hope something can be done and as you say contact in a contact centre.
If she doesn't get arrested for assault.

I am awaiting further information from social.
I don't know what exactly is next but I think that If Biggest has collected her children on Sunday from me I will suggest that I go with him to collect them, so he will have a Witness if she does start and if I can I would video it or voice record if I have to.

WHen I get to court I will ask them if it is not already in the care plan as I do not want to run the gauntlet every time she has access and I don't want her or her family in my home as they are too volatile.

I don't think she's going to be happy to find out that she is not going to be the main carer, and that she will not be entitled to any of the child benefits etc and she will have to look for work and will be charged the extra bedroom tax on her house.

That's going to go down like a lead balloon