Crazy Cat Lady Chapter 3 - A New Beginning

crazy_cat_lady

Hello :hello:
I don't know what it is but I feel more tired now than I did last week... :rotfl: Washing machine is still whirring away, another 3 loads at least to do over the weekend (bedding and towels). I haven't done much - just got back from a few hours with bestie, which was as lovely as it always is. Seems I have given her the holiday bug and she's desperate to book something for herself and her family over the summer this year. I would like to think we can go again but realistically it's not going to happen any time soon with my financial situation. Ah well. I am happy at home most days anyway. And when I finally get the money sorted out then I can get on with saving for a holiday and generally enjoying life. I have to confess though, I am now starting to feel like I did once I started my dmp last time round - but I know the situation isn't that bad yet - I'd just gotten to the stage where we were comfortable, and now I'm in loads of debt again. I know it's been inevitable but it's still hard to deal with - and at least it's not through my frivolous money wasting this time. I have definitely learned my lesson, and whilst there is still some room for improvement I am definitely more frugal than I was...
Not much going on here for the rest of the day. Crochet, and I'm trying to psyche myself up to make a lasagne. I've been fancying that for weeks now and still haven't gotten round to it :rotfl:

foxgloves

Hi CCL, I was glad to see you enjoyed your holiday. I think you're right about your current debt. You haven't built it up by frittering money away, which was my speciality back when I was spendy, so I know you haven't been doing that. It is circumstances which have caused it this time. I think you can feel secure in the knowledge that you have done everything correctly from your own perspective, regarding the divorce, financial settlement, etc, & the rest of it seems to be pretty much outside of your control. While this must be utterly infuriating, it will come good in the end & you'll feel better once you know exactly how big the debt is, that things are settled between you & your ex so it can't get any bigger with all the continuing legal bills, etc, & importantly, even though it's a large amount, it's that thing of feeling better as soon as you know the extent of it & can begin putting plans in place to sort it out. I'm assuming a big part of the problem is that your ex still refuses to engage with the process. Do you have any idea how long it will be for it to be sorted out via a legal route? It must be very frustrating, & from his point of view too, he's only delaying the inevitable.
I think that the only thing you can really do on a day to day basis is to keep your spending down as low as possible. I'm crossing my fingers that the end is in sight for you.
F x

Buffythedebtslayer

Excellent that you had a great holiday Brilliant in fact

XXX

f0xh0les

Would it help if you thought of it like a career development loan? A personal development loan. Could you imagine going into the bank and asking for a £15k loan - reason for borrowing? Divorce. Of course madam, 5 year term, 2% interest. Not sure we are quite that enlightened yet.

crazy_cat_lady

Morning all :coffee:
Thanks for the support and encouragement foxgloves, f0xh0les and Buffy :grouphug:
I am trying to look at the greater good and knowing that it's going to work out for the best in the end, but my solicitor has warned it could still be a couple of years yet. The problem is still ex's refusal to engage with anything or anyone. I range the child maintenance people as he hadn't paid me anything at all and they told me they've written to him 4 times and tried to call him over 10 times but there has been no response at all. And whilst I'm not benefitting short term, then longer term he still owes me the money - but I've been told that I won't likely see anything before June at the earliest. As for the house and finances, I got an email from my solicitor saying that the courts have acknowledged receipt of the application and it is in process and to expect to get a date soon. My solicitor has also warned me that this will take time, because the court will give us as much time as possible to try and sort things out between us, and as he's refusing to engage then everything will run until deadlines that are set by the courts so it could still be a year or two yet. It's incredibly frustrating as once I've made a decision I just want to get things sorted - however, I'm learning all sorts of patience I didn't know I had. Anyway, it will get sorted sooner or later, and I will move on. I've dug myself out of worse situations than this.
So, today's plans! I am going out with my sister this afternoon. We have booked an afternoon tea, with as much prosecco as we can drink included in the price. It will be paid for using the money I brought back from holiday. I'm really pleased that things are much better between me and my sister since I split from my ex and am looking forward to spending a bit of time with her.
Other than that - no plans. I have no tutoring this week, which is awful for the finances but brilliant for me and my mental health, and I need to keep trying to strike that balance. I have to try and live a little in amongst all these financial issues. Rest, relax, get the washing finished, watch tv and ready myself for the return to work...

beanielou

Enjoy the afternoon tea

1LuckyLady

So pleased to hear that you had a good holiday CCL. I can't get over how long its all going to take to get things finalised from your ex, its crazy. You are doing so well keeping everything together.
Hope you had a lovely afternoon with your sister.

crazy_cat_lady

Hello :hello:
I really, really don't want to go back to work tomorrow. I'm just enjoying sitting on my bum and doing almost nothing - I could get used to it.
Woke up at 5.30 this morning and couldn't get back to sleep. I need to try hard not to nap this afternoon as that will wreck tonight's sleep and I'll struggle to get going in the morning. I've got a few small bits done - lunches prepped and money for the week ahead sorted (thank goodness it's payday soon), washing machine is still going but is on the last current load (phew), and I've portioned up leftover lasagne for dinners from the freezer for frugal weeks ahead. Still need to change the cat trays and put the recycling out, and get the kids to do their rooms but I'm enjoying a bit of crochet time at the moment so I'm doing a bit of that followed by a bit of house stuff.
Yesterday afternoon was wonderful - lovely to spend some time just me and my sister. We got very drunk and sat putting the world to rights :rotfl: a whole bottle of prosecco each so I would say good value for money. And being mother of the year, I staggered home via a well known pasty shop for tea for the kids. I seem to have some inbuilt common sense chip because no matter how drunk I get something reminds me that I have to make sure my kids are ok no matter what. Got home just after 5pm and the rest of the evening was a bit of a write off of me pretending to really enjoy watching telly but not remembering any of it at all. :rotfl:
Had a strange phone call from the police this morning as well. At first I thought that ex had finally done what he's threatened to do for ages... but no, they were following up on the pre Christmas incident and asking as to whether there'd been any further trouble etc. Bit weird 2 months after the event but good to know they're still keeping an eye I suppose.
Not much else to report - just trying to psyche myself up to making some overnight oats or something for breakfasts next week. I seem to have a glut of tinned peaches that need using.

Honeysucklelou2

Glad you had a good time with your sister.

Not looking forward to tomorrow but determined to enjoy every moment of the sunshine today. Enjoy your afternoon.

f0xh0les

Again with the peaches? or are they still the same ones from last year? I have had 3 tins sat in the fridge for weeks. So I took them back out and put them in the pantry. They can stay there until I find some ys puff pastry and I'll make some pretty apricot breakfast style pastries (but with peaches, obv).

So glad you had a good time. Does the tutoring fall off toward exam time? when the marking ramps up I suppose. Well, if the weather continues as it has been the last week, then it is Spring, and that means longer lighter evenings that make you feel like you have more free time after work.

Only 7 weeks until Easter hols (if you break on 13th like we do)