Crazy Cat Lady Chapter 3 - A New Beginning

wishingthemortgaheaway

Will the money you've had to spend on 'Dog the bounty hunter' be knocked off any money the courts think your ex is entitled too? It seems so unfair that he has done one and you have to suffer. Surely if you can become legally divorced with put him engaging you can sort the finances out. I do t understand any of it, but it all seems long winded and expensive grrrrr

crazy_cat_lady

Thing is WTMA - he signed the divorce papers. Everything was lovely and amicable for the first couple of months, and he'd never been happier and was really going to make a go of his new life etc etc etc. He was all up for signing the mortgage over as well until he discovered that he was going to have to see a solicitor to witness him signing. Then his anxiety kicked in and he refused to go - even though I offered to make an appointment and pay for it. So for the 10 minutes it would have taken to have a signature witnessed he could have walked away with £5k to start again. Unfortunately he now owes me thousands and has nothing except anxiety and alcoholism.
I get that the judges need to be fair, but the law is an !!! when it comes to my situation. I understand that the whole thing is in place to ensure that people (usually women) in a marriage that haven't worked because they were making a home or raising a family get something. However, he didn't stay home and look after the house and raise our children. He stayed at home with alcoholism and anxiety, getting drunk and watching football while I went to work, took on extra work and tried to raise our children as well. It seems massively unfair that he may still get half of everything.
The judges have so far reserved their decisions on awarding costs to me but I have applied for it. I've spent over £4000 so far just on court applications etc - never mind my solicitor fees and other expenses like mediation and Dog the Bounty Hunter. I hope in the end they will allow me to walk away from this without my paying anything to him, but him owing me (to add onto the £3000+ he already owes me)

crazy_cat_lady

Anyway - onto other stuff that's not related to my ex...
I feel better than I did yesterday but I'm still lacking in motivation generally... just putting one foot in front of the other at the moment and being grateful for the small things in my life.
I've contacted my sister and bestie, and have arranged a late lunch with my sis in a week or so for a proper catch up and to finalise my divorce party. Bestie is coming over with coffees after lunch so we can have a bit of a catch up, so I finally get some real life adult company. I'm hopeful that it's going to be the therapy that I need to start feeling better.
Got my giant jam pan out in preparation for making my chutney. I also trawled through Jack Monroe's website for inspiration with my glut of veggies and will also be making salad bag pesto, and pickled radishes _pale_ _pale_ You lot know what I'm like in terms of confidence in the kitchen but when I have hours in the day I really hate seeing things going to waste.
My decluttering will continue - 29 items minimum to find today, and the usual little bits round the house like washing, rubbish, dishes and hoovering. Hopefully this will keep me busy enough not to get maudlin...

teapot2

Sounds like a busy day to me with lots done even if it didn't feel like it. Hope Dog is successful in tracing the ex and you can move forward with the legal stuff.

On the subject of the greenery. You could just whizz the watercress and spinach into soup with an onion and some stock and then freeze it if you are not going to eat it fresh :cool:

beanielou

Good news on Dog the hunter.

crazy_cat_lady

Hello :hello:
Well bestie only had time to stay for an hour, but real life adult company was exactly what I needed and I felt much better afterwards. That will probably be it for a little while as she's off to Tunisia for a fortnight quite soon, and I will miss her. But we crammed a lot of catching up into the hour and the importance of spending time with people is grossly underestimated.
I got busy in the kitchen before she came and I have 1 jar of pickled radishes, 4 jars of gooseberry chutney, a pot of home made salad pesto, and 2 portions of spinach and watercress soup (thanks for the idea teapot). I quite like pottering about and not stressing about time and things that need doing, and where my next pennies might be coming from.
Also decluttered 29 items very easily from my underwear drawer - so many things that have been shoved in there and forgotten about. And I did the usual washing, rubbish, recycling, hoovering etc.
DS is lots better, and now can manage to take his antibiotic tablets first time so that has become a lot less stressful. He and his sister have sat on their bums most of the day watching rubbish reality tv box sets but at least not arguing with each other which I am very grateful for.
Only bother with pottering about all day is that it's truly rubbish for my diet. It makes me just pick at food and whatever I can find.

crazy_cat_lady

I had a bit of a restless night last night - this often happens if I have a day of staying in the house and I suppose proves the importance of exercise to tire you out. If only I actually enjoyed it though
Not much planned for today either but I will at least be getting out of the house. I've not seen my mam for a month so I'm heading over there in about half an hour for a catch up. My sister is going too so it'll be a double whammy. As both kids are still sleeping I suppose I should go up and wake them as we're meant to be there by 11am :rotfl:
Not sure what else I will be doing, I've had a couple of hours just sitting watching the news (so depressing - flooding and mass shootings everywhere) with a cuppa. I have quite a few ongoing crochet projects that I really need to keep going with because there are time limits on getting some of them done (baby blankets and gifts for December time) but they aren't going to get me exercise to tire me out for later tonight. I'll see how I feel after I've been to my mam's. Not everything needs to be planned to the nth degree.
Got my invoice from Dog the Bounty Hunter this morning, along with an email reiterating how hard it is to find someone that is a complete loner. He did, however, say that I would get a partial refund if he doesn't manage to find him. Silver linings I suppose. So I've used some of my very hard earned exam cash to pay for that Now just to sit back and see what happens next...

beanielou

Enjoy your catch up with your family.

joeyjimbles

Hope you've had a lovely day with your family and you didn't get the weird weather we've had over here - it looked brighter towards the East so hopefully you just got the sunny bit from this morning.

Buffythedebtslayer

Confession - Dog the Bounty Hunter has conjured up an image of a man with a pump action shotgun and a Range Rover waking up homeless people and demanding to know who they are with menaces.....


Any how aside from my overactive imagination I too hope you had a good family day and your boy is ok and drinking loads.

XXXX