Opinions about working kids paying Housekeeping needed!

tracyold

you all forgot to mention the biggest price we have STRESS

PasturesNew

Jacks_xxx wrote: »

he earns £1000 a month now

Blimey. That's quite a lot at ANY age.
He does need to have some of that taken off him .... for his own safety

LouBlue

Jacks_xxx wrote: »

And Hubby backed me up - even if he didn't really want to do it.

Glad hubby is on side...eventually. :rotfl: And the list is brilliant! :T Which reminded me of a song, back in 1976. Here are the lyrics for all those mums out there with the same problem...........;)

http://homepage.ntlworld.com/gary.hart/lyricsb/barrie.html

Jacks_xxx

LouBlue wrote: »

Glad hubby is on side...eventually. :rotfl: And the list is brilliant! :T Which reminded me of a song, back in 1976. Here are the lyrics for all those mums out there with the same problem...........;)

http://homepage.ntlworld.com/gary.hart/lyricsb/barrie.html

Love the song Loublue! :T

Love Jacks xxx

Jacks_xxx

rog2 wrote: »

Funny how life never turns out as you would like - my eldest son still lives at home - whilst he does contribute to things like the phone bill (he is by far the largest user) he doggedly refuses to make a regular contribution to the housekeeping as he is 'saving for a deposit on a mortgage' - he's now 32 years old and has been saying this for the last 6 years.

So YES they SHOULD contribute, but the problem is How do we make them contribute?

Hey Rog,

It's a tough one huh?

I don't know why it feels a bit "wrong" to ask them to contribute?

Especially when we're having a tough time financially...

I remember my Mum never managed to get my youngest brother to pay for anything and he lived "at home" well into his twenties.

Most of the time he just flat-out refused, now and again they'd have a talk, and she'd get upset, and so he'd agree that he should pay something but he never ever ever did. :mad:

When he was about 26 she lost her rag, and although she's not the type to make a fuss about anything ever she decided to take a stand.

She stopped doing his laundry, stopped shopping for his favourite snacky foods, stopped serving meals he liked at times to suit his timetable and all the rest of it and after a couple of weeks of tantrums and door slamming he moved out! (Bonus! )

So she never did get any money out of him - but she gained a sewing room and a bit of peace and quiet.

And the guys he ended up sharing with became his new best mates, introduced him to his now wife and were joint best men at the wedding. :beer:

So it all worked out for the best. :dance:

Bloody kids eh?

Love Jacks xxx

Jacks_xxx

PasturesNew wrote: »

Blimey. That's quite a lot at ANY age.
He does need to have some of that taken off him .... for his own safety

:wave: Absolutely PasturesNew. I couldn't agree more.

It'd be bad for him to get used to having all that cash to spend every month when he's bound to start having bills to pay at some point.

Having been a complete @r$e about paying any keep - now that's been resolved he seems to have got his sensible head back on again thank goodness.

He's started a savings account - and a standing order to fill it up with.

He's taken pics of one of his guitars so that I can sell it on eBay as it's a beginners one that he's hardly used and it might sell in the run up to Christmas.

Plus... He's done all his Christmas shopping!

He said he wanted to get that done out of his "Spends" this month as he's hoping to have enough money to buy a car when/if he passes his driving test in January and he'll need to save up a big chunk from his next two paypackets to do it.

He's looking at cars about the £600 mark bless him, but then it's £1200 for insurance probably.

Oh well, there has to be some disadvantage to being young! :rotfl:

Cheers honey,

Love Jacks xxx

Jacks_xxx

tracyold wrote: »

you all forgot to mention the biggest price we have STRESS

Oh yeah. Definitely.

I should have put that on my list!

Bless em!

Love Jacks xxx

rog2

Jacks_xxx wrote: »

Hey Rog,

It's a tough one huh?

I don't know why it feels a bit "wrong" to ask them to contribute?

Especially when we're having a tough time financially...

I remember my Mum never managed to get my youngest brother to pay for anything and he lived "at home" well into his twenties.
Bloody kids eh?

Love Jacks xxx

Hi Jacks - I don't know why but my post seems to have been misinterpreted by some - I actually agree strongly that, provided they can afford to, kids should contribute towards the housekeeping. We are also having a pretty tough time financially and have, for the last four years, been supporting our youngest daughter through university (In fact my wife is STILL supporting her by paying the deposit on her flat and assisting till she gets established in her new job).
Yes - my son does still enjoy all of the benefits of 'home life' without a regular contribution, as I have already stated, and we have had to 'rescue' our other daughter on several occasions. I appreciate that this 'support' (if that is the correct word) was not available to either me, or my wife, when we were younger, but, at the same time, it is a tough old world out there - as both you, me and most other posters know, and there is a certain element of trying to protect our children from exactly the kind of 'sh1te' that we have gone, and still are going, through.
I agree with those posters who cite 'tough love' as a justification for demanding a regular contribution and maybe we are too soft with our son. At the same time, however, we do not feel that any of our children should suffer, unjustly, for our mistakes, nor have we tried to influence their choices in life.
Both I and my wife are immensely proud of the achievements of our children - my son and my youngest daughter have good university degrees, and my eldest daughter has gained excellent business management qualifications through college.
Whilst not financial, the help that my eldest daughter has given me, in trying to sort out my current problems, has been, and continues to be, invaluable.
I don't think that I explained myself too well in my first post - we actually enjoy the fact that our son still lives with us - we know where he is, and he has never brought any trouble home - he is respectful to us and his friends enjoy coming around, probably because my wife will usually feed them with genuine Italian food and kindness.
We have, to be honest, never really discussed a regular contribution to the household expenses, with him, so I suppose I don't really have the right to complain when he doesn't contribute. However, I do agree with those who feel that their working kids should pay housekeeping and I apologise if my original post may have, unintentionally, implied otherwise.

As you say 'Bloody Kids' - we often can't do right for doing wrong.

maddriver

I lived with my parents until 2 years ago (moved out when I was 28). I paid a token amount to my parents (essentially when I stopped having lunch at Burger King everyday and mum made salad for me, I paid her what I used to pay BK)
Suddenly having to pay for things like Mortgage, food, heat light etc came as a big shock to me. i'd definately support the idea of charging working age children rent, proportionate to income.

Do like the idea of putting in savings for when they need to set up their own home.

LouBlue

maddriver wrote: »

Suddenly having to pay for things like Mortgage, food, heat light etc came as a big shock to me. i'd definately support the idea of charging working age children rent, proportionate to income.

Do like the idea of putting in savings for when they need to set up their own home.

You see parents? Take note.