Self help thread. I am a widow coping getting on with it

lessonlearned

Good morning everyone...

Thank you so much for all your lovely comments about the bungalow, and sharing your own experiences. Your positivity and your stories have really boosted me. I really did feel quite low for a few days but my optimism has returned. I feel a lot more relaxed now.

I slept for an hour yesterday afternoon, dozed off and on for a couple of hours whilst trying to watch a film last evening and then slept for a full 9 hours, I must have been exhausted to sleep like that.

I guess it's hard to feel full of joire de vie when you are just plain shattered. Anyway I'm feeling much happier today. I know my son only wants the best for me but this time I'm going to ignore him....:rotfl: I. Just know this bungalow is "the one".

The only real fly in the ointment is it is right at the top of my budget so I cant just throw money at it to get the work done quickly. I will have to take my time so I don't end up overspending.

Elona.....I think we do have to be a bit more safety conscious now. Wobbling about on a bed to fit a lightbulb is ok when you are young but maybe not such a good idea now. I recently had a similar experience trying to put up a light shade. I quickly realised it wasn't a good idea...:rotfl:

Oddly enough I was looking at ladders. I was thinking of getting one of those platform ones, maybe even a small tower one. It will pay for itself if it means I can do most of the decorating myself. Tbh I've never been that great with heights.

Kittie.....you are so right. Despite my little blips I am generally one of life's optimists and I do genuinely believe in the power of positive thought, backed up with positive action.

I too was born quite poor, brought up in a Council house, forced to leave school early - like so many of our generation. But my early life did give me a strong work ethic and a burning ambition to better myself. Like so many of our generation I just rolled up my sleeves and got on with it, working my way out of poverty and building a good life.

Nothing has changed, I am still ambitious and still a good worker. I can and will build a good life.

[Deleted User]

good on you LL. I love the sound of your bungalow and that you are embracing your intuition. Have you started packing what you can? I know you have been sorting

lessonlearned

Just had brunch and enjoying my coffee. Then going to pop out and do some grocery shopping.

I have not started packing yet but I am steadily sorting stuff out, and getting rid of as much as I can. I'm aiming to tackle the cellar soon. Get rid of some bits and pieces, out of date paint etc and a few broken power tools.

I think I will get my son to go up in the loft, bring down my cases etc. I have several of those plastic storage boxes up there so I can start thinking about filling those. And of course those big plastic storage bags I bought the other day.

Then think about removing paintings and mirrors so I can fill in the holes and touch up the paint work. I think I might get the spare bed dismantled and then I can use that bedroom to store all the boxes as I pack them. That way they won't be cluttering up the rest of the house too much.

As for the rest I have decided I am going to let the movers do the packing this time.

So much to do......it's like a military operation isn't it.

The thing is it's hard to know exactly what I might need in the new house. Fortunately there is a huge shed.....actually far too big. Its dry and watertight so I can store stuff in there whilst I get organised.

I will use it for now but eventually I will replace it with something smaller, more discreet. It is actually right next to the house, a bit of a bug bear of mine. I like sheds tucked away out of my eyeline and maybe shielded by vegetation, not "in yer face" every time you look out of the window.:rotfl: The way it's positioned it's probably stealing light too, especially as it is painted a cobalt blue. Nice colour but not right next to my back windows.

It occurred to me yesterday that if I got rid of the shed then I could have a nice conservatory or sun room built at the back of the house. Although that's a project for a couple of years further down the line when I have a few more pennies to spare. The house itself has to take priority first.

Loads to think about, lots of design and decorating decisions to make. Another reason to take my time. I think I will just get it nice and clean and then live with it for a few months over the winter, getting to know it's little quirks and then make a start on the works next year.

I do think it's best to try and live with a house for a while before making too many changes. I think if you rush that's when you can make expensive mistakes.

I will be 67 by the time I move in......hopefully still time for a "5 year plan" :rotfl:

lessonlearned

pollypenny wrote: »

That bungalow sounds like a real prospect, LL. We live in a bungalow, as it was one of just three suitable properties when we were moving into this school catchment area.

It is not pokey, though p, and I suppose we are growing into it. No need to move, although the garden is too big.

Interesting what you say about the garden, this is what I have found, to get a decent sized house with good sized rooms then you have to accept the larger garden.....Fine for now but could be a problem in the future. I have walked away from several bungalows because the gardens would have been unmanageable in the long term.

This one has a fairly large garden, even bigger when I remove that line of conifers, they are stealing at least 4 Feet but on the plus side it's flat and level so I think I can make it easy to maintain in later years, especially if I do add a conservatory and move the shed.

