Money Moral Dilemma: Should I make my grown-up daughter pay to live at home?

svain

Pollycat wrote: »

How can anyone say 'how much' is reasonable without knowing how much the daughter earns and what the increase in utilities and food is?

what difference does it make what she earns?? .... Assuming she is working full time it matters not whether she earns £13k or £130k .... If she is earning less, then thats a different conversation

onomatopoeia99

Mojisola wrote: »

Isn't that the sort of thing you'd talk through and agree about before she moved back in?

Realtionship in tatters, child distraught and possibly facing imminent homelessness, "Well darling, perhaps you can move back in, but let's work out a household budget and set a realistic level of rent before then, shall we?"




At least with this one we aren't getting people saying it's all made up in the school holidays. Instead they've gone the other way of complaining it has been asked before by other people :rotfl:

davethorp

You!!!8217;re a parent with a grown up daughter

Surely you are capable of calculating the financial impact of letting them live with you again and then charging an appropriate contribution

Tabbytabitha

onomatopoeia99 wrote: »

Realtionship in tatters, child distraught and possibly facing imminent homelessness, "Well darling, perhaps you can move back in, but let's work out a household budget and set a realistic level of rent before then, shall we?"
:

You should be writing romantic fiction the way you've embroidered that little tale!

Tabbytabitha

silvercar wrote: »

Similar threads:

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/5847954/charging-rent-from-children

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/5832709/when-to-charge-board-for-room

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/5824336/when-to-stop-financially-supporting-adult-kids

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/5728197/how-much-should-i-be-paying-my-parents-for-rent

The latest of those is only three threads lower down on the board, suggesting the MSE bod hasn't even bothered to look.:(

JuliusCaesar

Here we go again!


To put it simply, she is an independent adult. Charge her exactly the same as you would charge a lodger who was totally unrelated. And treat her like one!

Pollycat

onomatopoeia99 wrote: »

Realtionship in tatters, child distraught and possibly facing imminent homelessness, "Well darling, perhaps you can move back in, but let's work out a household budget and set a realistic level of rent before then, shall we?"




At least with this one we aren't getting people saying it's all made up in the school holidays. Instead they've gone the other way of complaining it has been asked before by other people :rotfl:

FGS - she a 30 year old adult.
That's not a child.

And it could have been her choice to end the relationship - so any 'tatters' would be down to her.

David.973

Regardless of age and relationship status, my first instinct would be a grace period. Don’t expect anything for a fortnight or a month to let her begin sorting herself out.

After this, consider is she in work. If so, is she full time, part time or casual (i.e. a zero hours contract/ freelance depending upon her field or if she’s done it because of health, kids, etc.)

If she is full time employed, then by all means ask her for something. If I were a parent, though, I’d be uncomfortable asking for more than £10-£20 per week (whether I were making her meals, etc. or not).

If she’s part time, out of work or any of the other options, I would be embarrassed, as a theoretical parent (nowhere near that yet!), to even expect she pick the odd loaf or bottle of milk up. She’s in a hard place, she’s probably either pretty dam upset, looking to move herself (I certainly did after moving back in with my parents after Uni), or she may be trying to work it out with her ex.

Regardless of which, she probably cannot afford (emotionally or financially), to do anything in the short term. I mean, if her stay continued past a few month, I would then consider asking, if it were financially viable, but definitely not straight away. Putting myself in the OPs shoes “she is my daughter, my flesh and blood. Families must stick together”.

kazt2006

I know it is slightly different but when I graduated my mum told me if I wanted to live at home she wanted at least 15% of my take home pay board etc. Knowing full well I could not get somewhere external for that amount.

You could give her a 3 month grace period to get herself sorted and then charge her say 50% to 75% of what she was paying in the previous share arrangement. If you feel guilty then save it and give it her back when she is resettled in her own place.

Pollycat

svain wrote: »

what difference does it make what she earns?? .... Assuming she is working full time it matters not whether she earns £13k or £130k .... If she is earning less, then thats a different conversation

But the point is we don't know what she's earning so don't know if there should be a different conversation.

Perhaps I should have just said this:

Pollycat wrote: »

How can anyone say 'how much' is reasonable[STRIKE] without knowing how much the daughter earns and what the increase in utilities and food is[/STRIKE] ?