Mother in law problems

gettingtheresometime

It would be interesting to know if the mil has any brothers and/or sisters who could tell you what she was like when she was younger as it sounds like behaviour that she's exhibited all her life

[Deleted User]

GlasweJen wrote: »

...I said no and was completely over ruled...

Your marriage is a partnership not a committee meeting. They cannot overrule you.

You said no and you meant no so don't go.

Before the weekend I think you need to draw a line in the sand and speak to your husband. Explain that you have had enough. That he needs to support you and he has to phone to tell (not explain) that IKEA on Sunday is off and they are not coming over either as you are going out for the day.

He needs to deal with them - they are his parents.

Unfortunately, it does sound like ultimatum time. Explain that you had had enough and it is time for him to man up or the marriage is over.



And you have to move house away from them too if he decides to save his marriage.

rach_k

What is your FIL's relationship like with your OH?

It sounds like FIL understands how bad his wife's behaviour can be, so would your husband listen to his dad telling him to cut the apron strings? FIL may not want (or be able) to leave his wife but he may have enough sense to not want that for his son. Maybe talk to him and see if he can help.

GlasweJen

gettingtheresometime wrote: »

It would be interesting to know if the mil has any brothers and/or sisters who could tell you what she was like when she was younger as it sounds like behaviour that she's exhibited all her life

She has two brothers, hasn't spoken to either of them for about 30 years. Two separate falling outs from what I understand - it's not spoken about.

GlasweJen

rach_k wrote: »

What is your FIL's relationship like with your OH?

It sounds like FIL understands how bad his wife's behaviour can be, so would your husband listen to his dad telling him to cut the apron strings? FIL may not want (or be able) to leave his wife but he may have enough sense to not want that for his son. Maybe talk to him and see if he can help.

FIL is an absolute dishrag, he should have retired last year but didn't so that he could get out the house away from MIL for a few hours every day. He encourages OH to be with MIL so that FIL can get a bit of respite.

Sayschezza

If as your name suggests you are from Glasgow then you are or should be a strong lady. Relocate,get a flat where you want to live and move. Don't tell anyone until the night before to reduce tears and tantrums. Tell your OH he is welcome to move with you or you will divorce on the grounds of unreasonable behaviour. Amazes me that anyone could love that much to put up with this sort of behaviour. He obviously has no respect for you and withdrawing yourself from the situation might just be the kick up the bum he needs. And for a start don't go to Ikea. Even if she chooses the kitchen you won't be around to have to use it anyway. Grow up and take control of your life you only have one so don't waste it.

Red-Squirrel_2

Didn!!!8217;t you post about using surrogacy to have a baby not long ago? I really hope that isn!!!8217;t still on the cards.

Marvel1

No wonder he kept Mummy issues before the wedding, he sounds like a !!!!!!!

GlasweJen

Red-Squirrel wrote: »

Didn!!!8217;t you post about using surrogacy to have a baby not long ago? I really hope that isn!!!8217;t still on the cards.

We have a few on ice but our first attempt didn't work out. I'm probably more sensitive just now as the baby should have been born around now.

hazyjo

When my bestie moans about her domineering brother, I now just get cross with her as it's her who constantly tells him things and looks for his approval. She moaned about him getting involved when she bought a car, when she's talked about works on her house, on what's right for their mum. The list goes on and on. I now just tell her til I'm blue in the face, STOP TELLING HIM THINGS! Your husband needs to stop looking for her approval cos he ain't gonna get it!

You talk, you decide, you arrange/book, then you say the week it's being done 'we've got the new kitchen/bathroom/windows/carpet, water being fitted this week'. Job done. If it saves your marriage, don't involve your husband either. Wrong and unhealthy, but it might make him think if you say why.