Can you make someone else lose weight?

Anoneemoose

Pollycat wrote: »

I do not believe I've ever posted that it was your fault that SW messed with your head.

Maybe not specifically, but you won't possibly comprehend that it was SW's fault.

I've not read the comments in the Facebook link as I don't 'do' Facebook. Here are some:

I thought about food constantly. What I was going eat next, when I could have it, how many syns I had left so I could have a treat later, planning a week's worth of meals down to the snacks I would allow myself each day, always having a stash of mugshots even though I didn't even like them much just in case I needed to grab a syn free lunch. I was obsessed with food all the bleeding time.

Then I would go bat crazy and eat ALL my treats that were supposed to be split across the week. And then I'd ruined the whole week, I couldn't "draw a line", so might as well knock myself out and start again on Monday. And it was only Tuesday! And I kept going back even though I knew it wasn't a sustainable way of life because it was all I knew and everyone raved about it, so I must be the problem. My subconscious rebelled against the plan.

Don't even get me started on eating out. That last pub meal I had whilst doing SW was revolting. The world's smallest steak, a plain jacket spud and taste-free onions that appeared to have been boiled in water. I really wanted the loaded burger and a pint.

Of course now I know that my subconscious rebelled against the plan because it knew it was a crock.

Now I can have whatever I want when I want and I have less of it as a natural consequence.

And:

Totally my entire day would consist of
Thinking around what food I could have and couldn’t, food shopping was hell! I can actually spot somebody’s shopping if they are SW obsessed! And if I dare to go out I for food I would often talk
Myself out of going out it was easier than the anxiety of what I called “cheating”. I have been following her missions for 9 months I still struggle now and again to get out the
Mindset!

Another:

I remember dreading every weigh in. Got myself into such a state with food that I ended up with a very short list of things I would eat because I'd been told they were safe. I felt I couldn't go out for a meal unless I could have certain foods that wouldn't jeopardise weigh in. It was one !!!!!!! meal and I couldn't relax for it! This year has been the first works Christmas do where I've not even thought about the meal other than to say ' I fancy having that so I'm having it' and guess what? I didn't explode from eating and drinking more than maybe I should have for ONE MEAL. I had a great time and just stopped when I had enough. That's thanks to Rebelfit and me reading and learning that there's no bad food. All food is good just have it all in moderation ����. Time for a few dozen mince pies that I would have refused when doing SW and WW ����

And another:

Yep, the whole time I was obsessing about food. Couldn’t loose weight without going to class. It is a cult. That is endorsed by there sh products (Miller lights and mug shots) I’ve ended up being a binger since going through them doors 8 years ago and only just overcoming the binge eating now. I never binged before going to SW. Any funnily enough everyone who I’ve ever spoken too have said the exact same thing about binging.

Everytime I restarted the diet I was heavier and heavier.

F them.. That was in the past, ive lost almost 6 stone since then through learning about nutrition and some fitness without the cult mentality.

More:

Yes to your ps! I realised that my relationship with food was awful and I was setting the worst example to my 12 year old daughter, she could tell anyone who asked how many syns in this and how many in that, absolute shocker and I feel so guilty for that. F'ing SW, this latest BS has made me chuckle though as it's so transparent.

And more:

Definitely anxious around food when I was at Slimming World. Left nearly a year ago and my relationship with food is so much better. I’m more in tune with how a food affects me rather than relying on someone else to tell me whether it is bad or good. If syns made sense then avocados wouldn’t be more syns than a curly wurly, or a mug shot which are just full of chemicals.

And more:

I was almost in tears when I realised the lockers I wanted to soothe my sore throat had syns in them and if I ate them to help my sore throat I would be over my syns for the day.

And more:

I can remember totally. The relationship I had with food was awful. I remember one day in particular where I couldn’t stop eating. I’d eat boiled eggs and a massive bowl of pasta until I was bursting and still needing to keep on eating. I felt so miserable all day but had to keep eating. I ate all the”free” foods and even mug shots (6 I think) and all manner of crappy food. I felt so awful and knew that I would see a gain on the scales even though I’d eaten free food. And guess what the next day at weigh in I stayed the same but felt so depressed and down. That was the lowest point I think I was at and the start of my walking away from SW. couldn’t understand how eating so much pasta and rice would help me lose weight. Still don’t. But now I eat what I like and strangely enough I haven’t binged for the last year at all. I don’t eat the whole packet of biscuits because 2 is enough. Or maybe 4. It doesn’t matter. I can stop and control. And if I fancy a chocolate bar I eat one. And I feel great. I’m the healthiest I’ve been in 20 years or so and happy. Life still isn’t great for me but I’m in control of my body. I go to gym and work out 5-7 times a week. Sometimes 40 mins. Others 80 but I’m in Control. Can’t believe I spent 5 years following SW and screwing my metabolism up. Oh and I also gave up smoking 4 years ago so I am feeling pretty pleased with myself rather then guilty and binging. Sorry for the long post but it just spilled out!! ��

