Getting rid of lodger...also a friend AWKWARD!

Blue88

professor~yaffle wrote: »

I've never heard of this :huh:

Does it apply in England and Wales, too, or just in Scotland?

It applies in England and Wales. However, in practice most judges would not allow this, only the actual rent as "mesne profit" or occupation charges.

harrys_dad

OP I think you are speaking to the wrong person. You need to speak to your boyfriend and tell him very clearly "him or me".

I also agree with others that you should not sign contracts on the new place until the "lodger" has moved out. You yourself described your BF as "a sap", so are you sure you really want to make such a big financial and personal commitment to him? At least insist he makes the lodger go before you make that commitment.

Blue88

Perhaps if both the lodger and your boyfriend can be assured that your lodger does have options, even in London on a very low income, and actually shown these, they will both feel more assured and the lodger might start making plans.

While many landlords won't let to "DSS" there are still many larger landlords - even in London - who will, and of course landlords offering shared accommodation are more likely to let to that market. Here's somewhere your lodger can start looking: http://https://www.gumtree.com/flats-and-houses-for-rent-offered/london/dss+welcome.

Once he has an idea of which area he might move to, and an idea of what the rent will be, he can then check his entitlement to housing benefit.

Assuming he is under 35, he will only be entitled to the shared accommodation rate.

If he needs advice about housing benefit, he can try Shelter or his local Citizen's Advice.

Marvel1

black_wings wrote: »

Pollycat - I agree we have shot ourselves in the foot by being too soft. I regret the conversation now and wish we had been firmer in saying he can't come with us.
I may have to go back to him and drop some big hints that it would be easier all round if he made sure he found somewhere in 2 months.
Coincidentally he has this week off work so now would be a good time to look for a job and housing.

You let go on for12 months and now dropping hints! No hints say it straight.

exiled_red

As others have said you need to be firm with him, but I think that you need to get your boyfriend on side as it seems that he is the soft touch for his friend to get around you.

How much time does he spend with your BF, the two of you and with you and mutual friends? it could be that he could tell mutual friends that you have thrown him out which could cause problems with them.

It seems like you have both been too soft with him for too long, it seems he has no self awareness and probably thinks that in paying rent he is paying his way. He's in for a big shock when he has to move out of his subsidised situation into the real world. He obviously should have taken this opportunity to get back on his feet by getting (more work) and saving money.

I know a couple of people who have done this type of thing since leaving university both had their parents paying their rent and lived with friends of mine, all my friends got fed up and wouldn't live with them, their situation was obviously different but I'm amazed you have lasted so long living in that!

breaking_free

OP I have a very simple solution for you: show the boyfriend and the lodger this email thread.

I started a thread some time back regarding a friend's behaviour and ended up sending him a link to it when it got to around 5 pages. Problem sorted.

justme111

breaking_free wrote: »

OP I have a very simple solution for you: show the boyfriend and the lodger this email thread.

I started a thread some time back regarding a friend's behaviour and ended up sending him a link to it when it got to around 5 pages. Problem sorted.

Do you still have a friend?:D

breaking_free

justme111 wrote: »

Do you still have a friend?:D

Nope. :T Sometimes you have to drop people from your life and this was one of those occasions. Sending him the thread meant he could read other people's opinions on his behaviour. Whether he's still sticking to his guns or not I don't know, and don't care.

Malthusian

breaking_free wrote: »

Nope. :T Sometimes you have to drop people from your life and this was one of those occasions. Sending him the thread meant he could read other people's opinions on his behaviour.

If by "he" you mean the boyfriend then it's not a great example, given that we can assume the OP doesn't want to drop the boyfriend from her life. From your previous experience with this tactic you probably know that there is the possibility of a blazing row if the boyfriend is upset that she has been discussing their personal life with strangers on the Internet without telling him.

If you mean the lodger it will probably achieve zip. Why would he give up a cushy number just because some people on the Internet think he's taking the P?

Out,_Vile_Jelly

A couple of times over the years I've needed to ask friends for their sofa/spare room in between rentals. I've offered the same when others have been in similar situations. This is what friends do.

What friends DON'T do is move in permanently, fail to contribute financially, fail to help with chores, break stuff, cause disruption with kids and late night noise and then make their hosts feel bad about the guest's failed life. This guy ceased to become a friend some time ago and is now merely a rude lazy loser. Who cares what he thinks; he's not living in your new place.