Money Moral Dilemma: Should I make my grown-up daughter pay to live at home?

crmism

By the sound of things, you have already broached the subject with your daughter, who is of an age when she should be financially independent in every sense of the word, and should not expect to treat you like a charity.

I take it that she has employment, and earned enough to pay her share of the rent in full when she lived with her boyfriend, in which case that figure ought to be your starting point in terms of rent for accommodation alone. On top of that, she should also contribute her fair share for energy and food.

As I see it, she has an easy choice - either to pay her way in life if she wants to live with you, or find somewhere else to rent. In straight money terms, it's a no-brainer, so I don't reckon you'll have any difficulty persuading her to pay for her keep. Best of luck.

ap2010

svain wrote: »

what difference does it make what she earns?? .... Assuming she is working full time it matters not whether she earns £13k or £130k .... If she is earning less, then thats a different conversation

If she can afford to pay more, it might mean her parents ask her for more than the bare minimum?

ZiggyM

Of course she should contribute as your expenses will increase with another adult in the household.
We had a similar situation a couple of years ago and requested 50% of the local market rental rate. Our son got a good deal and we were not financially disadvantaged.

matelodave

Our daughter paid us rent and some expenses as soon as she started full time employment at age 18. She also knew that she'd have to pay us something even if she hadn't got a job when she left school. It was our way of teaching her financial responsibility. The same rules would have applied to her elder sister who went to uni and had to pay her way whilst there.

She also had jobs and chores to do at home (cooking, cleaning, she did her own ironing etc) as well to teach her that it wasn't a hotel either and that she had to behave like an adult.

There was no argument. We saved the money so when she did leave and get married there was a very nice nest egg that went a very long way towards them buying their first house.

She is now 46 and their mortgage will be paid off this year.

She will be doing the same with her son when he comes to live at home after he's finished at university whether he has a job or not. They also need an incentive to go to work and not just live off Mum & Dad. Life is not free and the sooner kids learn it (at what ever age) the better they'll be.

You do not do your children any favours by letting them get away without paying their fair share, preferably based on what it would cost them if they were living independently.

By all means save it and give it back when they leave but don't leave them with a false impression that living at home is free - it's not.

They should also contribute their fair share to cooking, cleaning, ironing and other duties and not be allowed to slob about.

leeparsons

svain wrote: »

what difference does it make what she earns?? .... Assuming she is working full time it matters not whether she earns £13k or £130k .... If she is earning less, then thats a different conversation

I haft to pay £90 a week. I am not working, due to being ill.

svain

leeparsons wrote: »

I haft to pay £90 a week. I am not working, due to being ill.

To your parents? ... and you are too ill to work??

Tabbytabitha

svain wrote: »

To your parents? ... and you are too ill to work??

It may be news to you but we have a benefit system which gives money to the sick or disabled so that they have money to pay for their living costs and be independent.:D

svain

Tabbytabitha wrote: »

It may be news to you but we have a benefit system which gives money to the sick or disabled so that they have money to pay for their living costs and be independent.:D

No, not news to me .... I guess if poster getting Housing Benefit then fair enough ... I dont know if they can apply if living with parents?

KxMx

No you can't get HB if living with parents.

What was meant I think is that ESA/PIP can be used to pay keep.

I'm on ESA and pay my mother keep out of that.

After all if I lived alone it'd have to pay for gas/electric etc.

I'm not charged anywhere near £90 a week though.

svain

KxMx wrote: »

No you can't get HB if living with parents.

What was meant I think is that ESA/PIP can be used to pay keep.

I'm on ESA and pay my mother keep out of that.

After all if I lived alone it'd have to pay for gas/electric etc.

I'm not charged anywhere near £90 a week though.

I have no idea how much ESA/PIP amounts to but i am guessing not a great deal. I find it strange, especially in these type circumstances (ill health etc) why a parent would charge their child rent/board/keep etc for the basic, unless of course genuinely needed to keep the roof over head or the parent has less disposable income than the child.