Money Moral Dilemma: Should I make my grown-up daughter pay to live at home?

kensington143

sheepy21 wrote: »

I'd say say £100 a week, if you provide all food, cook, clean and to cover utilities etc if she's on a good wage. If she's autonomous and not using facilities so much or having food, then £50 a week. There again, also dependent on her income

I agree - although our daughter is in her 20s, she contributes one third of her wages up to a maximum of £375 per calendar month, as her monthly income varies a bit. She is very happy with this as we've talked it through - her older brother did the same!

Mojisola

MSE_Sarah wrote: »

Our 30-year-old daughter recently moved back in with us, after her relationship ended. She'd been living with her boyfriend and splitting the cost of rent.

onomatopoeia99 wrote: »

Realtionship in tatters, child distraught and possibly facing imminent homelessness, "Well darling, perhaps you can move back in, but let's work out a household budget and set a realistic level of rent before then, shall we?"

That's a bit of leap, given the information in the first post!

Even if that was the situation, the matter should have been talked through in the first week or so.

I'd be very disappointed if any of ours came home and didn't offer to share the bills or work out some payment in kind.

tommygirl3

I know someone who was still living with her mum at 32 and paid her mum £1k pcm to live at home. She had a room which she grew up in and couldn't really bring potential partners home (single bed and the mum waits for her to return from work, etc).

But back to OP's question, yes I think daughter should contribute. But regardless of the various amounts others have commented on, this is something which you'll need to discuss with your daughter to come to a compromise. My gut feel is an amount between what additional costs would be incurred for your daughter to move back home and the market going rate for a room for rent.

BristolRocks

You could put her contribution into a Lifetime ISA for her to help her eventually buy her own place and move out, so win-win for both.

happyinflorida

Does the person asking this question need the money, is that why they're asking this on here?


Personally I wouldn't charge my children/adults anything unless I needed the money.


I'd enjoy having them back home and would be giving them emotional support, especially after a break up at such an age, that's got to be hard for the daughter.


What are the daughter's finances like, is she in debt and if yes, how did she get into debt.


If you need money, then ask what she's earning and work out something between you that covers your costs and she can afford.

gordon_muchamore

Most definitely YES.
When I was a young boy 65 plus years ago I gave my Mum 1/3 of everything I earned, doing various odd jobs, so if I earned 6 Shillings (30p) I gave her 2 Shillings (10p). This was the norm for all of us.
When I left home in my mid twenties I was earning very good money and Mum still got 1/3, her only complaint was that she felt it was too much and she did not need it, but I insisted. She had kept me while I went through training etc. so it was then payback time.
This meant that when I ventured out into the big bad world I was already used to earmarking some of my income for bills etc, and it was a very valuable lesson in life.
So if 1/3 was good enough then what is wrong with 1/3 of income to Mum now.
I would bet that if Mum does not need it all, the grandchildren will benefit.

cmotd

When I started work my parents had a non-negotiable rule if I wished to live at home - 1/3 of my take home salary, after travel expenses etc, was to be paid in rent, 1/3 was to be saved and the remainder was mine to spend as I liked. I grumbled but stuck to it for several years until it was time to leave the nest.

When I got married and was looking to buy my first house they revealed that all my rent to them had been put into a long term savings account which they then returned to me and it paid a large chunk of my mortgage deposit. God bless them!

gaving7095

Yes she should contribute.
There'd be more of a "moral" issue with allowing her to NOT contribute IMO, as you'd surely want to have raised a right-thinking, non-burden on society type person?

JayD

Yes she should contribute towards the cost of her keep while she is living with you.


Only you can say how much - but a fair portion of what you estimate the additional cost of her stay being would seem fair.


YAWN!

onlyroz

If you don't charge her she'll still be there in a year, with no incentive to get back on her own two feet again.