An update on me

Red-Squirrel_2

I think there are some people who take such joy in being horrible about overweight people and berating them about it because they are the only socially acceptable target these days. A few decades ago they'd have been bashing gays, foreigners, ethnic minorities, disabled people, women etc. but they can't do that now without showing themselves up for the nasty piece of work they are, so it has to be fat people.

Dekaspace, people with learning disabilities are often targeted by bullies, and a part of this is that they sometimes don't deal with it well and make the situation worse without meaning to. I think this is what's happening. The kids wouldn't say those things to an adult male who didn't have autism and mental health issues, I guarantee it. I remember you saying you have been referred to get a social worker, I would definitely speak to them about this issue, for now, avoid all contact at all with these boys. If you see them, just turn around and walk away.

dekaspace

Tabbytabitha wrote: »

But that isn't true because in your next post you say " (my) weight makes my mental health worse".

On one level you appreciate a major source of your problems but on another you deny it - perhaps that could be a useful motivator for you.

Thats looking at something in a certain context, my weight doesn't give me any physical reason for being treated, it just makes me feel "worse" because I feel less attractive losing weight won't cure my mental health at most when I had a bad day I will if anything be lazy as I could let something slide, I need a treatment for mental health that means if I do feel bad I can cope which then means I can lose weight without feeling over anxious and when I have a day day not slip back into old habits.

Its mental issues I have that bleed into other things, when I was slim if I had a bad day I could just think, that at least I was slim and people would be attracted to me, if I gained a few pounds they were easy to shift by going to the gym and as I say the majority of the weight gain occured due to university and my mental health state, by time I left that course I already gained almost 4 stone, then moved next to another party animal, then next to a drug dealer, then next to an alcoholic I wouldn't say thats necessarily me having worst luck but just bad luck coincidences and due to the state of mind I had unable to improve whilst things got worse as every improvement was ruined by something like being kept awake to say 2am by neighbours when I had to be up 7am and I would be almost faint so either sleep in or attend college/training course and get bad grades and be asked to leave a vicious cycle.

And its frustrating that people ignore what I have done rather than focus on what I have, considering what I have gone through its a miracle I am doing anything, it was me who wanted those sleep apnea tests, it was me that stopped drinking sugary drinks, it was me that changed my sleep best I can, it was me who changed my diet, it was me who pushes myself to leave the house.

mattpaint wrote: »

You know what, you're absolutely right. You have no problems whatsoever and your life is perfect.

Right?

Yawn, lazy attempt hope it makes you feel good to believe yourself better than others and get your kicks out of putting others down.

BorisThomson

dekaspace wrote: »

Thats looking at something in a certain context, my weight doesn't give me any physical reason for being treated, it just makes me feel "worse" because I feel less attractive losing weight won't cure my mental health at most when I had a bad day I will if anything be lazy as I could let something slide, I need a treatment for mental health that means if I do feel bad I can cope which then means I can lose weight without feeling over anxious and when I have a day day not slip back into old habits.

Its mental issues I have that bleed into other things, when I was slim if I had a bad day I could just think, that at least I was slim and people would be attracted to me, if I gained a few pounds they were easy to shift by going to the gym and as I say the majority of the weight gain occured due to university and my mental health state, by time I left that course I already gained almost 4 stone, then moved next to another party animal, then next to a drug dealer, then next to an alcoholic I wouldn't say thats necessarily me having worst luck but just bad luck coincidences and due to the state of mind I had unable to improve whilst things got worse as every improvement was ruined by something like being kept awake to say 2am by neighbours when I had to be up 7am and I would be almost faint so either sleep in or attend college/training course and get bad grades and be asked to leave a vicious cycle.

And its frustrating that people ignore what I have done rather than focus on what I have, considering what I have gone through its a miracle I am doing anything, it was me who wanted those sleep apnea tests, it was me that stopped drinking sugary drinks, it was me that changed my sleep best I can, it was me who changed my diet, it was me who pushes myself to leave the house.


Yawn, lazy attempt hope it makes you feel good to believe yourself better than others and get your kicks out of putting others down.

What is stopping you from losing weight now?

You acknowledge it will be good for your health and your self esteem, so what is actually stopping you?

dekaspace

BorisThomson wrote: »

What is stopping you from losing weight now?

You acknowledge it will be good for your health and your self esteem, so what is actually stopping you?

I am losing weight, as people keep missing, I have lost over 2 stone in a year (did lose 4 at one point but put some back on, lost it again, put some back on)

But do I really need to spell out again the extreme anxiety I have and how weak I feel? Im trying to get an overall balance of life right, free time, work etc rather than overdo it, I mean I don't get back from class until like 6.15pm thats going straight home and I need to be awake around 7am to get to class, imagine how extra drained I am.

Then on a day off I want to relax.

Oh and last year I was recovering from a broken arm, the damage was so bad even now when its healed I get pain, they wanted to do an op on it I was waiting till it healed as good as it can (writing with a pen/pencil is now near impossible)

People have assumed I haven't been researching going back to the gym long before I posted this, in fact I have but was trying to find a reasonable priced one, within reasonable distance and not tied into a 12 month contract, that and I know social work and local mental health charity can offer 3 month passes for free if referred.

It seems to be one of those things, I explain in detail certain things so people assume what I haven't outright mentioned I haven't attempted its one of those no win things.

