5 OS pleasures in your day today - part 3

mhagster

Hello. Almost 6pm and still light. Hurrah.
Been a day most tearful. Have spent much of it sobbing. It’s four years since my lovely husband was so poorly he needed to go into hospice. And the day our lives changed forever. As he left home and never came back. And I don’t expect anyone but my children to understand what this meant/means  to us as I don’t expect anyone to even remember the date but we do. We feel it. And just some days bite you in the bum still. 

Was in at work early.
Popped over to friends with some flowers. Stood on her doorstep for a quick chat. Saw a rainbow in the sky and then two ‘rainbows’of oily water near my car ( but not from my car) so took them as a sign. 

Then DD2 car needed to be dropped off at garage and could I pick her up ( way, way the other blooming side of town) so took the dog with me so he didn’t go raking in shopping bags  which I hadn’t emptied. He was quite happy to come along for the ride!

Window cleaner came...grrrr had to payout my tip jar! ( our local cash machine has been out of order for ages ) Anyway at least I had tips to give him. Then see all the dog nose marks on the inside so had to clean them! 

Was chatting to DD1 ( in a sobbing kind of way but ended up laughing) when DD2 got a call to say her car was ready so had to go all the way over to the far, far side of town and back again) so called DD1 back later and finished our conversation. 

Downstairs is tidy from the cleaned out fire to the loo and all the bits in between. 

Stripped my bed ( which I need to go and make so it’s not a surprise at bedtime) washing all hung outside and almost dried. Was such a good wind. But the funny thing was I had literally just stepped back in house with it when an almighty downpour that just lasted a few minutes  then it was bright sky again. 
 

Got the dog a new light up ball and he’s rather delighted with it  so that’s been getting rolled up the length of the house and chased. 

Have eaten my body weight in carbohydrates today as I’m giving them up for lent! 

Chat with son last night so he’s doing okay. Think we all struggle a bit at this time of year. 

Anyway just waiting on keys then I’ll be having an early night. I’ve several hours sleep still  to catch up on. 

And of course tomorrow is another day.

Suffolksue

Hugs Mhags I completely get it and it sucks 
I so wish I could tell you it gets better but it doesn’t .
much love x

LaineyT

Such anniversaries are kept tight in your heart forever Mhags ❤️

balabooberlies

Mhags, really feel for you.

bala

x

Frith

I’m sorry you’re feeling so sad today, Mhags.

Pleasures for today (Tuesday)

1) A proper night’s sleep!

2) Hens ok.

3) Cleaned the bathroom.

4) Bigger son had a good day at work.

5) I took smaller son out for some chips.

6) Pancakes for tea with strawberries and Nutella.

Wracked with guilt today that I’ve spent too long/too much time concentrating on bigger son to the detriment of smaller son. It is quite hard to stay enthusiastic about someone who won’t agree to do anything or go anywhere and who (at times) will spend a whole day just saying “p*** off” repeatedly. It has taken some effort to get him to agree to go out today (he’s also agreed to do something on Thursday) so of course now I’m thinking it’s my fault for not trying harder before and also that bigger son being here all day every day for 11 months didn’t help.
To top off this bleak feeling, the lady who is running the Mental Health First Aid course I started yesterday emailed me with some things she thought I’d find helpful so now I’m thinking I must have looked like a hugely anxious mess on Zoom last night and she thinks I need these resources desperately!  

DundeeDoll

big hugs mhags
sorry to hear you're in the relegation zone bop we're currently losing 0-2
1) the mornings are getting lighter
2) and the snow has all but gone (lovely for a few days but when it gets iced over i'd rather it was gone)
3) pancakes for lunch 
4) stamppot for supper, complete with smoked sausage
5) and a very nice glass of fizz - half apple juice, half tonic water, couple of iced chunks of orange - in my favourite red wine glass  - the perfect mid week non-tipply tipple

PaulieHerts

Hugs to Mhags, Frith & Bala 🤗 
For today:
Summoned a little get up and go to do 3 of my most hated jobs: wash the kitchen floor, do the ironing, change the bed.  Pleasures are that they’re done and I love getting into a clean bed 😊
As there was break in between the rain and showers, got myself out and went to local park:
As usual, the snowdrops, crocuses and squirrels made me happy 😀
There was no queue at the cafe so had an unplanned sausage and onions in a roll and a free cuppa as my loyalty card was full - that’s my MSE bit!
Now in my lovely clean bed, with my heat pad on my back and reading your pleasures, life’s not too bad 😊😘

balabooberlies

Hello

had a spiffing day yesterday.  A cheque arrived, 19 something pounds that I wasn't expecting,  bought a scratch card and won, more pennies towards debts, AND I entered a small competition for stencils for my nieces......AND WON !

Right !  That's enough of that.  You might end up thinking that I am a positive person...........tee-hee  

Frith, hope you don't mind me saying this.  I describe my brother as a ball of wonderfulness and for the most part he is.  No-one expected him to stay here this long but when it became apparent I think my Mum hoped I would iron out his very deep creases.  I felt an enormous pressure and had to think deep and hard.  I decided I would tackle 2 things.  And that is what I have done.

Because he has very limited understanding due to his primary disability he is incredibly over sensitive.  At first I was over jolly until he told me to stop treating him like a child (in his own way).  Okay then.  Then he started developing a stonking bad attitude (muttering under his breath, even swearing) every time I asked him to do something.  I put up with it for a little while until one day I blew up.  I told him that I had to deal with that from OH but I didn't have to put up with it from him.  That he could go back home.  Everything has changed since then.  I haven't changed his sensitivity but have learnt not to be worried if he doesn't like what I am saying.  Also learnt that small succinct conversations (no more than 2 minutes) is what he can cope with.  Things have improved.  I now know him on a deeper level.  I use encouragement (not criticism) as this is starting to heal the frustration he feels with himself.  It's definitely a work in progress.

I am not suggesting that any of this applies to you.  What I am trying to say is that I (and you) am only one person.  There is only so much we can do.  I cannot 'iron out' any person.  I am not a miracle worker.  And I shouldn't expect myself to be.  Your older son deserves your attention too.  I have 'watched' you jump through so many hoops.  Just reading has exhausted me because I know how stressful and hard it is.  

You are an incredible mother.  Grab whatever help they offer.  And things can get ironed out.......just not as quickly as we sometimes want them to.

Love

bala

x

VJsmum

Wow bala and frith - just wow at what you do every day.  I hope that isn't insensitive, but i am awed and humbled.
Hugs mhags - i know you are a dates person like me ("this time x years ago....") sometimes its hard and sometimes its nice.  Hugs are needed for the hard days.

Some sad news yesterday - my best friend's 95 year old dad died of Sepsis and Covid.  Went into hospital with sepsis and caught covid in there (despite one round of the jab) and it was too much for him.  The man has fought off all sorts in the last few years and its such a shame that it got him now - she couldn't be there at the end and there will clearly have to be a very restricted funeral.

Pleasures for yesterday
1. remembering with a smile how her dad used to pile about 8 of us into his car to take us home from school discos!  The car was a Datsun sunny so it was a squeeze - i was frequently in the rear footwell
2. Worky work was worked.  it went ok and i got an early finish.
3. Two walks happened (don't tell the PM).  One was a quicky at lunchtime to clear my head but i sneaked in another later as i finished early
4. Made cauliflower and garlic soup for tea with bread made by DD.  Had pancakes for afters.
5. watched a couple of episodes of Peaky Blinders.

Have a good day all - 3 hours work for me this morning but it should be a bit "money for old rope".

balabooberlies

Sorry for loss VJ.....

big hug and kiss

x