An update on me

dekaspace

mattpaint wrote: »

I don't know what you spend. All I know is that you spend so much time in them that you end up frequently fighting with children.

People are trying to give you advice, but it seems you want to be the victim in everything.

No you just want to be the only voice in anything.

I have had TWO arguments with kids in a eating establishment in my lifetime, you call that "frequently fighting" I have been going to that establishment for 18 months most days and this is only now a problem, and haven't had a problem since.

Typical of you to hide behind the "advice" line when you didn't give advice you gave an opinion.

Other people have given advice.

dekaspace

Pollycat wrote: »

Dekaspace - I'd like to ask you if you are getting anything positive out of this thread?

So far theres only two people that are causing problems, tabbytabitha though she thinks she is being helpful, mattpaint who is more judging.

Originally I was going to ask to close it a few days ago but the tone changed, but the same two posters like to stir things up a little.

seven-day-weekend

dekaspace wrote: »

No you just want to be the only voice in anything.

I have had TWO arguments with kids in a eating establishment in my lifetime, you call that "frequently fighting" I have been going to that establishment for 18 months most days and this is only now a problem, and haven't had a problem since.

Typical of you to hide behind the "advice" line when you didn't give advice you gave an opinion.

Other people have given advice.

Most people have none.

This is what people are trying to tell you, that your life is full of negativity and many people have suggested ways you could get more positivity into it. They are trying to help you.

Ames

mattpaint wrote: »

Neither of those will help you. Instead of spending £7 on a takeaway, you could go to Waitrose and buy two poached salmon fillets, a vegetable steamer bag and a couple of potatoes enough to make two full nutrient rich meals that take minutes to prepare.

Imagine what you could get from Aldi, or another cheaper supermarket.

Changing your diet to include a lot more fresh produce will improve your health no end.

That's not far off what my shopping bag was today from Waitrose. I find it's cheaper than Tesco because there's less temptation to buy junk.

I find if I eat loads of veg I binge less. Waitrose do big microwave pots of veg with a few different types, so I'm not stuck facing the same three veg every night for a week but get a wide variety. When I eat lots of veg I have more energy and concentration.

I find that eating lots of carbs, especially bread and pasta, makes me sluggish and tired, I end up getting into a bad cycle of sugar spikes and lows. It's definitely the worst for me as far as weight loss goes, I'm surprised that dekaspace finds that's what works for him, but if it does then fine.

Although due to my own mental health problems it doesn't take much to tip me over into eating rubbish again.

Pollycat

dekaspace wrote: »

So far theres only two people that are causing problems, tabbytabitha though she thinks she is being helpful, mattpaint who is more judging.

Originally I was going to ask to close it a few days ago but the tone changed, but the same two posters like to stir things up a little.

I just wanted to check that you were OK and not feeling bombarded.
I do think you've had a couple of good suggestions about exercising that you might think about taking up.
Maybe you can get the free gym sessions sorted out.

dekaspace

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

Most people have none.

This is what people are trying to tell you, that your life is full of negativity and many people have suggested ways you could get more positivity into it. They are trying to help you.

The point is though I haven't disregarded it, its just the way I come across online, its not helping to dig into what I say to find anything that can be seen as a contradiction, and its ok to give some suggestions but if somethings already been explained at least once then giving what someone thinks is advice,

Mattpaint has on more than one occasion wrote heated comments

If most people have no arguments with kids then I don't think they are being truthful or noticing things around them, I have seen many things even this year alone where people have been angry with kids, theres a reason why kids are banned in the local fast food places around here and many shops (stealing, giving abuse to staff etc)

I have said in the past, its not that my life is full of negativity its that only certain parts I talk about are the negative parts which gives that impression, I have my parents visiting next week, I saw a friend I havent seen in 8 years last week, I have been shortlisted for a good job I have a interview for Friday morning, I have lost a few stone in past 12 months, my diet is better.

But even if I did mention those that would take a line or two, I always find something like "today I went for a walk" as a response as a waste of time as it feels just bumping a thread for no reason.

