Work Wifes and Husbands

Fireflyaway

My understanding is a work wife / husband is just a light hearted phrase referring to someone you spend a lot of time with at work, particularly if they try to organize you etc. One of my team members refers to a young lady from another team as his work wife! They always ask each other for help and she jokingly tells him off. They always have lunch together etc. They are both very young and single and she is gay anyway. It's just a funny thing they do.
It does seem though that a work place would be a natural place to flirt / start an affair because you are together all day. I know my husband will see slim attractive woman in his office. They will be dressed nice and wearing make up and on best behaviour, then he comes home to me whose bare faced, tired and wearing pajamas! It's just life.
I would feel uneasy if the same woman was mentioned all the time.
No amount of worry can prevent an affair so try not to get too consumed. I'd talk to your husband if you have concerns. I read something recently that said confronting suspicions may be the best way to prevent it going further.

prowla

I've never heard the phrase before, I have to say.

However, when my ex-wife was working, she would spend hours talking about all of the people at her work and there would always be one she'd latched on to, so the fact that a person does talk about the people they spend 8 hours a day with is not indicative of an issue per-se.

Pollycat

Fireflyaway wrote: »

My understanding is a work wife / husband is just a light hearted phrase referring to someone you spend a lot of time with at work, particularly if they try to organize you etc. One of my team members refers to a young lady from another team as his work wife! They always ask each other for help and she jokingly tells him off. They always have lunch together etc. They are both very young and single and she is gay anyway. It's just a funny thing they do.
It does seem though that a work place would be a natural place to flirt / start an affair because you are together all day. I know my husband will see slim attractive woman in his office. They will be dressed nice and wearing make up and on best behaviour, then he comes home to me whose bare faced, tired and wearing pajamas! It's just life.
I would feel uneasy if the same woman was mentioned all the time.
No amount of worry can prevent an affair so try not to get too consumed. I'd talk to your husband if you have concerns. I read something recently that said confronting suspicions may be the best way to prevent it going further.

I've read this thread and the other 2 which were deleted.
The OP has spoken to her husband and he's been dismissive and disrespectful by saying she's being stupid (which I don't see as a good sign):

Emily1968 wrote: »

Well ill see him next for the day on Sunday and im going to speak again. he just says and im being stupid and "everyone has a work spouse" hence I kind of got hooked on that term as I hadnt heard of it and felt out of touch maybe

I think I asked on one of the other threads if this taking his phone to the loo and having a lock on it was a recent thing or if he's always done it.

Also, I wonder if he's changed his habits - upping his personal grooming etc.

2 possible signs of an affair.

Marvel1

Emily1968 wrote: »

Well ill see him next for the day on Sunday and im going to speak again. he just says and im being stupid and "everyone has a work spouse" hence I kind of got hooked on that term as I hadnt heard of it and felt out of touch maybe

He has hardly going to admit to having an affair - personal experience.

Marvel1

Emily1968 wrote: »

at the moment he has it stuck to him even going to the loo. I havent asked outright to read it but he has a lock on anyway because of the kids but I will be doing.

If he has never taken it to the loo before - again this is a sign.

Also as a your wife, why not tell you the password? Can understand the children part.

NeilCr

cjdavies wrote: »

Also as a your wife, why not tell you the password? Can understand the children part.

I think this depends a bit on how you, as a couple, work. We never look at each other's phones and have no desire to do so. If one of us, suddenly, wanted the other one's password, it would be weird and we'd immediately wonder why.

And, okay, you can pull the I haven't got my phone with me trick. But, because of child and grandchild issues my OH always has her mobile close by.

MothballsWallet

Our local radio station's breakfast show is presented by a man and a woman: they've worked together for a long time on it, so people they meet in the street will often ask them if they're married.

They'll sometimes call each other their "on air spouse".

selement

I've heard this term. I think most memorably for me on Greys Anatomy - 2 characters not even slightly romantically interested in each other but always looking out for each other (Bailey and Webber).

I don't have a work husband. My work bestie is female so maybe she is my work wife! Or does it not work that way if you are straight (I'm female too)?

If my husband had a work wife I think I'd feel slightly odd about it because I am slightly the paranoid type, but I wouldn't assume he's having an affair. Its not unusual for us to take our phones to the bathroom with us and we don't have kids. It isn't unusual for us to have them locked. I only time I ever would try to access his phone is if hes driving and he wants me to change song or contact someone (and then I have to ask his pass word even though hes told me before I just do it so infrequently I forget).

I'd meet this woman for dinner, if they are just friends perhaps you can all be friends. If they are more perhaps you will pick up on that.

Mojisola

selement wrote: »

I don't have a work husband. My work bestie is female so maybe she is my work wife! Or does it not work that way if you are straight (I'm female too)?

It still does - I know straight, married women who call their female training buddies their 'running wife' and 'gym wife'.

panagia

NeilCr wrote: »

On the other much missed (!) thread I seem to recall there was an invitation to the "work wifes" for dinner.

Pollycat wrote: »

It sounds odd (to me) that she would invite you for dinner and drinks eighty mile away when you've never met before.
But maybe that's just me.

I didn't see the other thread but I think this is stretching credibility slightly. A work spouse who lives 80 miles away, so an 160 mile round trip to see a woman he is supposedly secretly seeing behind the OPs back :think:

martinbuckley wrote: »

If you want to avoid trolls, then don't post questions on a public message board.

I'm starting to wonder who is trolling whom, to be honest with you. And with that I shall bow out of this thread.