Elona_2

LL

I agree with your comment about being careful and I did not even try to put one foot on the ladder and one on the bed as it would have been precarious. If I go to York to see a dd and it is so hot that it makes me feel exhausted I treat myself to a taxi for short distances.

I have adopted the mantra "Safety first and if it costs some money then so be it!"

I will be 67 in August and don't want to make myself old before my time but don't want to be foolish either.

I have just unpacked my weed burner and the lady who helps with the garden has been about to assemble it and use it - GRHH!!!! It is supposed to have a screw provided - and no screw is in the box. I am going to e mail the company and ask them to send the screw if they can.

Hugs to all

Elona_2

I take back the GrrH! I just looked up the order number, phoned the company and they will send out the screw tomorrow for me.

It is getting quite hot now so I have been to the post office, got some bread, eggs and milk and returned a parcel for dd. A bag of books is going with the gardening lady so I don't have to lug it to the charity shop and my bedroom is starting to look a lot better.

lessonlearned

Elona.....I'll be 67 in July......so just a month older than you. And I've no intention of becoming an old lady yet either but I admit I am more careful with my health and well being now.

Just a tad more sensible. :rotfl: but hopefully I won't lose my sense of adventure yet.

Re our kids. I think in our cases, they are just overprotective of us because they have lost their fathers and we are all they have left.

Certainly that's the case with my boys. 3 of their grandparents are gone, one has dementia and wouldn't recognise them, their dad has gone, no uncles, well one but he's a complete waste of space.:rotfl: and two aunts who are both somewhat flakey at the best of times.

I understand why they are so overprotective but I am sooooo not ready for sheltered accommodation or senior housing just yet, thank you. :rotfl:

In the film I saw the other day, the Diane Keaton character has to deal with this.....she is widowed and her two daughters want her to move into one of their basements which they have kitted out for her "safety". Needless to say she wants none of it. It really made me chuckle because I got exactly where she was coming from on that one.

God knows what my sons would think if they knew some of the ideas I have in mind, not just for the house but my plans in general. I'm keeping schtum until I'm ready to bring them to fruition. Then it will be a fait accompli......;)

Never heard of a weed burner.....when you said it I had this vision come to me of a flame thrower......lol. Anyway I'll google it. I think it's a good idea to buy labour saving gadgets if they help us remain independent.

[Deleted User]

Oh I am so much enjoying reading about your adventures, how you all manage to get through the day and LL I too would get packers but there are things I would only be happy for me to pack, like my fabrics and sewing and spinning things. I too would use a room for my large plastic boxes and suitcases


I have just come in from a massive clearout in the garden, storage boxes outside etc, all linked to kondo but it came out of the blue. I think It comes from this thread, helping to keep that oomph going and realising that all this clearing should be done well in advance. Today I also took 3 screws with rawlplugs out of walls, filled and made good and instead of feeling as though I am drifting, I feel as though today has been purposeful and it feels good

Elona_2

kittie

I got my front garden weeded yesterday and the hedge will be clipped next week so things are looking better. I got quite excited because my blue roses are beginning to bloom in the back garden and a shrub in the front that has not flowered in twenty years according to neighbours is producing an exotic looking set of flowers.

Library volunteering after lunch will take up most of the day so I am spending this morning sorting out a few bits and bobs in the bedroom and clearing up slowly, I have been jotting down notes on pieces of paper and I want to sort them out so I don't lose information. Over the last few weeks my nice big bedroom has been taken over by laundry (constantly rotating). books and magazines which I am sorting out and recycling or donating and things I have "just put down"!!!!! By Friday I want it to be cleared, polished and thoroughly vacuumed and looking like the refuge and relaxing space it should be.

Have just realised how draining it is to have lots of little things cluttering up the place and tiny jobs like replacing a clock battery etc. not getting done is nagging at me so will get those tackled as well.

Hugs to all.

[Deleted User]

blue roses, oh wow!! they sound lovely


I am just waiting for lunch to cook and it has already been a very productive day. I had some heavy work on the back garden tier 2, it is done and I have also moved big and heavy empty pots to one area, it all looks lovely, one of the best times of the year


Later I will be going upstairs and will try and do a bit of pre-packing of my sowing things and I have many. I would not want movers to dump my stuff into cardboard boxes, things like expensive scissors. I am thinking that I would arrange moving the garden pots, outbuilding and garage stuff as one load first, that is mostly already sorted and packed well enough, at least they would have a better idea of where to put them.



I am kind of glad that I have had all this time since deciding to move, I have done such a lot and made future life much easier. It is all wrapped up with the kondo thread too, with a little bit of a psychological shove from here, sometimes