Mother in law problems

hazyjo

If my husband didn't agree with me or back me, and he'd been brought up the way he had, I would be worrying that, actually, he agreed with his mother about me.


Next time, before you say anything about what his mother has said, ask him a direct question of if he agrees with her, or what his honest opinion is about it. Will prob either be (a) disagree with her; (b) agree with her (or words like "well I can see her POV" or "she has a point about..."); or (c) nonchalance - he'll say "I don't want to get involved" or "just ignore her" or "just let her do whatever for an easy life".


If (a) - why won't he stick up for you then? If (b) Well, at least you know where you stand and where his priorities lie, and you have something on which to base a decision. Or (c) that will NEVER change, he will NEVER back you (and she will think he agrees with her), so you need to work out if you can live with it.


Good luck.

gettingtheresometime

margaretclare wrote: »

What is it you don't agree with - IKEA or Wren? I haven't used either of them, our kitchen was designed and fitted by Magnet. I just produced Wren as a possible alternative.

Sorry Margaret - I've amended my post to clarify - it's Wren Kitchens that people seem to have a lot of problems with on the consumer board - though IKEA kitchens were recently on Watchdog themselves.

liuhutOz

https://community.babycenter.com/post/a62791180/mil-ruining-vacay-541?cpg=1

Have a look at this thread. Its about a MIL that goes on holiday with a couple and the woman does a bunk from the hotel! Might give you a few ideas :-)

Flugelhorn

liuhutOz wrote: »

https://community.babycenter.com/post/a62791180/mil-ruining-vacay-541?cpg=1

Have a look at this thread. Its about a MIL that goes on holiday with a couple and the woman does a bunk from the hotel! Might give you a few ideas :-)

Now you've done it- I am completely hooked!

hazyjo

Me too! Reading all her updates during and since!


OP (and others!) - take note lol!

LilElvis

margaretclare wrote: »

What is it you don't agree with - IKEA or Wren? I haven't used either of them, our kitchen was designed and fitted by Magnet. I just produced Wren as a possible alternative.

Wren have generated many, many lengthy posts on the Consumer Rights board - generally people pulling their hair out at having an incomplete/ bodged kitchen many months after the work started, rubbish customer service, repeated delivery of damaged items. All round awful experience appears to be the consensus. IKEA have had their fair share of similar posts, but nowhere near as many as Wren.

liuhutOz

Flugelhorn wrote: »

Now you've done it- I am completely hooked!

Yeah sorry about that :-) I should have put a warning on it! Just reading the OP really reminded me of what happened to the other lady

pollypenny

Jen, you are treated with no respect. I recall from your previous posts that you are a professional. Time to call on your skills, dealing with people and asserting yourself.

Why not book a local kitchen firm, who will have a vested interest in designing a kitchen specifically to suit you? Well done on putting your foot down about ikea.

Perhaps laughing that the silly woman!!!8217;s outdated attitude the next time she makes a comment woukd help.

[Deleted User]

GlasweJen wrote: »

I...Last night I asked him why his dad was coming to ikea and the answer was that he didn't believe the girl when she drew up our first plans, she said they had to put a 400mm gap between the hob and the oven (they'd be on the same level) well he didn't believe that and he wanted to come and basically brow beat ikea into changing their minds about it. I said that's ridiculous, if that's how it needs to be done then that's how it needs to be done let them get on with it - ikea know more about designing and fitting kitchens than your dad...

It doesn't matter what his Dad thinks - it not his Dad's kitchen. His Dad can go and swivel.


To be honest it sounds as though it is both parents-in-law that are causing issues.


Does your husband understand how upset and angry you are and that he needs to stop his parents from interferring?

Tabbytabitha

Is this your husband's first important relationship and, if not, did the same kind of thing occur previously? Also , was he living with his parents when the two of you got together?