Can you make someone else lose weight?

atolaas

In short, you can't force him to lose weight. He can ask to be referred to SWMS - Specialist Weight Management Service through his GP. They can help him explore the psychological and emotional reasons for his eating. I'm about the same weight as your husband and nearly 15 years younger, my health is suffering too. After a year under the care of SWMS, I've come to the conclusion that gastric surgery is the way forward for me. It isn't the only option available under the service - there are psychologists, nutritionists and other health care professionals who are able advise the best course of action. It's tailored to the individual's needs. Help is available, but he needs to WANT to change. I know how demoralizing dieting can be - lose 2 stone then gain 3 back! HTH.

jayII

I'd also suggest Slimming World style, but rather than pushing him to join a group (unless you go together and he is happy with this), educate yourself on Slimming World style eating/cooking and change the whole family's meals accordingly. The Slimming world thread on here is really helpful and informative.

Slimming world is well known for filling, tasty meals and snacks and you can eat huge portions and still lose weight, just by following the 'rules', which mainly focus on eating low fat foods (apart from oily fish which is unrestricted), eating lots of fruit and veg, avoiding cooking in oils and limiting bread, alcohol and sugary foods. There are other 'rules' too but that is mainly the gist of it. On the whole it's a pretty healthy diet and fairly easy to stick to.

If he's happy to go along with that, he'll still be able to eat big portions and feel full, but he's likely to lose weight easily, even if he has the odd foody blip or blow out.

trailingspouse

No, you can't make him lose weight.

You can make it harder for him to eat the wrong sorts of food - don't have crisps, sweets, fizzy pop etc etc etc in the house, make lots of salads. But that's likely to make you the bad guy. And besides, you're not his mother.

I think everyone who loses weight successfully and sustainably has had a light bulb moment of some sort. For my OH it was when he saw a photo of himself on the beach - his T-shirt had ridden up and exposed a lot of flabby belly. And he didn't want to be that bloke on the beach.

He decided to diet - for him, the 5:2 diet worked best (very restricted calories two days per week, and sensible healthy eating the rest of the time). He started the diet in January 2017, and by May had lost 2 stone. He stopped doing the 5:2, but continued with the healthy eating and has lost a further 5 pounds without really trying. Here's a link to a thread about how things went - https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/5602593

But the important thing is - he had to find his own reason for doing it.

robpw2

dont enable him - if you dont buy bad foods then he wont have as easy access to them

Marvel1

FreddieFrugal wrote: »

Stupidity.

The man has a wife and children - responsibilities go beyond fulfilling your own desires when you've made commitments to others.

Health is important - it's natural for family to be concerned if a members actions are likely to cause harm to themselves and therefore everyone else as well.

You are at risk everyday e.g. car accident and dead (don't mean to be so blunt but it's true, enjoy life) - "stay at home dear, you have a family to think about".

maman

I'm another Slimming World fan. It's a healthy eating plan where you can eat loads but of healthy foods.

However, you can cook him SW meals at home but without his cooperation he could sabotage it by eating junk when he's out.


If you look at the SW website or buy one of the magazines you'll see a sample 7 day menu. Most normal recipes can be adapted using spray oil.

I'd show him the menus and see if he's prepared to give it a go. There's a great SW thread on here if you need any advice.

LilElvis

cjdavies wrote: »

You are at risk everyday e.g. car accident and dead (don't mean to be so blunt but it's true, enjoy life) - "stay at home dear, you have a family to think about".

But most people do what they can to minimise risk - ensure their car is maintained, wear seat belts etc. This man is raising his risk of an early death.

I also don't see how someone can really "enjoy life" when they suffer from gout, will struggle to do anything active and has diabetes and joint problems to look forward to at the very least.

chesky

My daughter and her husband have joined Slimming World too. They enjoy going and he's lost a stone and she's lost 10lbs. They seem to be able to eat bread and potatoes as they tell me it's low fat, not carbs. You'll have to join in, not make him the only one doing it and help by cooking him the food he likes within the limits of the diet.

Pollycat

You can't make anyone do something that they don't want to do.

It has to come from him.
Is he aware of the risks of being obese?
Does he have a poor diet?

starting_again_in_the_sun

In a word... No, you cannot make him lose weight. He is a grown up and has to make his own decisions.

There are a few things you can do to help him get healthier though:
- when cooking, use whole grains and lentils/ beans, this should help fill him up.
- As others have said, stop buying junk food, if he wants it, he can walk to the shop.
- Does he have any hobbies? If not, can he find some? In my experience most people overeat because they are bored, keeping busy may help him.

But at the end of the day, if he wants to eat junk, he will eat junk.

Good luck!