Can you make someone else lose weight?

dandy-candy

I'm getting very frustrated with my husband who really needs to lose weight but never sticks with it.
He's 53, weighs nearly 23 stone, has high cholesterol and repeated attacks of gout. His mother had high cholesterol too and died at the age he is now.
He's started diets and going to the gym in the past but doesn't ever stick with it. There's always a reason - he's too busy or tired for the gym, the portions of his dinner are too small for a big guy, he gets hungry between meals, he's had a hard day and wants a nice dinner to relax etc.
We have 3 adult kids who have mentioned over the years how they want him to take care of himself, he gave up smoking when they were younger which was great and he drinks very little - a pint of shandy or cider once in a month, but food is a big part of his life though and he really see's it as his only pleasure which is pretty sad.
Do you think anything can be done to make someone else lose weight? I always hoped he would finally realise he needed to do it but it doesn't seem to be happening.

KxMx

If he develops a health problem that might scare him into finally doing something.

Otherwise, I don't think you can make someone lose weight, they have to
want to do it for themselves.

getmore4less

Start with regular romps although that may induce munchies.

Look for foods that leave you full longer, don't fall for the low fat message.

The trick with any lifestyle changes is finding better things to do.

One change that worked for me(for a while) was ditching the car changing to public transport and walking.

IAmWales

Are you perfect OP?

He's an adult. If he wants to lose weight he will. If he doesn't that is entirely his choice.

getmore4less

Is he drinking enough fluids.

theoretica

You can't make someone lose weight, well not without abuse, but you can make it easier for them to do so. Look to your choices when you are the one cooking, to be tasty, filling and healthy. Arrange to be active when you are together, not just as 'doing exercise' but happening to arrange the day to have more walking.

KentishLady

Slimming world was the answer for my husband. He has lost a stone so far and is managing to (mostly) stick to it. I think reasons it is working are a) we are going together and the whole house is eating slimming world friendly main meals, b) the weekly weigh in motivates him to try and choose healthier options and c) there is no restriction on free foods so long as you are eating a balanced meal.

I cook syn free main meals and lunches leaving him to choose his syns for treats apart from takeaway Friday when we sometimes have a kfc ricebox.

It's the only diet he has stuck to for any length of time.

KL

Marvel1

If he is happy leave him to it, he is enjoying his life.

gettingtheresometime

theoretica wrote: »

You can't make someone lose weight, well not without abuse, but you can make it easier for them to do so. Look to your choices when you are the one cooking, to be tasty, filling and healthy. Arrange to be active when you are together, not just as 'doing exercise' but happening to arrange the day to have more walking.

You could throw all the abuse you cared to at me but the only thing I would think is that you were totally rude & lacking in manners!
(A family member tried to ‘fat shame’ me years ago & the only thing it achieved was me losing any respect I had for her)

Slimming World doesn’t really market itself as a diet - it’s more about a lifestyle change though I’d agree that it would be worth cooking their recipes as you really can’t tell they are healthy meals. Have a look at the pinchofnom website as whilst it’s not an official sw site, their recipes are sw friendly

iammumtoone

You can't directly make him lose weight, he is an adult he can do want he wants.

But as you live with him indireclty yes you can make/help him lose weight.

Do you cook his meals?. Cook heathly but filling make sure you both eat the same. Do not have any tempation in the house - no biscuits/crisps etc. It may help if you decide you want go on a 'diet'. Go for walks together, dont just say we are going for a walk arrange to visit differenent places/venues where walking is involved or other activities that aren't seen as getting fit but get you excercising.

Of course he can still buy himself whatever he wants but if you fill him up with healthy options hopefully he wont need to top up.

It will take longer than him wanting to do it himself but will help. Done the right way/gradual changes at a time hopefully he wont even realise it is happening.

FreddieFrugal

cjdavies wrote: »

If he is happy leave him to it, he is enjoying his life.

Stupidity.

The man has a wife and children - responsibilities go beyond fulfilling your own desires when you've made commitments to others.

Health is important - it's natural for family to be concerned if a members actions are likely to cause harm to themselves and therefore everyone else as well.