Ames

I think if you did post that 'today I went for a walk' or other positive update then you'd get lots of encouraging replies. I think Seven Day Weekend is right, that your negative attitude gets in the way and makes you assume that you'll be picked on. It's really hard to stop thoughts hurtling down the negative spiral - there's evolutionary reasons for that - but if you can at least acknowledge that the negative thoughts might not be accurate then it's a huge step forward.

I don't think most people do have arguments with teenagers. I live in a very, very rough area, and I have mental health problems. I've never had a problem with the local teenagers. In fact I've been surprised many times by how polite they are (especially in the chippie). I think this goes back to where we were pages back - that you're doing or saying something without being aware of it that makes them see you as a target.

Have you thought about asking someone who knows you well and can be honest, like someone on here suggested?

dekaspace

Ames wrote: »

I think if you did post that 'today I went for a walk' or other positive update then you'd get lots of encouraging replies. I think Seven Day Weekend is right, that your negative attitude gets in the way and makes you assume that you'll be picked on. It's really hard to stop thoughts hurtling down the negative spiral - there's evolutionary reasons for that - but if you can at least acknowledge that the negative thoughts might not be accurate then it's a huge step forward.

I don't think most people do have arguments with teenagers. I live in a very, very rough area, and I have mental health problems. I've never had a problem with the local teenagers. In fact I've been surprised many times by how polite they are (especially in the chippie). I think this goes back to where we were pages back - that you're doing or saying something without being aware of it that makes them see you as a target.

Have you thought about asking someone who knows you well and can be honest, like someone on here suggested?

And neither do I, but I keep going back to these being one offs just esclated by the fact the first time was when they were all heavily drinking and looking for trouble in all the years I have anxiety or been a little different I never got more or much more than the average person I saw the kids once since and just blanked them

The kids in my area do seem to be quite vicious though, both times we had snow since Christmas they were going to passing by buses and throwing large slabs of snow some with heavy stones in, and they are banned from certain shops and McDonalds and KFC they are banned totally because of assaulting staff and trashing the property, I saw them walk past someone with severe learning difficulties before (not same ones that bother me) calling the person freak, how they should of been killed before they were born, seen teenage girls harass a black woman locally.

Just like its not that I have a negative attitude but I honestly only write about the negative to get it out of my system, I mean if its a day off and I sat on computer all day and just watched tv all I could write is "sat down and was on computer all day", if im having a "bad day" or some annoyance I will write about it

And I already know as was told by family and friends years ago, its my body language (this was before we found out I am autistic) Other people I knew at university who were training to be teachers picked up on it instantly too even a lecturer who was a ex school teacher after class spoke to me one and went "don't mean to be rude, but I think you may be autistic" (well can't remember exact words but that was base of it)

I basically have a somewhat slouched body language and a nervous smile and cannot look people in eye right (anxiety/autism) which before the days when autism was known/accepted well I used to get called strange/weirdo even at school.

Thats why in past it has frustrated me on here before, its not like I go by everyday expecting to be given abuse, if anything its because the times I do are such a shock to the system though I am aware I am different

Never had any problems on my estate despite it being roughest part of town I mean they even found needles in a park 2 minutes walk from my house a few years ago. amd my neighbour has said she found needles in our shared back garden, even a few years ago when I lived next to a school when I had issues with that neighbour in a different block jamming door open I found schoolkids sitting smoking and eating their lunch in the stairway I said they cant sit there, but I will let it if they don't smoke, all but one was polite (and the one that wasn't muttered under his breath)

I even got no trouble on the few times I have been asked to buy someone drink and tobacco as said I not risking it.

Yes I feel low all the time but thats different than being negative, if I was truly negative I would think there is no future, would drink my worries away or take drugs, I would sleep all day, not go to college or volunteer etc.

I just feel I am not achiveing what I am capable of due to exhaustion, stress, anxiety.

pollyanna_26

I've only just noticed this thread deckaspace . I think a positive comment in a post as you've just mentioned would add a little balance to all the negatives .

