Money Moral Dilemma: Should I make my grown-up daughter pay to live at home?

KxMx

In my mother's case she genuinely needs it, and in my case I want to be an adult and pay my way, and paying even a small keep gives me that dignity.

I neither want nor need to be fully kept by my mother, I'm painfully aware of how little i contribute as it is.

Again if I lived alone my ESA would go on living costs so why not the same when I still live at home.

Just because I am ill and disabled doesn't mean I am exempt from day to day adult stuff like paying parent keep. I am after all still an adult with an income of my own.

svain

KxMx wrote: »

In my mother's case she genuinely needs it, and in my case I want to be an adult and pay my way, and paying even a small keep gives me that dignity.

I neither want nor need to be fully kept by my mother, I'm painfully aware of how little i contribute as it is.

Again if I lived alone my ESA would go on living costs so why not the same when I still live at home.

Just because I am ill and disabled doesn't mean I am exempt from day to day adult stuff like paying parent keep. I am after all still an adult with an income of my own.

Admirable your intentions are, as your mother genuinely needs it, you cant say if the situation would be the same if she didnt

Colliedoor

How many of those saying don't charge her can afford to keep an extra adult free of charge?


My 23 YO son moved back in a couple of months ago and so far I haven't asked for anything as the first month he wasn't working and this month he has a job but doesn't get paid till the end of the month. I reckon it's costing an extra £200 or so in food, utilities and sundries which, by the end of each month I'm having to use the savings I put by at the start of the month to fund.


When he gets paid I intend to only take as much as it costs to cover the extra above, not Council Tax or a full share of bills but there's no way we could afford to have him stay and not contribute long-term.

KxMx

svain wrote: »

Admirable your intentions are, as your mother genuinely needs it, you cant say if the situation would be the same if she didnt

I'd still be the same person, an adult with my own income willing and able to pay keep, still not wanting my mother to fully keep me. I have plenty of dignity and independence so why at the age of 31 would I want to be kept by my mother, even if she could afford it?

svain

KxMx wrote: »

I'd still be the same person, an adult with my own income willing and able to pay keep, still not wanting my mother to fully keep me. I have plenty of dignity and independence so why at the age of 31 would I want to be kept by my mother, even if she could afford it?

Because if your mother was towards the opposite end of financial scale she may not accept your contribution, preferring the feeling of goodwill, generosity etc.

Paying money over in these different circumstance does not guarantee dignity