5 OS pleasures in your day today - part 3

balabooberlies

Well, have ordered 2 oil filled radiators.  I was looking at the best of the cheapest range (IYSWIM) but it seems everyone has had the same idea.  So I had to buy the cheapest one.  It has no timer but I can still manage to turn a switch/pull a plug out.  It's also not 'Smart' but as I don't want it to calculate long division sums I am not worried.  Tee-hee.........

With any luck they will arrive today, as promised.

I now know more about heating systems/boilers than I ever thought I would.  I won't remember most of it (ADD) but it has been interesting.  It has highlighted something else.  The OU provide an ACCESS course, free.  I have been looking at it for years but never felt that I had the right environment to be commited to it.  Anyone that knows me would bet money on me choosing the Arts/Humanities option.  Not so.  The last few years the basis for this one is 'Conflict'.  I have enough of that and I can read the war poets anytime.  I would like to try the sciences.  Have a real hankering to learn how things work, why they work.  Want to challenge a different side of my brain.  Am aiming for next year.

Amp am putting things into place.  Have to balance my instinct that there is something involving Asbergers, old age, character.  Am trying to do this with conscience/kindness and feel as if I am failing miserably.  I get worn out with instances where OH counts how many mushrooms my brother has used (ONE), how many rashers of bacon (TWO), how many toilet rolls.  I PAY FOR ALL THE SHOPPING.  I do all the shopping, cooking, cleaning.  My parents send money every month and it is shared with him.  I become very short and sharp because I am worn out with negativity.  When I told him that I had ordered 2 heaters (gift from my Mum) he said I should have only bought one.  It would never occur to him to say thank you.

The result is that I am mentally beating myself up all day every day.  When he looks frail or seems a little confused all my plans to leave get pushed aside with 'how can I leave'.  But we are not married, we are not even partners.  We are just friends that were helping each other out........and 25 years has passed.  Everyone, including doctors and consultants think we are married because of the way we are.

bala

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balabooberlies

Sorry.

The 'pleasures' are that I am wading through the quagmire of emotions I feel.  Trying to think about self-preservation.

My wonderful brother.  Even with his disability he brings me quiet joy because his default setting is similar to mine.  He is so easy.

My Mum.  My sister.  My Dad.  My Tiggy.

You.

I am very lucky.


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PaulieHerts

Hugs to Bala. You must be worn out and conflicted, life can be so difficult 😘
Valentine’s Day pleasures:
As usual, they mostly involve food:
 Cooked breakfast 🍳 as it’s OH’s favourite 😊 
Glass of Prosecco with it because ....
Picked up click & collect from Tesco.
It was supposed to contain our special Valentine’s meal deal.  It didn’t! The starter, main, side of dauphinois potato and dessert were all unavailable and no substitute! Surely they could have substituted the rump steak with herb butter with rump steak!
So we made do with chicken Kiev, roast potatoes, garlic mushrooms and millionaires cheesecake that I already had in the freezer 😊. Along with another glass of Prosecco and a nice glass of red wine 🍷, it was very good 😊
Phoned Tesco and got a £5 gift voucher and a credit for the bottle of wine 😊
OH bought me flowers and chocolates and a lovely card with swans doing their courtship love heart💕   I got him beer and fudge 🤣
I bought my 90 year old neighbour some daffodils with my click and collect which I took up with a couple of items of shopping I got for her, we had a 5 minute chat and she looked so pleased 😊
Watched Countryfile, Antiques Roadshow and programme about Princess Margaret on Mustique.
Tonight a programme about our beloved Cadgwith Cove and fishing is on BBC 2 at 9 p.m. 😊
Hope you all had the best day possible 😘

villagelife

Bala - hugs to you. I know that is inadequate for the situation you are in as
1. Sun out and definitely warmer than it has been. 
2. DH spent day finishing the painting and I cleared all the movable stuff upstairs as the wooden floor is to be fitted this week.
3. Chat with a neighbour.
4. Easy tea of soup and sandwiches.
5. Left till last. We finally met DS1 girlfriend. At a suitable social distance. DS1 returned the hair clippers, needed for DH, she seemed friendly. Talked more to us in 10 minutes on the drive than the previous one did in 4 years. Hopefully we will meet her properly soon though not sure when that will be allowed.

LaineyT

Loved that video &, glad to hear that you are healing well.
For yesterday,

Usual morning of catching up on all things Ambridge and enjoying a pot of coffee.