And:

I remember one poor member being lectured about how eating grapes & bananas for lunch was probably where she went wrong that week - that a mug shot would be more filing and have less sugar to "protect her weight loss"

And:

Oh f**k, you would ask this on a day when I’ve decided I’d drink gin rather than eat...... apologies for spelling mistakes, etc..... so I joined in 2014 and quickly lost 1 1/2 stone (I say quickly but all things are relative May - October) and was wearing a size 12.... so where I wanted to be. Happy days, or should be! But I couldn’t get my head around going to fat club and not losing weight- and the SW website would “helpfully” point out on the homepage how many lbs I needed to lose for my next certificate �� This continued, I kept dropping the weight, next certificate - website still telling me how to get my next certificate (award).... you know how this is going to go, don’t you!!! So then I’m getting a “telling off” from the website because my weight is too low ..... hey, but it’s OK because the website homepage is still telling me how much I need to lose to get my next award �� I pointed this out to my consultant, I even emailed SW pointing out that we have issues with obsession, and can this not be switching it from an obsession to eating to an obsession with NOT eating...... nada!! I got below my minimum PAT (minimum weight allowed according to SW) - my consultant suggested I may like to check my height....... hey, guess what - I was actually a whole inch shorter than I’d thought I was my whole adult life, but that’s fine - that meant I could be 3 lbs lighter than I could be before......, oh yeah - sure enough I smashed that one too - I think there lightest I weighed in at was 7st 12lb (I’m either 5ft 4 or 5 depending .....) I couldn’t get the weight on (stones or keys in the pocket was a popular suggestion). I had thankfully started to realise at this point how ludicrous it was - and did some weight on, but that was in 2015 and my mind is still screwed!!!


And:

Yep. I got so stressed out over wanting an ice cream on holiday that all I could think about was how fat and disgusting I was and couldn't eat it. Ended up crying on my way home. I used to stress over every weigh in, it was awful. And the more stressed out I got, the more weight I gained ��

And: I did slimming world this year May - August.
Weigh in day was the worst I would weigh myself in the morning and be happy with the numbers I saw, then would get weighed at 7.30pm in the evening, the difference was shocking it used to make me cry , weigh in days I wouldn't eat, I would do everything in my power to ensure I tried to stay at the same weight all day, I gave up some time in August because one week I had been really 'good' plenty of speed, only my alloted syns for the day, I exercised alot that week, cycled around 20 miles in one week, was weighed and managed to put on +3lbs I was devastated beyond believe, I gave up then, i went back in September I attended one week, watched one lady get weighed she also was devastated to learn she had put on 1/2 lb, she could only put it down to the cough mixture and sweets she had consumed over the week. I never went back, I couldn't do that again, couldn't go back to worrying about everything I ate, the absurdity of being told the doing exercise wasn't needed to lose weight... Everyone knows humans need to move right? No Jemma just eat a few more sugar filled muller lights you will be fine... I think not, another thing I just couldn't get my head around was the need to make everything that your weren't 'allowed ' such as slimming world cakes which consisted of eggs and sweetener?
I feel bad for the people still stuck in the mental world of slimming world ��

There are more, but I am not sure how long a post can be. I await your opinion that these people too have something 'wrong' that made those things happen.

I am not bringing up your OCD.

My comments referring to 'obsessive' come from this statement by you:


And again I only became obsessed BECAUSE OF SW.

Perhaps in the interests of accuracy, you should amend this to 'I am arguing that its diet doesn't work for the majority but does work for the minority.'

Or how about you should say SW doesn't work for the majority??;)

But really, I don't really think I need to do that though, do I? I have already it (and other diets) will 'work' for between 5% & 20% of people. That's accurate. And I believe I have said that a few times. Doesn't change the fact it DOESN'T work for between 80% & 95% of people.

Anoneemoose

getmore4less wrote: »

Bottom line though Anoneemous Are you overweight?

if you are then you are just hiding behind the system that says it's ok to be overweight and not using it to its full potential

I am, yes. And I would disagree that's the bottom line. Just trying to knock my point of view another way.

I became more and more overweight through dieting. My weight gradually increased over the last 2 decades as my set point rose. Something which happens a lot with dieters, which the TED talk I linked to explains. As I mentioned, I developed bulimia.

You're obviously insinuating physically 'health' is most important.

So, if I attempt to manipulate my weight again then my mental health will suffer. I cannot exercise due to illness, so I move when possible. I also practise other 'healthful' behaviours, like eating a mainly unprocessed, whole food diet (mostly organic). I practise relaxation techniques too in times of stress (a big risk factor in a lot of the diseases obesity is associated with). If I was able, I would exercise like I used to love. I walked everywhere, swam 5/6 times a week. That of course would bring about benefits in itself, as i said in my first post in here, I believe.

