Getting rid of lodger...also a friend AWKWARD!

Bath_cube

I'm sorry to say this but are you and your partner stupid?. If you allow him to follow you to your new place he will never leave do you not realise this. Not only that if he did apply for social housing they can turn to him and say he isn't priority because you both informally agreed to give him shelter. Plus if he wanted to he could get help to prevent you from making him homeless in other words you won't be able to shift him in an hurry even if you wanted to. If you do tell him your next address he will be like an abandoned dog that escaped from the pound to find his way back home and howl and plead.

getmore4less

Your mad to have exchanged on a purchase with your OH without a firm agreement this bloke is not coming with you.

*~Zephyr~*

black_wings wrote: »

I may have to go back to him and drop some big hints that it would be easier all round if he made sure he found somewhere in 2 months.

This is your problem right here. Hints are going to get you nowhere. You need to be completely straight with him and say

"look, I'm sorry, but we've been more than patient with you. You've had a year to sort yourself out and find a better job and we are simply not prepared for you to come with us to the new place."

Two months is more than enough time for him to make alternative arrangements.

It would be a HUGE mistake letting him come with you. Besides, have you declared the fact that you might have someone else living with you to your mortgage company? They should be told. Google "Occupiers Consent Form".

annandale

You've told him he could come with you for a while if he needs to? Now you are posting about how to get rid. Your original post talks about being stuck offering, you've already offered!

If this situation is a mess, it's a mess you've created

McKneff

Tell him that your sister needs somewhere to live for now and she comes first

gettingtheresometime

Its easy - tell him mortgage company won't allow it


In fact it won't be a lie either - you've signed a contract to say no-one over the age of 18 can live in the house

Pollycat

*~Zephyr~* wrote: »

This is your problem right here. Hints are going to get you nowhere.

I agree with this.
Stop p u s s y footing around and tell this guy straight out:
"You are not moving with us to our new house".

The longer you leave it to tell him, the less time you are giving him to make alternative arrangements and the more unfair you are being. Not that I think he deserves 'fair'

*~Zephyr~* wrote: »

It would be a HUGE mistake letting him come with you. Besides, have you declared the fact that you might have someone else living with you to your mortgage company? They should be told. Google "Occupiers Consent Form".

Can you do something with this?

Can you tell him that if a person not on the mortgage is living in the house, you'll have to get forms signed and you don't want to mess about in case you lose the house so, even though you had originally intended to let him move into the new house for a short while, you've changed your mind?

Although personally, I'd sort this with my partner and then both sit down and tell him he'll have to find somewhere else to live and there will be no negotiations whatsoever.

black_wings

Thanks for advice people. The occupiers consent was not something I was aware of so will throw that into the mix.

Pixie5740

You don't need to make up some excuse as to why he can't move into your new home. Give an excuse and it's something he can talk you, or more likely your OH, round on. Just tell him straight that he's not going to be moving in with you and that he needs to find a new home sooner rather than later.

Pollycat

Pixie5740 wrote: »

You don't need to make up some excuse as to why he can't move into your new home. Give an excuse and it's something he can talk you, or more likely your OH, round on. Just tell him straight that he's not going to be moving in with you and that he needs to find a new home sooner rather than later.

That's what I'd have done.

Well actually, if a friend I was allowing to stay in my home for

black_wings wrote: »

a very subsidised rate.

treated it with such disdain, he'd have been long gone.

However, in view of this:

black_wings wrote: »

When we told him on the weekend about buying our own place and that he could come with us for a while if he needs to the response was 'well i don't really like that area and don't want to live there but I suppose I'll have to I've got not choice'.

they may feel they need some sort of excuse for the change of mind.

I get the impression that the OP's biggest issue may be her boyfriend - who she's called a 'sap' - who doesn't seem to want to man up and tell this friend he's not moving in to the new house.