Wife taking surname

Zandoni

A family with the same surname is so much nicer. Most women I know have taken their husbands name, it's much easier for the children.

downshifted

consumers_revenge wrote: »

Reading the comments today though has made me realise one thing and that's if nothing will change then probably no reason to ever get married so I'll save a fortune lol.

This did turn out to be a money saving question after all!

Not when you die. Marriage has tax advantages.

However I did wonder when I saw your first post if you were looking for an excuse not to wed.

consumers_revenge

No I always wanted to.

There's advantages financially on top too

Would have been nice for us all to have one name

But looking at the poll can't see any point now lol

Marriage would change nothing from how we are now

Zandoni

consumers_revenge wrote: »

No I always wanted to.

There's advantages financially on top too

Would have been nice for us all to have one name

But looking at the poll can't see any point now lol

Marriage would change nothing from how we are now

A poll on a forum is no way to decide. Have a look what friends and family have done, I'll bet it will be the complete opposite of the poll result.

downshifted

If marriage would change nothing, why were you even considering it?

Tabbytabitha

consumers_revenge wrote: »

As I said it may because in my mum and dads era you never saw it and deffo not the ladies surname. And db surnames were regarded as pretentious ( people probably just don't mention that bit anymore but to each their own )

I think I'm of your parents'era and many of my contemporaries kept their own names after marriage, either full time or part time. It really isn't anything new, just because it's new to you.

Cheeseface

Zandoni wrote: »

A family with the same surname is so much nicer. Most women I know have taken their husbands name, it's much easier for the children.

Nicer and easier how?

I had one child with my first husband. I changed my surname to his, and it never felt like my name. I’d spent two and half decades with my birth name, changing it felt wrong. I can’t explain why but it wasn’t me.

I reverted back as soon as I separated, when I explained it to my child, they found the whole concept of changing your name when you married unnecessary

When I got married and had a second child, I kept my birth name. Both my children have their fathers surname, so they have different names to each other and different names to me. It doesn’t effect how we feel abou each other and I don’t understand why it would be easier for my children if we had the same surname.

jackieblack

Oh for goodness sake...

Either you want to get married, or you don't. Whether or not she adopts your surname afterwards is pretty irrelevant.

If you both want to get married, get married!

If your wanting to get married is dependent upon her changing her name to yours, then plainly your 'traditional' views are more important to you than your desire to marry the woman you love, in which case you shouldn't get married.
If you don't respect your partner's opinion and her wish not to change her name you shouldn't get married.
And if you don't believe that she's committed to you and your relationship, you shouldn't get married.

But what anyone else thinks or has done is completely irrelevant. It's nothing to do with anyone but you and your partner.
Don't let the a bunch of strangers on the internet, or 'what your friends and family have done', influence you! :wall:

consumers_revenge

Zandoni wrote: »

A poll on a forum is no way to decide. Have a look what friends and family have done, I'll bet it will be the complete opposite of the poll result.

It is lol

In most cases they see a woman without the same surname ( unless for professional reasons ) as still available. Suppose that was part of the sticking point.

consumers_revenge

jackieblack wrote: »

Oh for goodness sake...

Either you want to get married, or you don't. Whether or not she adopts your surname afterwards is pretty irrelevant.

If you both want to get married, get married!

If your wanting to get married is dependent upon her changing her name to yours, then plainly your 'traditional' views are more important to you than your desire to marry the woman you love, in which case you shouldn't get married.
If you don't respect your partner's opinion and her wish not to change her name you shouldn't get married.
And if you don't believe that she's committed to you and your relationship, you shouldn't get married.

But what anyone else thinks or has done is completely irrelevant. It's nothing to do with anyone but you and your partner.
Don't let the a bunch of strangers on the internet, or 'what your friends and family have done', influence you! :wall:

Tis a fair point.

We have a home together 2 kids and 15 years under our belts. As she says a bit of paper changes nothing about how we feel.

Suppose I always wanted to be a married man to show my level of commitment to her and our relationship. But as she says it's only different on paper.