I don't drink any alcohol and I don't smoke so there really isn't any more that I could do at this time to be the 'healthiest' me.

Pollycat

Anoneemoose
The way you've quoted my post is confusing and I can't quote your response.

However:

Maybe not specifically, but you won't possibly comprehend that it was SW's fault.

Then please don't post that I did say it was your fault.

I only have my experience of SW (albeit at a distance as I've already posted that I didn't attend classes) to comprehend how it worked.

Reading those posts from Facebook, I can only say that those women appeared obsessed with food.
I really can't comprehend that as I never felt like that.
I planned my menus, prepared meals (meals that my OH ate and enjoyed as they were my recipes adapted to SW principles) and drank the odd G&T.
I didn't feel the need to choose to drink gin instead of eating as one poster said - because I knew that was bonkers.

Eating boiled eggs and a massive bowl of pasta?
Really?
I'm less convinced that that is to do with SW than the personality of the 'dieters'.

Maybe I have a different view of SW as I didn't actually go to SW.
I've no idea whether there was misinformation about what brands to should eat.
I never bought ready meals as that's not how we do things - even if somebody had told me to, I wouldn't have done so.
I've never even heard of mugshots (apart from on US crime dramas).

Anyway, more interestingly, like Suki I'd really like to know this poster's meal plan:

GwylimT wrote: »

That really isn't true, when in the UK the only processed food we bought was tomato puree. We fed a family of four (with two coeliacs) for around £40 per month. This included breakfast, lunch/packup and our evening meal and we always got our five a day.

Eating processed foods is much more expensive.

suki1964 wrote: »

I thought I managed a cheap healthy diet at £120 a month for 3 adults ( no special dietary needs)

Can you give a typical monthly meal plan? Would help me for sure as we are on a limited income and I thought I had everything covered but I'm obviously missing a trick or five

Thank you

FBaby

Anoneemous, I remember that we had a similar discussion at least a year, if not longer ago. I think at the time, you had just come to the conclusion that dieting didn't work for you and you had started what I think you refer at 'intuitive eating'. The question therefore is? Has it work for you? Have you lost weight and are you feeling happier in yourself? If so, then clearly this is the right approach for you. If not, then maybe not.

Reading all your posts, I think what it comes down to is a very different attitude to what is 'restriction'. It would seem that you associate restriction with punishment, and therefore you see it as something that can only make you unhappy and therefore cannot be sustained.

I think those who are successful dieting don't have that same perception of what restriction means to them. Restricting myself in whatever aspect of my life, when I know that I've overindulged actually makes me feel psychologically good, in control I guess. Long lasting restriction, when it only needs to be minimal is ok too. Telling myself to stop at two biscuits when my brain is telling me to keep going is not too painful, and if I do have a bad day and really want to eat the whole package, telling myself that I can't have any treats for the next week again doesn't make me feel unhappy.

I think it's mainly because of built up habit and the fact that I have a very busy life, so can distract myself mentally from food.

Anoneemoose

Pollycat wrote: »

Anoneemoose
The way you've quoted my post is confusing and I can't quote your response.

However:
Then please don't post that I did say it was your fault.

I only have my experience of SW (albeit at a distance as I've already posted that I didn't attend classes) to comprehend how it worked.

Reading those posts from Facebook, I can only say that those women appeared obsessed with food.
I really can't comprehend that as I never felt like that.
I planned my menus, prepared meals (meals that my OH ate and enjoyed as they were my recipes adapted to SW principles) and drank the odd G&T.
I didn't feel the need to choose to drink gin instead of eating as one poster said - because I knew that was bonkers.

Eating boiled eggs and a massive bowl of pasta?
Really?
I'm less convinced that that is to do with SW than the personality of the 'dieters'.

Maybe I have a different view of SW as I didn't actually go to SW.
I've no idea whether there was misinformation about what brands to should eat.
I never bought ready meals as that's not how we do things - even if somebody had told me to, I wouldn't have done so.
I've never even heard of mugshots (apart from on US crime dramas).

Anyway, more interestingly, like Suki I'd really like to know this poster's meal plan:

See, it sounds like you're still not accepting that it could possibly be SW that caused these people to have these issues. A lot of them said theu never had issues before joining. The G&T one was, I believe, in jest.

But, yes, the posts you have quoted are indeed, very interesting.

Anoneemoose

FBaby wrote: »

Anoneemous, I remember that we had a similar discussion at least a year, if not longer ago. I think at the time, you had just come to the conclusion that dieting didn't work for you and you had started what I think you refer at 'intuitive eating'. The question therefore is? Has it work for you? Have you lost weight and are you feeling happier in yourself? If so, then clearly this is the right approach for you. If not, then maybe not.

