Crazy Cat Lady Chapter 3 - A New Beginning

f0xh0les

Hot water bottles!

My boiler is going to cost me another £120 next week. £50 this week, and £120 the week before. One of us Turtles should retrain as a boiler-maid.

crazy_cat_lady

Hey :hello:
Apologies again for the silence, but I have fallen far behind with marking - procrastination has become my enemy and now I have very little time to get a lot of stuff done... Busy evening ahead. I've been out today catching up with bestie who I've not seen for about a month due to travelling and illness. She's still poorly but was well enough for me to visit a few hours this afternoon and we've had a good natter.
Life has been pretty non existent and I confess that I've had a bit of a miserable week. Exam marking tires me out at the best of times - life becomes work, exam mark, sleep, repeat for a couple of weeks. Stick the additional home and work stress on top and things get miserable.
I'm sure it will come as no surprise to anyone at all that the boiler was beyond repair so the bank of mam lent me the money to have it replaced. We were only without heating and hot water for 2 days but it was utterly miserable. Yes, I have billions of blankets which was lovely and snuggly but it was freezing during the night, and I couldn't get out of bed in the morning because it was so cold getting dressed. And by day 2 I needed to wash my hair so braved a cold shower and now completely understand the theory of water torture - I was in physical pain and crying by the time I'd finished - and all because I was too lazy to walk to my sister's house where I could have had a hot shower or bath
My debt is immense. And I still have to take my ex husband to court. More depressing news during the week when he didn't pay any maintenance and I found out that we have to wait to push either court or maintenance. The longer we wait, the more it costs and the more debt I get into. My only comfort is that he owes me a fortune and is therefore unlikely to get any sort of payout from me when we finally do get to court. I wish he'd done what he said he would do and kept things amicable between us. I desperately didn't want things to end like this, but I now genuinely feel as though I don't ever want to speak to him again. That's a real shame when you've given 16 years of your life to someone and you have kids together. If only he had found the balls somewhere to actually grow up and ask for help instead of constantly making excuses - his behaviour is still beyond belief to me, and I hate the thought of the kids now having to deal with it.
Ah well, I cannot control that, and it will pass - even if I have to go bankrupt. My life is happier without him in it and I need to remember that above all else. Trying to ignore the fact that since I've been on my own I have had to: replace the garden fence, fix my broken bathroom floor, replace bathroom drainage system, get a new fridge, have the washing machine repaired, buy new tyres for the car and now replace the boiler. On top of all the legal expenses. No real surprise I can barely afford to breathe.

Honeysucklelou2

Sorry to read that the ex hasn't paid maintenance.

Have you got one more week to half term?

f0xh0les

Massive amounts of hugs and goodwill coming your way from me.

Hopefully nothing else will break, and you will get a week away to relax properly with the kids and you can just put your stress in a box for those few days and escape and recuperate. It is all suffocating while you are in the middle of it, but you will come through, it will end, you will emerge slightly battered and bruised from the experience, but you know you have done nothing wrong, you are not the architect of this particular situation, it is an emotional and financial obstacle course, and right now you are in the middle of one of those rolling flappy tunnel things and you can't see the daylight at the end, but you know it is there, you just have to crawl around one more corner, and there will be daylight to aim toward.

Just keep breathing. It will pass.


My grandfather was one of those people in Norn Iron who separated from his wife in the early 60's, but because of the way the law was, and his wife did not agree to the divorce, he had to wait until the law changed in the 1980s before he could get married again. 20+ years!! This is no longer the case. This is not you. It will all get sorted. Keep strong.

Eager_Elephant

I hope life calms down for you soon and how lovely of your mum to lend you money to get a new boiler.

I would think the quickest route is CMS as they can attach to wages whereas the court will make an order and if he breaches it, it is you that has to keep taking it back which will cost money.

Please dont worry about the debt at the moment, it was all for a good reason. Once things are sorted you can make a plan of action and we will support you whatever you decide.

SpekySquarehead

Hey CCL.

As ever, you sound like you have many spinning plates. Try and take some time to yourself - and the kids - once you're all caught up.

Hope you're cold/flu has disappeared now.

crazy_cat_lady

Hello :T
I have emerged from the marking pit, and everything is complete for this marking season. Now to get my life back and wait for the money to come rolling in. It's been a tough couple of weeks - made worse by the illness and extra expenses.
Tonight is the first night since 22nd January that I've had no marking to do so I am trying to relax - I'm utterly exhausted and all I really want to do is sleep but I also want to catch up on here, and do a bit of crochet, and I need to think about packing for our holiday etc. Still lots to do, plus two more work get ups to survive as well.
I don't know where to start with an update... My house is lovely and warm and fresh for the time being, and I'm happy with that but very skint and obviously still owing a lot of money to a lot of people. I will worry about that next week once we're home - I'll make time to sit down and sort everything out and see where I'm at. I also need to make the decision about how much summer exam marking to take on - enough to earn some decent extra cash but not so much I die of exhaustion. I've noticed that when I don't get any wind down time I start eating badly, getting lots of illnesses and feeling mentally poor again. I need the balance to be right where I can.
I haven't had time to think about the holiday much - the kids are very excited but I'm not as yet. I have the practicalities weighing on my mind of getting clothes packed, checking baggage size, getting us to the airport, paying the catsitter and getting keys to my sister, who is going to come round and keep an eye on the place while we're away. All with a couple of work days and a very early start on Saturday. It will be nice to have a few days away and completely relax (I hope).
There isn't much to report really, I've just been very busy with working two jobs and looking after the kids. No progress with the finances or child maintenance, other than the court have acknowledged the application so I have to wait for a date for that, and that cms are now chasing ex but have warned me it will be months. :mad: At least it is still moving, albeit more slowly than I could ever have imagined.

wishingthemortgaheaway

I'm hoping you have a fantastic time.

SpekySquarehead

crazy_cat_lady wrote: »

I've noticed that when I don't get any wind down time I start eating badly, getting lots of illnesses and feeling mentally poor again. I need the balance to be right where I can.

Which is similar to what we were talking about on my diary :rotfl: Money is important, I get that, especially with all that's going on just now CCL, but as is your own heath, physical and mental, so don't let one cannibalise the other.

The holiday will come and you'll have everything in place to allow yourself to switch off and have some important time with the kids, no doubt about it. You deserve it, so try and enjoy it!

crazy_cat_lady

Thanks Speky - if only I could take my own advice eh? But seriously, I am trying not to stress too much about it because then you end up on the slippery slope into nothing. I get tired, I spend money, I eat the wrong stuff, I feel rubbish - repeat.
I am tired again today. Think it's just this half term catching up with me, but only one more get up to go then I can get on thinking about the hols. I finally got round to packing my clothes last night - nothing else yet but it is at least a start I also finally braved ds bedroom to discover a washing basket full to the brim and overflowing - from the boy that tells me he never has any dirty washing when I ask. The same boy that can never find clean pants and socks. I'm pleased I made that discovery with plenty of time to do three loads of washing before we go away. At least now he will have clean pants and socks, and trousers and shorts and t-shirts as well...
Aim is to survive today, get home early ish tonight and pack some more stuff. Then if I can, sit in front of the telly and just crochet for a bit. Try not to stress, try not to worry and just look after myself. That is my plan anyway.