Work Wifes and Husbands

Gloomendoom

balletshoes wrote: »

I don't have a work spouse.

I do. I also have a marriage certificate that makes it all legal and above board.

NeilCr

Pollycat wrote: »

But if he's deleting his messages - probably both sent and received - what are you likely to find if he hands his phone over for you to look at?

I think if he really is having an affair, he knows you're suspicious and will have all the answers ready.
He's likely to run rings round you and it will probably end up with you feeling totally in the wrong for even thinking of doubting his fidelity to you.
This is how marital cheats work.

Quite.

Going straight for the phone isn't the way to go.

On the other much missed (!) thread I seem to recall there was an invitation to the "work wifes" for dinner. I'd start with accepting that and seeing how she and her partner and she and your husband interact. Rather than piling in with accusations.

Emily1968

Pollycat wrote: »

But if he's deleting his messages - probably both sent and received - what are you likely to find if he hands his phone over for you to look at?

I think if he really is having an affair, he knows you're suspicious and will have all the answers ready.
He's likely to run rings round you and it will probably end up with you feeling totally in the wrong for even thinking of doubting his fidelity to you.
This is how marital cheats work.

weve been married 23 years maybe your right , I always thought I would just know but im torn really

NeilCr

I have to say that if they are having an affair then inviting you round to hers is an extremely bold thing to do. From what you say it is likely that he may be aware of your "suspicions" so it is a possibility, to say the least, that you could say something to her partner.

Tigsteroonie

Can I have a "work son"?

Pollycat

NeilCr wrote: »

I have to say that if they are having an affair then inviting you round to hers is an extremely bold thing to do. From what you say it is likely that he may be aware of your "suspicions" so it is a possibility, to say the least, that you could say something to her partner.

Yes, I agree it's bold.

Unless they really think they can pull the wool over your and her partner's eyes (if they really are having an affair).
Some people thrive on that knife-edge of adtenalin-fuelled game.

It sounds odd (to me) that she would invite you for dinner and drinks eighty mile away when you've never met before.
But maybe that's just me.

NeilCr

Pollycat wrote: »

It sounds odd (to me) that she would invite you for dinner and drinks eighty mile away when you've never met before.
But maybe that's just me.

Yep.

The only thing I can think of (apart from the knife edge) is that the husband is getting a bit tired of the OP's suspicions and they think if OP sees the "work wife" happily in situ with her partner it may allay them.

I've got some friends who like playing close to the wind but I can't see them pulling the (unnecessary) dinner for the first time trick. They'd have to be very confident.

martinbuckley

Emily1968 wrote: »

I would like some genuine opinions. No more trolls thank you.

If you want to avoid trolls, then don't post questions on a public message board.

74jax

He may have invited her for dinner knowing she would say no. My guess is, if she said yes, then a date would never materialise.

NeilCr

74jax wrote: »

He may have invited her for dinner knowing she would say no. My guess is, if she said yes, then a date would never materialise.

Yes. True.

Still runnng a bit of a risk, though. If she says yes and it doesn't happen then it's going to fuel suspicions.