Wife doesn't love me anymore

LeesArt

Read the thread from the begining, there is no discussing anything with this drug addict, time to sort her out once and for all.

No discussion, it just puts her on alert.

There is no hope of reconciliation because she has admitted she never loved him in the first place and only used him to pay for IVF then to pay for roof and kids and so on.

It is over, we all see it, the only person not to see it is the OP who has just thrown away six months of his life.

I have no doubt that she will play every card to dump him when his job is at risk, OP has to consider the kids and what is best for them.

Report her when she is next travelling with drugs and get it on record.

Could raise concerns with Social Services but they will just discuss it with her and again put her on the offensive.

Tabbytabitha

Just to supply a bit of balance, taking cocaine once a month doesn't make someone a drug addict. Plenty of recreational users take it more often than that and it doesn't help the OP to exaggerate the scale of the problem.

I'm not saying it's a good thing (and I 've never used it myself) but I think lots of people are going over the top with their reactions to this and I don't think it's helpful.

Ivrytwr3

I don't think she's a drug addict, she's smoking pot frequently, doing coke once a month and visited a festival with drugs. She seems to be a recreation user and rightly or wrongly this is the norm for some people's lives and not just low lives, regular people too! Look at city workers, high flyers, celebs etc.

However, she has a family and it looks like she is still trying to enjoy herself without thinking of the family - she's very selfish in my view.

I understand where you are coming from, you have tried to be understanding, you have tried to make things work, but it seems to no avail.

Maybe find your own place, take the kids and let her get this out of her system, but the way she is going on can only be damaging everybody in your household - she isn't a mum/wife, she;s behaving like she is having a mid-life crisis and you are enabling her.

LeesArt

LeesArt wrote: »

Most people who take drugs are extremely defensive, living in denial and dismissing the real harm they do.
.

In my opinion there is no such thing as a recreational drug user, they are all addicts, some may be in remission, just like cancer.

Some people make excuses for them or suggest that the harm is not as bad or terrible as it really is, they usually have their own motives. Maybe they have taken drugs themselves or they have a family member who does or they could have just fallen for all these "legalisation will make it better" BS.

I have seen people in the city who supposedly take them with no harm; well they all crashed out, most of them lost what they had because they were snorting their income or buying it for their crowd.

The fact that there are mothers who take drugs does not make it acceptable, it is NEVER acceptable.

If you read the thread you will see the OP does not have the self belief or guts to get his own place and take the kids, to be honest why should he, she is the despicable one. Not just for the drugs although they are bad enough, the whole relationship is based on deceit and it was always doomed to fail.

This leech will kick his !!!! to the curb as soon as she believes the money train has no more to give.

He has been a doormat from the beginning, he needs to gather the strength to put an end to this once and for all (as outlined above), getting her pinched will actually do her a favour. She can get her own place and subject to approval by social services and caffcass she will be allowed to play an equal part in their lives if she can get her act together.

PeacefulWaters

LeesArt wrote: »

In my opinion there is no such thing as a recreational drug user, they are all addicts, some may be in remission, just like cancer.

Some might find your cancer comparison to drug abuse a little irritating.

System

LeesArt wrote: »

Report her when she is next travelling with drugs and get it on record.

Oh that's going to sit well with their kids. Jeez.

LeesArt

Yes in the end her kids will see it for what it is, done for their benefit.

Gavin83

LeesArt wrote: »

In my opinion there is no such thing as a recreational drug user, they are all addicts, some may be in remission, just like cancer.

I'm willing to bet you are the sort of person who thinks someone can go out on a Friday night and have a few drinks with friends and not be considered an alcoholic? If you drink yourself your views are even more ridiculous, unless you are willing to admit to being an alcoholic. Are you?

Anyway needless to say I couldn't disagree more with your opinion, there's a vast difference between a user and an addict, even following dictionary definition. There has to be a level of dependency for an addiction to exist, this isn't apparent in this case.

OP, how long has this been going on for? Either she's always been a bit cold and frankly someone you don't want to be in a relationship with (with your head in the sand) or she's having a mid life crisis. If it's a mid life crisis then she's probably just trying to relive her youth a bit and she'll likely grow out of it at some point. It's up to you if you are willing to put up with her actions in the mean time and what you consider acceptable. Personally in your situation I'd be looking at a way out.

LeesArt

Gavin83 wrote: »

I'm willing to.<SNIP>

LeesArt wrote: »

Most people who take drugs are extremely defensive, living in denial and dismissing the real harm they do.
.

If you take the time to actually read the thread you will find the answers to your questions.

Comms69

There's a slight difference between drinking and taking class A drugs - that being the misuse of drugs act.