Went and picked up our Sunday roast, organised well and a safe handover, we didn’t eat until later but the food was delicious and plenty of it so leftovers for today, small dog got some roast pork and gravy as well.

We binge watched The Investigation, a Danish production and based on a real life murder case, very addictive.

Afternoon walk with beloved and small dog, biting wind but good to have a leg stretch, got home just as the rain started.

Talking of whom, here she is having a moment oh her bed, upside down and smiling at us. She is due a haircut this week so the milder weather is right on cue!

Happycas

A grey day but warmer so that's good.

Bala I do try, in the words of Dylan, to ' know too much to argue or to judge' ( not that I know much!) but this can't continue. I fear you are enabling his behaviour, and so he has no reason to change. Sorry if I'm speaking out of turn but I do worry about you in that situation.

Frith - well done on the weight loss. Especially impressive when you still have to provide food for two healthy growing boys who doubtless have huge appetites.


Went to see DS half built house yesterday. It's coming on well despite current circumstances. Hopefully will be ready by the summer.

Supermarket today. Very quiet and well behaved. There was no chilli powder! What's that all about?!

Leftovers Monday. A trawl through the freezer yielded chilli con carne. Might be the last for a while if there's a chilli shortage.

Happy Monday everyone

Blackbeard_of_Perranporth

Rock on!

DD We is in the zone! The relegation zone!
Bala Though wills be tinkering with magnetos and magnetrons! Some toys will make your hare stand on ends!
Cooked brakefests, Soups and roasts Proper Foods!
LTs Smiling Mutt!
Well I suppose most said they would not get 15,000,000!

Selection is unimportant!

So that was the weakened. Court up with the opera app now! Watched a bit of Aerial America and finshed off with the Coffee drinking comics! Particularly good! Wobbleades and cheeses were consumed! Kitty was treated!

Nows ons mes usual elevenses connected via the ether to the Docks! Tee is inn the mug and too dark chocolate digestives are bee inn ated as well! All is good at the Docks this day!

While connected through too the Docks, I is eye ball inn the cricket. Carp, AVOID!

Not much else happening at the moment! BoPsie tuck herselfs two the Salt Mine this day! Gets sum works too do for the Docks!

Keep Safe!

There it is, then!

Frith

Bala - I hope you don’t think we are piling on or criticising you. I’m going to post something here for you, then I’ll shut up!

I’ll kick off by saying I was married for 6 years to a most unpleasant man. It took me years to leave as it was expensive, awkward, scary and generally disruptive for me to do so. Eventually, I had to move into a woman’s refuge. My sons were 1 and 4 then. You don’t ever have to think you don’t have it “bad enough” or that other people suffer more. The emotional and financial abuse you describe jumps out most to me and you can read more here: 
https://www.womensaid.org.uk/information-support/what-is-domestic-abuse/

He wont change, because he doesn’t want to. It doesn’t matter if he’s old, in poor health, had a sad childhood or whatever. If he wanted to change, he would go to huge lengths to do so. Or he would agree that the relationship wasn’t working and leave amicably.

The most striking thing one of my friends said to me was something like this: of course, you know how to “manage” him and you could carry on as you are. But do you want to carry on exactly like this for perhaps 20-30 years? That is a long time to be battling unnecessarily.

My final note would be not to tell him if you are considering leaving. His behaviour will ramp up and he will not ever deal fairly and decently with you. If that’s what you decide to do, get advice, get a plan and go.

I hope I have not upset you by posting and I won’t say any more (unless you ask).

[Deleted User]

1) It's 11 degrees outside today!

2) We've just been for a lovely extra long walk and got so warm walking that we both had to undo our coats.

3) My granddaughter who has developed a 'cheese' smile when phone pictures are taken, so cute.

4) Speedwell and daisies out on a sunny grass bank, snowdrops everywhere and crocuses of all colours in front gardens and the first of the wild daffodils out in a sunny sheltered spot in the woods around the lake, not quite spring but giving hope it's not too far away.

5) Every day that passes since the vaccinations we were so very fortunate to get gives us a little more protection against covid so we're 10 days in and counting and feeling very privileged, thank heavens for the NHS!

balabooberlies

Happycas, Frith.  You haven't upset me at all and I don't take it as criticism.  I take it as a way to mull through things.  It's a help not a hindrance.  Thank you

bala

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