husbands left me

cazziebo

Jamangie wrote: »

suzysue I know you are right about the eating my son has got me some complan to drink because i cant eat it would make me sick I am already underweight due to the stress of his depression.

I'm one of them people who cant eat if i'm stressed i have this awful knot in my stomach
I am feeling a bit better tonight but i dont think it will last i think the wine has helped.
I'm 40 and on my own with 4 kids a stressful full time job and all my dreams are over

No they're not!! Just different dreams for you in the future...

Do you have a sympathetic employer? How are the kids taking it?

I was like you and my weight went from 10 to just over 6 stone... I hate seeing photos of myself at that time (split up the same year as my brother, sister, best friend and cousin got married! I'm the one in the photographs with the size 12 clothes and size 0 body!) I got two great bits of advice

First keep a diary so you can see how you get better every day. Even on black days (and there will be many) you can look back and see how far you've come. Maybe this thread will do that for you.

Second - plan little treats for yourself. I understand money is tight but will a friend look after your children so you could plan some me time in say - 2 weeks time? Go for coffee and a cake, or take a book to a park. Invest in yourself.

You're showing great strength and presence of mind here - you will get through this.

XXX

Chollita

I was left to cope alone with my ex's depression, and it's an awful strain. It seems to be overlooked how it affects families and partners.

You will survive. And in time you will be happy again. In the meantime, as well as following the suggestions above, if you have trouble getting motivated to do things, set yourself tasks for each day. If you are having trouble eating, try easy things like soup, pasta, yogurt. You won't be doing yourself any good if you're malnourished!

And give yourself time to recover - you're in shock.

dizzy_lizzie

Just want to send hugs too. Take care.
Luv x

suzysue_2

Jamangie your dreams are not over, your head is just so full right now it's hard to see anything beyond the trauma you’re going through.
There is no time limit to what your going through, some of us manage to go on auto pilot and do things, while I sat in a corner and cried for days, I never thought in a million yrs I would be able to function normally again, of course I did and became a far more confident and happy person at the end of it.

As for food, I lost a stone over night, even though I was only 7st ish to start with. Stick with the complan even though that is hard to swallow, at least you'll be getting some vitamins.
Thinking of you.
XXX

nicky7175

Just wanted to say thinking of you and hope you are ok. have pm'd you a message to say hi aswell.

tru

Jamangie, how are feeling today?

Hope you managed to get some sleep

Lady_E

I have got to echo what has been said already about getting the finances sorted out with the Cab, tax credits etc. It maybe he cannot cope with the stress of providing for a family and needs to "run away" and take cover. At this point, the family is priority and that includes you. Let today be "sort out money day" and like another poster said give yourself a goal everyday. I promise,hand on heart, it will get better and you can do it . Practical issues are a good way to channel your emotions initially, as soon as you feel ready you can then deal with the ache inside .

Keep posting , hugs to you .

joathome

Just read this thread and my heart goes out to you many years ago I was in the same position but believe me it will get better and every day you will feel stronger take comfort in the fact that you are already a very strong woman I wish you the very best for the future
Jo x

Jamangie

thank you again everyone.
I did get some sleep in fits and starts. When i woke up this morning that knot and sick feeling was still there.
I lay in bed not wanting to get up because getting up meant i had to face it all again today.
I am going to have a money sort out day i think that is keeping me focussed but i'm finding it hard to do anything i will have to force myself to do housework i think

thanks for all your support it really is helping

full-time-mum

Jamangie wrote: »

t
He's been round today to see the kids I dont know where he's staying he said he was sure yesterday and now he's confused again and thinks he might be being hasty.

Would it be worth contacting relate - I believe they help families split amicably as well as helping them stay together.