Huge wedding problem :(

getmore4less

He should have discussed this with you before the invites arrived.

If it is a count thing, from what you have said a stranger(brothers+1) trumped your +1

Even given their choice you should have had a day do invite only and been included in the evening do with the family.

You could make a point and both turn up to the wedding ceremony.
(not the best idea)

Kim_kim

Or both go to the evening only - as that’s your partners invite.

seven-day-weekend

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

I think that is a good compromise and shows you are supporting your partner at the same time.

Afterall, surely the most important part is the ceremony itself. and not the reception.

I was about to suggest this compromise myself.

NeilCr

I think you need to wait until your OH has settled down and got over the surprise. She may see things differently in the "cold light of day". I know my partner wouldn't want anything to cause a problem between me and my best mate.

Personally, I'd stick with what you have agreed to do. You to the wedding and the pair of you to the reception. I think your friend has been caught in the middle here. If you, at the last minute, change what you are doing it may cause him upset on the most important day of his life as he'll be pondering on it. And, you have told us just how much he has done for you.

I see both sides of this but I think there are times to make a point and times not to. As others have said (and this happened at my wedding) it can be difficult to squeeze numbers and your OH was aware of the problems between herself and the bride.

Poor_Single_lady

It's just a wedding. Your OH should surely come first ahead of people who treat her badly.
For me I couldn't consider going. To see her upset needlessly and I would be very cross to be put in that position- which you don't seem to be. I wouldn't go and I would forget about it.

It's their choice to put you in this position and your choice to put your family first.
Weddings are supposed to be about love not spite. Can't help but think de sounds very unkind and why would he want to marry her.

leighavfc

Tabbytabitha wrote: »

Why would you expect someone she doesn't "genuinely like" to be invited to her wedding?

Well quite clearly you have skim read the whole thing.... it was sorted as far as we were concerned............

leighavfc

Spendless wrote: »

I know it's the early hours, but I'm confused. Who is Jess? I'm guessing that she's your brother's girlfriend?

Why was your partner under the impression that Jess would only get an evening invite too, when the reason behind your gf only getting one seems to be her fall out with the bride?

I think I'd have just accepted the evening do invite only for the pair of you.

Hi,

Jess is my brothers GF, who has never met the bride. The issue here is that out of a 36 person wedding she has been invited and my partner hasnt. My partner and bride had sorted things to an extent. We were under the impression it was ok. Then this happens.

We was only aware of Jess going last night, not a problem with her going but its almost the bride has done this on purpose. My mate had text me the other week asking if my partner was ok about it all and he had been worrying about it all due to the situation. This is what tells me she still has the hump with my OH.

Again i see things from both sides here but am just confused as to why it was apparently sorted and now no invite to the wedding but my brothers GF who she has never met is. Numbers have played a part in this i guess, but lso a dig in there i think.

rach_k

I would get dressed up and go to the wedding ceremony but don't stay for the day reception, then both of you go to the evening do.

Do tell them in advance so they can fill the extra seat if they have time. Your friend is getting married - promising to love, honour, protect.... all that stuff, so it shouldn't be a surprise to him that you would do the same for your partner. It's literally a day about loving your partner so he shouldn't have a problem with you doing so!

Lioness_Twinkletoes

Personally I think to go to the wedding would be disloyal to your wife - and she should be your priority. Not your mate. If it were me, I wouldn't go at all.

leighavfc

getmore4less wrote: »

He should have discussed this with you before the invites arrived.

If it is a count thing, from what you have said a stranger(brothers+1) trumped your +1

Even given their choice you should have had a day do invite only and been included in the evening do with the family.

You could make a point and both turn up to the wedding ceremony.
(not the best idea)

Well yeah i would agree he should have said something before invites were out, i did say this to him. This is why i think its a dig, its almost like she has invited someone close to me to almost wind my OH up again.. which tbh she has done a lot of little sly things to stoke the fire when they fell out.

I wouldnt just turn up wih OH after not being invited tbh, i wouldnt want to cause the drama for my mate and my partner would certainly not turn up where she is not wanted.