husbands left me

virgin_moneysaver

so sorry to hear of your situation - the only practical advice I can give is concerning your bank account - you say you are overdrawn but if the bank don't know there is a dispute between you he could go in & draw funds up to the maximum of your limit & do a runner, you would still be held liable for the full amount, so be careful with the account - if you inform them that there is a dispute then they'll put a 'stop' on the account & only pay the necessary bills (mortgage etc) until the dispute is resolved i.e parties both signing to remove one name from account or confirming that the dispute no longer exists - hope your situation improves soon

Leo267

So sorry to hear about this. I agree with anguk though about not letting him come round whenever he wants to and take whatever he wants. My first live in gf did this to me... kept 'dropping by' for a chat and to see how I was coping etc and I was so grateful she came to see me and she seemed uncertain about whether or not she really wanted to split so I was more than willing to give her any of our possessions she wanted. Bit by bit she took everything of value and then, lo and behold, decided she definitely did want to split and it was permenant. I was left with nothing but debts.

Why don't you tell him he can have the kids computer and you and the kids keep the better one? If he really isn't sure about this and thinks it might be a mistake and he just needs a bit of breathing space why does he need to take anything from you at all? My guess is he's trying it out to see if he enjoys being on the grass at the other side or not. If he prefers it there he'll stay (along with all your possessions he fancies) but if it isn't so 'green' in reality he'll come back to you. Please, please value yourself enough not to be 'standby' in case he doesn't like being on his own after all!

Make sure you open a bank account in your own name (if you haven't already got one) and get your salary plus child benefit paid into your own account from now on.

Good luck and take care of yourself.

ampersand

Leo267 wrote: »

So sorry to hear about this. I agree with anguk though about not letting him come round whenever he wants to and take whatever he wants. My first live in gf did this to me... kept 'dropping by' for a chat and to see how I was coping etc and I was so grateful she came to see me and she seemed uncertain about whether or not she really wanted to split so I was more than willing to give her any of our possessions she wanted. Bit by bit she took everything of value and then, lo and behold, decided she definitely did want to split and it was permenant. I was left with nothing but debts.

Why don't you tell him he can have the kids computer and you and the kids keep the better one? If he really isn't sure about this and thinks it might be a mistake and he just needs a bit of breathing space why does he need to take anything from you at all? My guess is he's trying it out to see if he enjoys being on the grass at the other side or not. If he prefers it there he'll stay (along with all your possessions he fancies) but if it isn't so 'green' in reality he'll come back to you. Please, please value yourself enough not to be 'standby' in case he doesn't like being on his own after all!

Make sure you open a bank account in your own name (if you haven't already got one) and get your salary plus child benefit paid into your own account from now on.

Good luck and take care of yourself.

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I'm sorry you went through this, Leo267.
I want to highlight this bit from your very sound advice for Jamangie:
Please, please value yourself enough not to be 'standby' in case he doesn't like being on his own after all!