With my mental health the way it is, and not me being stubborn or in the way people think just expecting me to do a extreme shock change to my lifestyle makes me feel worse as it feels like unintentinal shaming plus ignores anything else I do to improve my life, im not saying do everything at snails pace but all I need is support so I feel like things are worth it so if I get anxious I don't crack I have always been that way even in the workplace I need a lot of assurance to know im not screwing up and that relaxes me so I continue and actually outdo other people as im not anxious and I feel good about doing the item.

Tabbytabitha

BorisThomson wrote: »

What is stopping you from losing weight now?

You acknowledge it will be good for your health and your self esteem, so what is actually stopping you?

I'd think that avoiding Subway (and other fast food outlets) would be good for both his weight and his wallet, as well as keeping him out of the proximity of the yobs.

BorisThomson

dekaspace wrote: »

I am losing weight, as people keep missing, I have lost over 2 stone in a year (did lose 4 at one point but put some back on, lost it again, put some back on)

But do I really need to spell out again the extreme anxiety I have and how weak I feel? Im trying to get an overall balance of life right, free time, work etc rather than overdo it, I mean I don't get back from class until like 6.15pm thats going straight home and I need to be awake around 7am to get to class, imagine how extra drained I am.

Then on a day off I want to relax.

Oh and last year I was recovering from a broken arm, the damage was so bad even now when its healed I get pain, they wanted to do an op on it I was waiting till it healed as good as it can (writing with a pen/pencil is now near impossible)

People have assumed I haven't been researching going back to the gym long before I posted this, in fact I have but was trying to find a reasonable priced one, within reasonable distance and not tied into a 12 month contract, that and I know social work and local mental health charity can offer 3 month passes for free if referred.

It seems to be one of those things, I explain in detail certain things so people assume what I haven't outright mentioned I haven't attempted its one of those no win things.

With my mental health the way it is, and not me being stubborn or in the way people think just expecting me to do a extreme shock change to my lifestyle makes me feel worse as it feels like unintentinal shaming plus ignores anything else I do to improve my life, im not saying do everything at snails pace but all I need is support so I feel like things are worth it so if I get anxious I don't crack I have always been that way even in the workplace I need a lot of assurance to know im not screwing up and that relaxes me so I continue and actually outdo other people as im not anxious and I feel good about doing the item.

It's great to hear you're losing weight, that's a real achievement. But there are still so many excuses. You don't need a gym to do exercise, and you don't need to overdo it. Even if you start with ten minutes a day, doing videos on YouTube, that would be a big step in the right direction. You can spare ten minutes a day?

dekaspace

Tabbytabitha wrote: »

I'd think that avoiding Subway (and other fast food outlets) would be good for both his weight and his wallet, as well as keeping him out of the proximity of the yobs.

I don't go into any other fast food outlets, my subway is a £2 chicken salad flatbread. (was £3 but a promo on now)

I have been losing weight since I went in there and it stops any cravings for junk food at home.

I know its not perfect food but the one I get isn't as bad as you think, there is terrible things on the menu like bacon, sausage, steak, and fatty breads like herbs and cheese but I avoid them

So apart from the kids its a good compromise.

dekaspace

BorisThomson wrote: »

It's great to hear you're losing weight, that's a real achievement. But there are still so many excuses. You don't need a gym to do exercise, and you don't need to overdo it. Even if you start with ten minutes a day, doing videos on YouTube, that would be a big step in the right direction. You can spare ten minutes a day?

Who says I don't? I used to have gym equipment in a former flat, I go for a walk every day for example, and it wasn't me who recommended the gym and I just said I can get a free referal so it feels there the goalposts changing.

I used to use weights a lot too but got rid of them a few years back and was worried about getting them again with my arm.

Again why do people focus on only whats said?

Tabbytabitha

dekaspace wrote: »

I don't go into any other fast food outlets, my subway is a £2 chicken salad flatbread. (was £3 but a promo on now)

I have been losing weight since I went in there and it stops any cravings for junk food at home.

I know its not perfect food but the one I get isn't as bad as you think, there is terrible things on the menu like bacon, sausage, steak, and fatty breads like herbs and cheese but I avoid them

So apart from the kids its a good compromise.

Compromise between what and what?

As you say, there are worse things you could be eating but, at 490 calories that's a third of your daily calorie intake.
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/food/calories/subway-chicken-salad-flatbread-sub-6-110710306

NeilCr

dekaspace wrote: »

Who says I don't? I used to have gym equipment in a former flat, I go for a walk every day for example, and it wasn't me who recommended the gym and I just said I can get a free referal so it feels there the goalposts changing.

I used to use weights a lot too but got rid of them a few years back and was worried about getting them again with my arm.

Again why do people focus on only whats said?

I think it's because when you start a thread it's about negative things that are happening to you. Most of us try to suggest ways of improving/working with your situation and you then start to tell us about what you've done/why you can't do it. In the nicest possible way you are a moving target.

With the gym, for instance, it's not just about getting fit it's about routine/beng out of the house/maybe engaging with new people etc.

I've got to say one of the best bits of advice I've seen on this thread is at #86. I don't know whether you have read it or not but I'd say doing that would be positive. The suggestions seem to cover a lot of the issues you have voiced.