An update on me

svain

Red-Squirrel wrote: »

I think there are some people who take such joy in being horrible about overweight people and berating them about it because they are the only socially acceptable target these days. A few decades ago they'd have been bashing gays, foreigners, ethnic minorities, disabled people, women etc. but they can't do that now without showing themselves up for the nasty piece of work they are, so it has to be fat people. .

Except the glaringly obvious difference is that being overweight is a lifestyle choice (in most cases) and a drain on the NHS .... Your examples are not.

To compare them is just diluting the seriousness of racism, sexism, homophobia and ableism

dekaspace

svain wrote: »

Except the glaringly obvious difference is that being overweight is a lifestyle choice (in most cases), and a drain on the NHS .... Your examples are not.

To compare them is just diluting the seriousness of racism, sexism, homophobia and ableism

Thats like saying choosing to drive to work/corner shop etc is a lifestlye choice, because they can walk or use public transport

Point of me saying that is what isn't a lifestyle choice by comparison, and you are overgeneralising the "drain" part.

calleyw

dekaspace wrote: »

It was also the fallout, they lost custody of their newborn child as the maternal grandparents didn't like my family (snobs is putting it lightly) my family had chinese whispers saying we did it because being on benefits meant we were in a gang basically, and on drugs, had no intention of working etc, and long term family friends shunned us even though it wasn't my portion of the family related.

Walking down the street and having people say "thats that guy from the family that murdered that girl" or whispers again like we were all in a gang, on drugs, criminals never out of jail etc.

The maternal grandparents would leave us nasty voicemessages saying they knew we were involved too, but police ignored it.

Sorry to bring back your own memories, a few people I know from school died too, some from drugs, some from accidents but I wasn't that close to them.

I don't really understand most of the above as its not making much sense.

You really had people come up to you on the street and say that to you? I find that hard to believe.

Again rather than distance yourself from the whole thing you seem to keep repeating the same things. I know I have read about this before.

Growing up in poverty or having disability does not have to hold you back. So lets take those off the table for the time being.

It seems that you have kept these two things going around and around in your head. And neither directly involved you. I get it upset and hurt you. As the saying goes not my circus not my monkeys.

But you grieve and move on. Maybe its the autism but you don't want to seem to do that. As in the words of the song from frozen let it go. You have already wasted 20 years dwelling on it. What good has that done you? None.

You have access to services from uni and college and don't use them. And then say with counseling you could have got better. Did you not think to seek help when you where working and pay for private counseling sessions?

You say in another post you are lonely. Find an on-line forum for like minded people. You can then talk to others who have the same issues. Or phone Samaritans they are not just there for suicidal people but all people who needed to talk. There phone number is 116 123 and its free.

I personally don't think there is much good to be had from keep churning the same thing over and over again and letting it rule your life for so long.

As I have already said cut out toxic people. You are better off being on your own then dealing with people like that. They sap your energy.

Good luck

Yours

Calley x

svain

dekaspace wrote: »

Thats like saying choosing to drive to work/corner shop etc is a lifestlye choice, because they can walk or use public transport

Point of me saying that is what isn't a lifestyle choice by comparison, and you are overgeneralising the "drain" part.

The comparison is still flawed

dekaspace

calleyw wrote: »

I don't really understand most of the above as its not making much sense.

You really had people come up to you on the street and say that to you? I find that hard to believe.

Yes, but bear in mind I am from a smaller town (well population of around 30 thousand but its a old fashioned town)

Didn't help the local press was sensationalising it, not lying but missing out important information like stating he was arrested then released (as is the norm) mentioned he was arrested and didn't seem shocked, mentioned he was seen in public with scratches on his arm (from family dog which they knew) and stirring things like saying he was on benefits, this gave the social work an excuse to keep him from his child and my side of family, cousins, aunts, uncles none of us were allowed near the child.

There was also of course people who didn't realise I was related and talking about the local murder so I had to put up with that.

And now this next bit really did happen, he came to me when he was in grief and we went for a drink (he did turn to drink) we saw off duty policemen who came up to us and threatened us and said they knew my relative was involved, and if the evidence didn't exist to say he did they would make it up, all this because they got in trouble for twisting statements from family and friends which was reported higher up in fact he turned up on my doorstep a few nights a week wanting to drink even though at the time I had no money when I say no money I was lucky if I found 20p down side of sofa and had a few slices of bread in cupboard.

His own friends abandoned him, my own parents because they were related lost what work they had my mother used to work for a local disability group part time but they refused to take her back, the small village she lived in started spreading rumours and people didn't want to be seen with my parents.

And I literally did have bad flatmates, first a bi polar one smashing the walls, then a schizophrenic one who would argue with himself after taking legal highs and throw his furniture about, another bi polar flatmate who used to turn up at my door and bring me down, sometimes even getting agressive (as he inhaled gas from deoderants) illegal eviction twice in 3 months, drug dealing neighbour whos clients stole everything from me.

Going back the issues I had growing up made me a late developer but it was the death that messed me up as it was so severe.

Red-Squirrel_2

Izadora wrote: »

If someone's having 3 meals a day and no snacks then surely a third of your daily calories for one of those meals is pretty much spot on?

Also if dekaspace is a tall adult male then 1470 calories a day is nowhere near enough!

dekaspace

Red-Squirrel wrote: »

Also if dekaspace is a tall adult male then 1470 calories a day is nowhere near enough!

Im about 6 feet tall lol, hard to tell exact but give or take a inch.

Ames

Aren't the recommended calories 2000 for men and 1500 for women?

Red-Squirrel_2

Ames wrote: »

Aren't the recommended calories 2000 for men and 1500 for women?

About 2500 for men and 2000 for women. That's to maintain weight, so a drop would be needed to lose weight, but not a drop of more than 1000 every day!

seven-day-weekend

I'm sorry Dekaspace and don't mean to be unkind, but you seem to mix with some awful people. Don't you ever meet anyone pleasant, and kind, and fun? Why are there these awful people in your life all the time>