Huge wedding problem :(

HampshireH

Your mate needs to grow a pair.

This is THEIR wedding not hers. He should have the balls to stand for what he feels is right. If that is that you as his best mate isnt put in this situation then he should have dug his heels in.

I'd find it quite offensive that your best mate is happy for everyone to have a plus 1 expect his best mate. Making you feel uncomfortable.

-taff

It's the brides day [and the groom obviously] but the bride decided she didn't want here there, which is fair enough even if the reasons are stupid. The brides groom would be a very silly person to argue about this with his intended wife, as someone else posted above, he should be supporting his OH not his best mate...


I would go to the wedding and see the vows done [if it's in a church there's no reason for your OH not to go, I doubt they'd have a space restriction unless it was a registry office - maybe ask the groom if that's ok if it IS a church] and then miss the afternoon reception etc and go to the evening with your OH - if you both want to.

That way, you support your mate, you support your OH....

calleyw

Really its just a wedding.


Think all of you need to grow up. I wont go because my partner was not invited. Sounds like the school play ground.


I went to a wedding a couple of months ago. It was my partners friend. I had meet the groom twice in two years and the bride once. If I had not been invited no skin off my nose. As I did not really know the couple and know how expensive a wedding is. And would have encouraged my partner to go on his own.


Its not about loyalty to your partner. Does she get upset every time you go out with the boys because she does not get invited. See how silly it sounds now about not being invited to a wedding which is one day out of your life. And wasting so much time and energy on being offended and upset.



The wedding is not about you and your partner, but the bride and groom. You can't change people only change your reaction to those people and their actions. The bride may well to your face make it seems she has forgiven your partner but maybe deep down she has not. Who knows.



Yours


Calley x

Pollycat

calleyw wrote: »

Really its just a wedding.


Think all of you need to grow up. I wont go because my partner was not invited. Sounds like the school play ground.


I went to a wedding a couple of months ago. It was my partners friend. I had meet the groom twice in two years and the bride once. If I had not been invited no skin off my nose. As I did not really know the couple and know how expensive a wedding is. And would have encouraged my partner to go on his own.


Its not about loyalty to your partner. Does she get upset every time you go out with the boys because she does not get invited. See how silly it sounds now about not being invited to a wedding which is one day out of your life. And wasting so much time and energy on being offended and upset.



The wedding is not about you and your partner, but the bride and groom. You can't change people only change your reaction to those people and their actions. The bride may well to your face make it seems she has forgiven your partner but maybe deep down she has not. Who knows.



Yours


Calley x

In fairness, your situation is different to that described by the OP.
His partner and the bride used to be best friends.
You would not have felt hurt by who was and who wasn't invited to the wedding.
I can see how the OP's partner does feel hurt by being left out and someone who has never met the bride & groom has been invited.
Maybe at the wedding you attended there was someone who felt left out because they hadn't been invited but you - who hardly knew either party - were invited.

Brighton_belle

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

Then he should understand when you put your partner first.

Works both ways thought doesn't it - the OP's partner can put him first and tell him with a smile he should definitely go and support his mate in recognition of the support the mate has given the person she loves.

jackieblack

calleyw wrote: »

Really its just a wedding.

Think all of you need to grow up. I wont go because my partner was not invited. Sounds like the school play ground.

Ok, I admit it, this is what I have been thinking too...

calleyw wrote: »

Its not about loyalty to your partner. Does she get upset every time you go out with the boys because she does not get invited. See how silly it sounds now about not being invited to a wedding which is one day out of your life. And wasting so much time and energy on being offended and upset.

I agree 100%

Tabbytabitha

Pollycat wrote: »

In fairness, your situation is different to that described by the OP.
His partner and the bride used to be best friends.
You would not have felt hurt by who was and who wasn't invited to the wedding.
I can see how the OP's partner does feel hurt by being left out and someone who has never met the bride & groom has been invited.
Maybe at the wedding you attended there was someone who felt left out because they hadn't been invited but you - who hardly knew either party - were invited.

I used to be "best friends" with someone until we had a major fallout earlier this year - I wouldn't dream of being invited to her place any more than I would dream of inviting her to mine. The person who used to be your best friend is the very last person you'd want to invite to your wedding and I can't understand why the OP's OH should expect it.

calleyw

Pollycat wrote: »

His partner and the bride used to be best friends.

Note the use to!!!! thats is a past tense.



Which means they are not now. No one should make assumptions about anything and in this situation massive assumptions have been made. Also if you read the rest of my reply you will see I said the Bride may well have to their faces pretended everything was ok. But it was not. Hence the not inviting.



Again a lot of fuss and emotions over something that on your death bed I don't think you will remember. As I said everyone needs to grow up and start acting like adults.


But again I will say this its the bride and grooms day not the Poster and his partners day. And they either want to be part of the day or not. Their choice.


Yours


Calley x

ecgirl07

If they only have 36 day guests then you, your partener and your kids would take up 4 spots. Maybe their compromise was day for 1 evening for 3?

People seem to get very het about weddings these days.

Out,_Vile_Jelly

The OP is invited to the ceremony in the context of being the groom's best mate.

OP's wife isn't invited due to an unfortunate fall-out with the bride, meaning she's now ranked lower than a random plus one for another guest.

I would look at it now as a friendship solely between OP and his mate; if you no longer socialise as couples and the women aren't friends, then I can't see why OP's wife would want to go anyway.

Yes it's a shame, but it would make the situation more messy if OP were to lose a friend over it, so he should go and be a supportive pal.