Does it ever "get better"?

FBaby

Could you just be exhausted? Exhaustion has a nasty way of making everything look bleak and feeling hard done by.

borkid

gettingtheresometime wrote: »

I also think the concept of 'treats' is a relatively new thing, perhaps it's co-incidental with the rising need for families to have 2 incomes.


As an example when I was a child, you got toys at Christmas & birthdays - occasionally if I got a good school report in the summer I would get something, but only something little. Now it seems children have toys all the year round.


The children won't remember not going to soft play or any other paid activity but they will remember the things that they did with their parents that didn't necessarily cost a lot.....Christmas will soon be with us - what about making decorations as that will be making memories for them as well as you.

The things my 2 remember most about their childhood days are the ones that cost little or very little. Baking, walks and discovering nature, the caterpillar that became a butterfly, footpainting, sand box in the garden, the present my near 40 year old remembers is rainbow my little pony which I made from scraps of wool and a piece of white curtain lining, we couldn't afford to buy one. Pre school a lot of their toys were made either by me or OH they still have the fort, dolls house zoo and a few other little pieces. They were the envy of their friends as the toys could be customised .
A lot of their clothes were homemade with either cut down old adult clothes or cheap material from the market. Shoes were never skimped on though.

lulu_92

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

I am not sure what you expect to get out of starting this thread.

Is it just to vent?

Sometimes it's good to get it all out. Many people have posted on this board to do the same thing. If I get any advice then brilliant. Sometimes when you have a sparse support network you don't have many places to turn.

lulu_92

FBaby wrote: »

Could you just be exhausted? Exhaustion has a nasty way of making everything look bleak and feeling hard done by.

This is very likely. I need to see a doctor really.


Thanks everyone for the patience and advice

Sambella

Are you claiming any benefits you are entitled to?

You should check.

annandale

You might be able to claim Universal Credit.

elsien

If you're not in a union for advice, try posting on the employment board with regards to the redundancy situation and whether they're doing it correctly.
According to gov.uk
"Trial periods. You have the right to a 4 week trial period for any alternative employment you're offered. ... This won't affect your employment rights, including your right to statutory redundancy pay. You'll lose your right to claim statutory redundancy pay if you don't give notice within the 4 week trial period."
Is it worth a try to confirm that it's really not doable?

iammumtoone

I am sorry to hear about your redundancy as someone who has just had that happen to me its a shock and does hit you hard.

Like you I took another job within the company, I am lucky that my new job pays a lot more but this also has a downside, more money means harder job/more stress and like you the hours were not what I wanted but I am lucky to still be in work many of my colleagues are not. It is still new to me and I am settling in, hopeful that it work out.

Reading your posts you have alot of advantages to me support from husband and parents for one. I am doing it mostly on my own with a child with difficulties, I am not going to lie it is hard. You are welcome to read my thread on my work situation and I am sure you will find many advantages you think I have over yourself, that's human nature to look at what others have better than yourself when you are struggling. But we have to focus on the positives not downside.

Give it time for the situation to sink in and try to think of the positives.

Good Luck

swimminginaseaofdebt

lulu_92 wrote: »

Please understand that I know kids don't care about things that cost money, and i dont think it makes me a better parent if i spend more money. Im saying that every now and again it might be nice to take a family day out to the zoo, or take them swimming, or do something a bit different than normal. I'm not talking about every weekend, or every month.

Hello,

Can you set yourself a weekly/monthly food budget then every time you come under pop the money into a change jar/separate bank account to put towards occasional treats for the kids?

phillw

lulu_92 wrote: »

This is very likely. I need to see a doctor really.

If you're not feeling well then going to the doctor is a good idea. However terms like depression and anxiety get thrown round, similar to how everyone always say they have flu when it's just a cold. Diagnosis is quite unreliable as there are no blood tests.

So it's important that you don't talk yourself into being diagnosed with a mental health issue. However you should definitely talk to someone specialised about your bereavement.

It gets better if you are careful. The people who struggle the most are those who try to spend their way out of unhappiness. The human mind is a complicated thing and the things you think you're worried about are probably not the main problem. You only need enough money to survive. If you have that, then you need to go looking elsewhere. It could be something from your childhood, your relationship with your parents etc. Work on those problems and you won't care less how much money you have.

As a kid I was more excited if we had a cardboard box that my sister and I could cut up and turn into something.