Wife taking surname

ladybabe

cant even believe someone is seeing this as an issue, i mean what century do we live in taking a husbands name is so old fashioned and was done as essentially you became the possession of your husband once married; your wife can choose whatever name she wants to be known by. I personally did not like the idea as i am not someones possession so i kept my own name my husband never questioned my decision it had nothing to do with lack of commitment on my side. I had many friends marry over the years and all but me changed their names, quite a few of these are now divorced so nothing to do with the commitment issue.

23rdian

I don't get why anyone wants to get married, especially as a man.

Number one course of divorce...

What exactly is it giving you? Is it just to please her?

Loz01

A bloke I know said this about his girlfriend, so I said "thats fine, you can have her surname instead!!" to which of course he replied "WHAT? no i dont want to change MINE!".... well it works both ways!!!!

tenchy

ladybabe wrote: »

cant even believe someone is seeing this as an issue, i mean what century do we live in taking a husbands name is so old fashioned and was done as essentially you became the possession of your husband once married; your wife can choose whatever name she wants to be known by. I personally did not like the idea as i am not someones possession so i kept my own name my husband never questioned my decision it had nothing to do with lack of commitment on my side. I had many friends marry over the years and all but me changed their names, quite a few of these are now divorced so nothing to do with the commitment issue.

It's not old fashioned. Most women do it. It makes sense, especially when you have children.

Robots

consumers_revenge wrote: »

Hi,

We have been talking about marriage recently ( weve been together for a long time and also 2 children )

Together a long time and two children doesn't suggest she's not interested IMO.

I'm a long-time divorcee and am now engaged, I don't think I'll take my partner's surname as I like my own name and identity. I feel it's outdated to expect women to take a mans surname.

unholyangel

tenchy wrote: »

It's not old fashioned. Most women do it. It makes sense, especially when you have children.

It is old fashioned.

Although I'm interested to hear your explanation on why it makes sense for a woman to change her name but not for a man to change his.

Its okay, I'll wait


Thanks heavens we're not limited to what "most women" do else we'd still belong to our husbands, have no right to enter contracts, no right to vote, our husbands could rape us or beat us without consequence etc all while being stay at home mums and reliant on our husbands for housekeeping money.

Equality is achieved by making changes, not by maintaining the status quo.

FinanciallyPerplexed

My wife kept her own name. I had absolutely no issue with it. Why should I?

It's not an issue with having children. To whom would it be? Schools, etc, don't give tuppence. My children use my name - but that was only by default.

The only person who did have an issue was my mother-in-law. At every opportunity she would tell folk 'They're married!!!'. She didn't want anyone to think we were Living In Sin. :-) My own mother was thrilled.

Meh. Sometimes you have to put people right when they make the default assumption. But then I would happily answer to my wife's name if I couldn't be bothered with correcting someone.