Reading all your posts, I think what it comes down to is a very different attitude to what is 'restriction'. It would seem that you associate restriction with punishment, and therefore you see it as something that can only make you unhappy and therefore cannot be sustained.

I think those who are successful dieting don't have that same perception of what restriction means to them. Restricting myself in whatever aspect of my life, when I know that I've overindulged actually makes me feel psychologically good, in control I guess. Long lasting restriction, when it only needs to be minimal is ok too. Telling myself to stop at two biscuits when my brain is telling me to keep going is not too painful, and if I do have a bad day and really want to eat the whole package, telling myself that I can't have any treats for the next week again doesn't make me feel unhappy.

I think it's mainly because of built up habit and the fact that I have a very busy life, so can distract myself mentally from food.

It HAS 'worked' for me, not in the sense I have lost weight though. I have never said intuitive eating was a weight loss tool and it isn't. I am much happier, in a lot of aspects. As I have described throughout this theead, I eat well..I eat a huge variety of foods now. I don't have any issues around food and I can trust my body to tell me what I need. And contrary to what I originally imagined, that is not often a big tub of Ben and Jerry's. :rotfl:

Restriction for me meant a lot of things but 'wanting' half a packet of biscuits when I 'shouldn't' eat them was one thing.. Now I hardly touch them. Not even really that keen. With restriction, the beain cannot differentiate between actual restriction, like famine (obviously we're lucky not to habe to worry about that), and perceived restriction (dieting), which is why it turns on your appetite, cravings etc.

See, my honest opinion of what you are 'doing' is that distraction will only take you so far and won't last. That opinion is based on what I have learnt throughout my journey. BUT I appreciate you're happy with that and I GENUINELY hope you continue with that because you're happy with it.

Pollycat

Anoneemoose wrote: »

See, it sounds like you're still not accepting that it could possibly be SW that caused these people to have these issues. A lot of them said theu never had issues before joining. The G&T one was, I believe, in jest.

But, yes, the posts you have quoted are indeed, very interesting.

I don't know whether it was SW or it wasn't.
All I can say (again) is that SW didn't cause me to have any issues about diets or food.
Not short, medium or long-term.
Maybe it was just some personality trait in these women.
Who knows?
I don't and you've not convinced me that you do either.

FBaby

I'm glad you are feeling better about yourself because ultimately, that's what matters most. Whether you are a healthy weight from a medical perspective, this is personal information and only for you to decide.

See, my honest opinion of what you are 'doing' is that distraction will only take you so far and won't last

It won't last if you are using it purely for that purpose. It will last if you incorporate within the routine/normality of your life.

Keeping a healthy diet has often been linked to how people manage their finances, and indeed, in my view, it is exactly the same. People who have a tendency to overspend face the same issue. They feel frustrated and unhappy at the prospect of having to restrict their spending, shopping trips etc... Indeed, distraction will only work for so long. However, if they adopt a lifestyle by which they realise that they don't need half of the things they buy, that they can take on different activities as part of their routine rather than the Saturday afternoon trip to town, and can get an overall happy feeling from knowing they don't have to worry about how they will pay their bills, then they will manage to kick the bad habits.

Anoneemoose

Pollycat wrote: »

I don't know whether it was SW or it wasn't.
All I can say (again) is that SW didn't cause me to have any issues about diets or food.
Not short, medium or long-term.
Maybe it was just some personality trait in these women.
Who knows?
I don't and you've not convinced me that you do either.

My aim isn't to convince you.

I 'argued' with your comments to back up what I had initially said.

I know because that 'pesky science' shows that dieting and restriction lead to this sort of behaviour pattern in the manjoriy. Not just SW. That post just happened to be about SW. I find it 'interesting' that no matter what information I provide, you will find some way of deflecting it from being the fault of the diet companies and then disguise that as 'who knows'? Regardless of the fact that didn't happen for you, it is still clear it happens to other people.

Anoneemoose

FBaby wrote: »

I'm glad you are feeling better about yourself because ultimately, that's what matters most. Whether you are a healthy weight from a medical perspective, this is personal information and only for you to decide.


It won't last if you are using it purely for that purpose. It will last if you incorporate within the routine/normality of your life.

Keeping a healthy diet has often been linked to how people manage their finances, and indeed, in my view, it is exactly the same. People who have a tendency to overspend face the same issue. They feel frustrated and unhappy at the prospect of having to restrict their spending, shopping trips etc... Indeed, distraction will only work for so long. However, if they adopt a lifestyle by which they realise that they don't need half of the things they buy, that they can take on different activities as part of their routine rather than the Saturday afternoon trip to town, and can get an overall happy feeling from knowing they don't have to worry about how they will pay their bills, then they will manage to kick the bad habits.

YNAB all the way for me!!:D