An update on me

Tabbytabitha

dekaspace wrote: »

Who says I don't? I used to have gym equipment in a former flat, I go for a walk every day for example, and it wasn't me who recommended the gym and I just said I can get a free referal so it feels there the goalposts changing.

I used to use weights a lot too but got rid of them a few years back and was worried about getting them again with my arm.

Again why do people focus on only whats said?

It's a forum, what else can people focus on except what you say?

Izadora

Tabbytabitha wrote: »

As you say, there are worse things you could be eating but, at 490 calories that's a third of your daily calorie intake.

If someone's having 3 meals a day and no snacks then surely a third of your daily calories for one of those meals is pretty much spot on?

dekaspace

NeilCr wrote: »

I think it's because when you start a thread it's about negative things that are happening to you. Most of us try to suggest ways of improving/working with your situation and you then start to tell us about what you've done/why you can't do it. In the nicest possible way you are a moving target.

With the gym, for instance, it's not just about getting fit it's about routine/beng out of the house/maybe engaging with new people etc.

I've got to say one of the best bits of advice I've seen on this thread is at #86. I don't know whether you have read it or not but I'd say doing that would be positive. The suggestions seem to cover a lot of the issues you have voiced.

A way to put it would be like bringing in post 86, I read it but as it doesn't ask questions and gets to the point I just take it in, if I don't respond thats because theres nothing to respond to but people might see it as not paying attention.

When I write a post its a form of venting to not bottle it up, its why also it may seem I am a grumpy person in general when thats the opppsite and if people get upset at me it makes me upset another vicious cycle.

And it is mildy "insulting" to someones intelligence to assume they don't know things like going to the gym, I bring up I used to go which means I have experienced going to them, I did before issues got on top of me really enjoy the gym lost a lot of weight in short period, felt more energetic, felt more attractive, it was just the first time I went to the gym I was 18 so had no attachments, loads of free time then I started getting into clubbing, and having friends so had less time and working, then when I tried to go at university you know about the flatmate issues I had, financial problems, and it was shortly after the family members death I just got down to a point it was hard to recover.

I don't want to go in the deep end but I want something which will show an improvement, id rather wait and see what the social worker and mental health charity says about going to gym to get it free which will motivate me, waiting for my sleep apnea to improve so I am less drained and more energetic and get a part time job (was offered a job but full time only) when things are sliding into place I will be more commited to improving my life.

Tabbytabitha wrote: »

Compromise between what and what?

As you say, there are worse things you could be eating but, at 490 calories that's a third of your daily calorie intake.
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/food/calories/subway-chicken-salad-flatbread-sub-6-110710306

Tabbytabitha wrote: »

It's a forum, what else can people focus on except what you say?

Look at what you wrote about, you talked about a third a day of my daily calorie intake, now this is my main food of the day so by your own admission its a third of my daily calorie intake.

Not over it.

Crafty to say "we can only go what you say" when I do put what I mean it is intenitonally or not ripped to shreds as it doesn't make sense to people, write only whats relevant and be told im missing things out.

A comment like yours even if not meant to be nasty does come across as quite loaded as it puts yourself right in the middle so no matter the way the response is you are cleared of things.

To describe it again (but then be dug into) would you rather I go to Subway or McDonalds?

Heres what I ate yesterday, 6 ginger nut biscuits, drank a cup of diet pepsi, ate a supermarket cheap frozen pizza, and had a bowl of cereal for breakfast.

Biscuits can be packed with calories and can pizza but thats not stuffing my face or anything.

I did plan to have fish but didn't want to risk it as had been in my fridge 3 days.

AndyPix

BrassicWoman wrote: »

Fat shaming kills people. If it was as easy as awareness raising and humiliating people - and there's plenty people on this thread queueing up to do that- the country would be underweight. Other studies suggest the meat/potato/dairy marketing boards,high fructose corn syrup, etc, have a lot more to do with it. And ready meals. And poverty. And family units changing. But I have yet to find a single study where fat shaming helps. Not one. Out of thousands. Find just one and I'll happily read it, the methodology, and the validity statistics.

Do you honestly not see that your behaviour is bullying and may have a severe bad impact on the vulnerable who are here for help?

Again I think discussion time is the place to debate such opinions. They were not asked for on this thread. Unsolicited advice is invariably unhelpful. That last bit is my opinion. The rest of my post is based on actual science .

Look - I let your comment go without being baited - but now you are getting too involved.
Im sorry if my suggestion touched a nerve with you, it wasnt intended to


In fact the comment wasnt directed at you at all !!


