For those nearing/in retirement who decided against having children...

Pollycat

enthusiasticsaver wrote: »

Did you still manage to socialise with them when their children were young? I only ask because much of our socialising was done with family barbecues, trips to the beach or family fun day outs. I cannot imagine many child free couples would have found those days enjoyable and I think this is why we managed to maintain friendships with these couples and other childfree couples found other friends in similar situations to them.

We didn't know any of the couples when we were young.

We certainly wouldn't have been interested in the days out you mention.

Mrs_pbradley936

Can I join in? I do have children BUT I wish I had never had them! I do love them but to be honest they are not worth the emotional input because it is rarely reciprocal.

Money was not a problem for us so I never went without a nice house, car holidays etc.

When we were young it was "odd" not to want children and people assumed you were barren because it was "only natural". It is natural to want a decent sex life but not natural to want children.

Had I known then what I know now I would be child free.

chelseablue

Interesting thread.

I have one child who is 3.

Starting to get asked when I'm having another one and when I say I'm not having anymore I get looked at like I'm mad.
Apparently its awful of me not to give him a sibling :rotfl:

Pollycat

Mrs_pbradley936 wrote: »

Can I join in? I do have children BUT I wish I had never had them! I do love them but to be honest they are not worth the emotional input because it is rarely reciprocal.

Money was not a problem for us so I never went without a nice house, car holidays etc.

When we were young it was "odd" not to want children and people assumed you were barren because it was "only natural". It is natural to want a decent sex life but not natural to want children.

Had I known then what I know now I would be child free.

Oh, that's so sad to read, Mrs pbradley.

When I was young, it was 'normal' to get married (without living together first), move into your (usually) tiny house - that you'd both saved for in a 'special mortgage account' with the local building society - furnished with cast-offs from family and then start a family pretty soon after.
My Aunt - only 10 years older than me - gave up work immediately before she was married - to be a housewife and start a family.

I was 'one-on-my-own' - probably viewed as 'odd' and 'not natural' by most of my contemporaries, I guess - although I was never vilified for my stance on children as some posters (on another thread) have said they were.

bugslet

Not_Me_Officer wrote: »

Wow you sound just like my dad. Not once did i ever see him cry in 28 years until he died. Sure i saw him get angry but never upset.
I remember him telling me about when his mother died (before my time). No tears at all. They weren't even distant but equally didn't live in each others pockets. He told me he was at work in the morning on the farm, left to go to the funeral & then once it was over he was back at work again just like you'd nip out for the dentist or something.

That's beyond my level of lacking emotions i've got to say.



Thank you for the rest of your post though

I did get upset when both my parents and OH died, but I'm just one of those that can't see the point of wailing on about something you can't do anything about. I allow myself a few weeks to be upset and then just get on with life.

Kim_13 wrote: »

I'm an only child (my parents were around your ages when they had me.)

It's cool when you're younger, as everyone else's siblings stole this, broke that or were hogging the TV/computer/PlayStation (or whatever other console was in fashion.) When you get a bit older, it isn't. I was in my late teens when I started to wish I had a sibling.

My best friend is also an only child and still doesn't mind. I think the extended family is a factor. Hers is fairly big and she has a cousin 2 years apart in age who is also an only child, so they're really close. My cousins either have a sibling or are twice my age, so we're not close.

I'm an only, never wanted a sibling, rarely saw cousins.

I'm actually a very sociable person though it might not sound like it, most of my friends seem to think I'm never in, which is partly true.

Gavin83

Mrs_pbradley936 wrote: »

Can I join in? I do have children BUT I wish I had never had them! I do love them but to be honest they are not worth the emotional input because it is rarely reciprocal.

Money was not a problem for us so I never went without a nice house, car holidays etc.

When we were young it was "odd" not to want children and people assumed you were barren because it was "only natural". It is natural to want a decent sex life but not natural to want children.

Had I known then what I know now I would be child free.

This can act as a reference post for those who claim no parents ever regret their decision to have children.

heartbreak_star

bugslet wrote: »

I did get upset when both my parents and OH died, but I'm just one of those that can't see the point of wailing on about something you can't do anything about. I allow myself a few weeks to be upset and then just get on with life.

That's how I've always dealt. You allow yourself to grieve, then you take steps to crack on.

HBS x