husbands left me

Gillianh2

))))))))))))))))HUGS))))))))))))))))))))

I know this is difficult for you and can understand that the kids still want to go to Devon. As it is all booked it might be worth going/ Giving you space away from the house and looking at "his" chair etc; The break would give you a breathing space whilst you gather your thoughts and try to make plans.
Please do check your finances and if neccessary empty the bank account before you go. You will need financial security to help you thru.

You will come thru this I know it doesnt feel like it at the moment. Have you got a friend or relative who you could take along to Devon with you?
Please keep posting.
Will be thinking of you.

))))))))))))))))))))))))HUGS))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

kisto

Big, big hugs Jamangie.

It'll be hard for you to believe it now, but you will get through this. You *CAN* cope.

As others have said, dealing with the practical side is what helped me keep going. It gives you small steps to focus on and is a welcome distraction to the inner turmoil and pain. To deal with the emotional side I kept a diary which I wrote when I went to bed. Take everything day by day.

Here's some sites and information to help you with the practical issues:

http://www.entitledto.co.uk/ - This site helps you see what benefits you may be entitled to.

Tax Credits
http://taxcredits.direct.gov.uk/circumstances.html
TEL: 0845 300 3900
You need to notify them ASAP regarding your change of circumstances otherwise you may find yourself in the unfortunate position of an overpayment.

Financial Independence - If you don't already have a sole bank account I would apply for one now so that you can take control of your finances.

Citizens Advice - http://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/
You can find your local office on this site and they will be able to offer you loads of advice.

Divorce/Separation - http://www.divorce.co.uk/
Although it might be too painful to think about divorce right now, it is always good to prepare yourself if that is the route you choose to go down. This site also gives advice on separation.

For the kids - http://www.itsnotyourfault.org/
This site provides information for kids and parents on dealing with separation.

Housing - If you are in a rented property you will probably need to let the landlord know. I am not sure what needs to happen if the property is mortgaged.

Council Tax - You might be entitled to a single occupancy discount.

Single Parents
http://www.singleparents.org.uk/
http://www.gingerbread.org.uk/
http://www.lone-parents.org.uk/

Look after yourself and take care. Keep your family and friends close to you as you'll need the support.

affordmylife

Sweetheart I am so sorry that you are feeling this pain.

You have four brilliant reasons to survive - take them to Devon be strong and love them.

You five will have an unbreakable bond forever.

It will get better. Lean on the kids - they are not babies. Draw strength from each other.

You will get through this time.

There will come a day that you will thank him for doing this. It is better to be alone than to be with someone that doesnt want to be with you.

Be kind to yourself. Take care.

Oh and good luck. We are all here for you.

suzysue_2

affordmylife.
I have tears in my eyes after that.

Jamangie take all the advice on here then do what you want.

Your children will give you incredible strength and you can do this no matter how desperate you feel right now.

More hugs XXXX

Jamangie

thank you all so much it does help reading your kind replies.
i'm just sitting here numb not knowing what to do i feel so sick.
i might take the kids to devon tomorrow i dont think i can face it today

Toto

I have to say I agree with emptying the bank account, you might not want to think about stuff like money right now, so it's our job to do it for you. Get any cash you can now, then you'll at least be able to provide for the kids while everything else is being sorted.

Do you feel that hubby might just need a break for a few days? Does he have any unusual stress right now? Maybe even something you don't know about? Can you talk with him? I do hope things work out for you, keep talking to us here too, many of us have been through this sort of situation so really understand.

mae

I am sorry this has happened to you and your children. I know its all very raw at the moment and hopefully this thread will keep helping you.

Also maybe you could use this thread to set some goals to keep you going. Nothing major as I know it will take too much effort just now but maybe small goals like making any relevant phone calls etc as unfortunately ordinary life has to go on and there are things that will need doing and if you let these pile up things will seem heavier on your shoulders.

Baby steps are the way to go to try and keep some order in the lives of you and your children which will give you a little breathing space to deal with the very dificult emotional side of a break up.

Sorry to post only practical advice when you are feeling so upset and low. I'm glad this thread is helping and as others have said draw from the love and strength of your children. If you feel up to Devon tomorrow try and draw strength from the fresh air, the beautiful things around you and your children.

Take care x

ampersand

Yes, Jamangie, DO go to Devon and change locks on house before you go.
Use this afternoon to get to the CAB.
I won't repeat what so many others are advising and hugging you with here.
This is an 'arms around you' empathy forum and we're ALL here.

suzysue_2

Hiya, please do what the others have said and get some legal advice today if at all possible. If you have a joint account then get the money out of there, you don't know what your husband is thinking and may beat you to it.
After the shock, I promise you you'll find amazing strength from somewhere.
Go to Devon and help each other over the next few days...we'll all be here when you get back.
XXX

affordmylife

Thanks suzysue - can you tell Ive been there!

Keep strong Jamangie and keep posting we will support you all the way.

And yes get some money if there is some.