I read something on one of your more recent threads about the neighbours which worried me . You spoke of feeling like smashing up your furniture . That is a pretty extreme reaction .

I don't know if you ever read back on your threads . I've just looked and there have been a lot of recent ones . You've posted about DWP lying . A bus driver stealing your pass . The neighbours . Various children causing problems . The post office not delivering mail and other issues .

I feel things are now out of control and nothing will improve without effective intervention .

You mention being given a social worker . I think it would help if they were aware of all these threads , they give a clear picture of the problem .

If you want your life to improve you need to find a way out of the loop you are now in . It reads as though everyone is against you .

I'm aware the autism can lead to negative perception .

I'm not speaking of the weight issue . I don't feel things will improve there until you have better coping skills .

When we have spoken in the past I've mentioned developing living skills . That covers many things which appear to be lacking in your day to day life .

It's a fact that if you always do what you've always done nothing will change .

Can you answer two questions I have asked you on different threads ?
Did you contact SAMM as mentioned by both Pyxis and myself ?
When you did respond you either said you'd forgotten or were going to .
As you keep referring back to things going awry following the death of the family member . SAMM would seem to be a good starting point .

The other question is what you hope to gain by attending college ?
You've been to uni and now college so is there something that will change things in a positive way by doing so ?

Wishing you good luck with your interview .
polly

dekaspace

pollyanna_26 wrote: »

I've only just noticed this thread deckaspace . I think a positive comment in a post as you've just mentioned would add a little balance to all the negatives .

I read something on one of your more recent threads about the neighbours which worried me . You spoke of feeling like smashing up your furniture . That is a pretty extreme reaction .

I don't know if you ever read back on your threads . I've just looked and there have been a lot of recent ones . You've posted about DWP lying . A bus driver stealing your pass . The neighbours . Various children causing problems . The post office not delivering mail and other issues .

I feel things are now out of control and nothing will improve without effective intervention .

You mention being given a social worker . I think it would help if they were aware of all these threads , they give a clear picture of the problem .

If you want your life to improve you need to find a way out of the loop you are now in . It reads as though everyone is against you .

I'm aware the autism can lead to negative perception .

I'm not speaking of the weight issue . I don't feel things will improve there until you have better coping skills .

When we have spoken in the past I've mentioned developing living skills . That covers many things which appear to be lacking in your day to day life .

It's a fact that if you always do what you've always done nothing will change .

Can you answer two questions I have asked you on different threads ?
Did you contact SAMM as mentioned by both Pyxis and myself ?
When you did respond you either said you'd forgotten or were going to .
As you keep referring back to things going awry following the death of the family member . SAMM would seem to be a good starting point .

The other question is what you hope to gain by attending college ?
You've been to uni and now college so is there something that will change things in a positive way by doing so ?

Wishing you good luck with your interview .
polly

The times I felt like smashing up the funiture was not quite so literal it was more I was so angry as well as having a fever so was pouring with sweat, heart beating so fast and I was so angry but that brings to point, the feelings I have have nowhere to go I have no outlet to get them out which makes me either get upset or angry it would be like someone being so angry they want to "kill" someone, if I had magic powers I would prefer to have some way to transmit to someone how things can affect people.

The DWP assessor did put a lot of lies on the assessment like saying they did memory and spelling tests, checked me physically, and I brought antidepressants to the assessment none of which was true.

The other things were more due to the isolation, when I don't leave the house I might be anxious to leave incase something like the post arrives

I guess you mean SAMH, I keep forgetting to contact them I have the form in front of me and I leave it on the side filled in I did phone the company and they did get back to me, I did get an advocate sorted out and contacted local councellor about social work, I did last summer start that volunteer job for a local charity.

I don't think the world is against me more I feel quite fragile emotionally and if something goes wrong certain things aren't taken into account i.e people go by the norm rather than what I have been through that was original reason long ago I mentioned things like what happened to me, growing up, to a relative, the autism etc.