No, my advice wasnt asked for - but nor was anybody elses - read the OP.


This is a public forum, and by its nature, a post like the OP invites public comment.


My opinion is that a number of the OP's plights would be helped by going to a gym and working out.


I wasnt "fat shaming" in the slightest, simply offering a suggestion to help with health, self esteem and confidence, and a possible solution to help the OP avoid the situations that he seems to keep finding himself in.
Maybe i shouldnt have mentioned the calorie bit, but i was just expanding my point and no offence was meant.
Feel free to ignore any advice/suggestions that are not aimed at yourself - and please remember that my opinion is just as valid as yours in an open discussion.


What is your opinion on the OP by the way ? I havent seen it yet
Do you have anything meaningful to add rather than slating other peoples opinions :huh:

NeilCr

dekaspace wrote: »

A way to put it would be like bringing in post 86, I read it but as it doesn't ask questions and gets to the point I just take it in, if I don't respond thats because theres nothing to respond to but people might see it as not paying attention.

When I write a post its a form of venting to not bottle it up, its why also it may seem I am a grumpy person in general when thats the opppsite and if people get upset at me it makes me upset another vicious cycle.

And it is mildy "insulting" to someones intelligence to assume they don't know things like going to the gym, I bring up I used to go which means I have experienced going to them, I did before issues got on top of me really enjoy the gym lost a lot of weight in short period, felt more energetic, felt more attractive, it was just the first time I went to the gym I was 18 so had no attachments, loads of free time then I started getting into clubbing, and having friends so had less time and working, then when I tried to go at university you know about the flatmate issues I had, financial problems, and it was shortly after the family members death I just got down to a point it was hard to recover.

I don't want to go in the deep end but I want something which will show an improvement, id rather wait and see what the social worker and mental health charity says about going to gym to get it free which will motivate me, waiting for my sleep apnea to improve so I am less drained and more energetic and get a part time job (was offered a job but full time only) when things are sliding into place I will be more commited to improving my

I think the point about #86 is that someone took trouble to write that and they provided a different slant. Most of us don't want thanks but an acknowledgement to that poster wouldn't have gone amiss. Even just adding your thanks to the 11 others would have been a nice gesture

I don't think suggesting a gym is an insult to intelligence. Different people have different outlooks and often haven't considered a particular course of action.

In the end you know your story, we don't. So, some things that are obvious to you - because you know what has happened - we know nothing about. I have the same issue with my advice work. I have to slow clients down because they know all the ins and outs - I am catching up

dekaspace

NeilCr wrote: »

I think the point about #86 is that someone took trouble to write that and they provided a different slant. Most of us don't want thanks but an acknowledgement to that poster wouldn't have gone amiss. Even just adding your thanks to the 11 others would have been a nice gesture

I don't think suggesting a gym is an insult to intelligence. Different people have different outlooks and often haven't considered a particular course of action.

In the end you know your story, we don't. So, some things that are obvious to you - because you know what has happened - we know nothing about. I have the same issue with my advice work. I have to slow clients down because they know all the ins and outs - I am catching up

Suggesting a gym isn't a insult, but if I give reasons why its not for me then those reasons are looked at for fault then its somewhat a insult theres a fine line between advice and just looking for a reason (even unintentionally)

My past experience is that I intend to thank in bulk, but if things get heated I often forget.

Tabbytabitha

[QUOTE=Izadora;74050090]If someone's having 3 meals a day and no snacks then surely a third of your daily calories for one of those meals is pretty much spot on?[/QUOTE]

That's a big "if".:)

dekaspace

Tabbytabitha wrote: »

That's a big "if".:)

So that is just another answer aimed at either way a response goes it can be dragged on whilst you can be cleared of any.

And by the way my diet is the "if" I have to refrain from describing it as it will end up a endless point as if I claim X you may claim that doesn't sound right so I would describe it further.

Endless as i say.

Tabbytabitha

dekaspace wrote: »

So that is just another answer aimed at either way a response goes it can be dragged on whilst you can be cleared of any.

And by the way my diet is the "if" I have to refrain from describing it as it will end up a endless point as if I claim X you may claim that doesn't sound right so I would describe it further.

Endless as i say.

That wasn't an answer, that was a reply to another poster's comment, not yours.

dekaspace

Tabbytabitha wrote: »

That wasn't an answer, that was a reply to another poster's comment, not yours.

But the way it reads is a careful comment meant to imply negativity hence the "if" may not of been your intention but that is how it easily reads.

By saying "if" it hints at it won't happen therefore negative.