Does it ever "get better"?

lulu_92

Candyapple wrote: »

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/5510678

Is this the same mummy’s boy you’re going to marry who a year ago you were ready to walk out on because he didn’t have your back and chose his mum over you? The same one who didn’t bother getting you a birthday gift and his mum blamed you for it? The one who said your opinion about guests in your house doesn’t matter because it’s not your house?

Did you ever resolve the issues between the both of you?

I vaguely remember from that thread also there were issues of resentment on your part for him not having proposed/you two being married yet despite being together for many years. Did you end up popping the question in the end?

You do realise that just because you may be wedding planning and have set a date, if nothing has really changed and you both haven’t had counselling separately and together as a couple, your marriage won’t likely last very long. You both have a lot of issues to deal with.

I should have provided an update ages ago but I forgot. Yes things improved dramatically. At first things were hard but we worked everything out. His parents backed off and actually became very considerate and helpful. Us agreeing on boundaries helped massively and I've not actually had to worry about any of the things I wrote in that thread for almost a year. OH proposed on Christmas Day and it was wonderful. I guess people were right when they told me to stop even thinking about it because he will when he is ready.

We're stronger than ever now. A lot of the stuff we have been through has made it difficult but we work hard at our relationship.

lulu_92

Fireflyaway wrote: »

What you have listed is a series of difficult events and I really don't mean to be flippant but that's life. You have hardships and you will have more at some point. Most people will experience illness, money problems, relationship problems, work issues etc. People may not openly let it show but virtually everyone has difficulty at some point.
Build an emergency fund to protect you if there is an emergency / drop in pay. Other than that remember all the good things and they probably outweigh the bad.

I get that. I wrote this thread when I was having a very very low day. Regardless of it being "just life" it is still hard to cope when everything hits you in a short period of time, and I don't necessarily think it is a bad thing to let those feelings come out sometimes, and it sometimes can't be helped if these feelings overcome you. Not everyone can deal with things as well as others. Sometimes I feel like I can handle it all, and other days I can't even bear the thought of dealing with anything that involves me getting out of bed. We all cope differently. I'm trying to think of positives, but that too is difficult when you have all of the problems in the back of your mind. Right now I'm trying to make the most of the extra day I have with my children, and get some stuff sorted while we can afford it.

We are lucky to have an emergency fund, but with some last minute budgeting I don't think we will have to touch much of it.

Regarding the wedding we don't have that much left to save, and OH has found out he's been underpaid at both of his jobs so there's some more money coming back to us in the next few weeks :T