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svain

Why do people get obsessed with 50/50 splits of tasks these days. Relationships are about teamwork. Different people have different strengths and sometimes one person has more strengths than the other. Why is that such a bad thing??.

System

svain wrote: »

Why do people get obsessed with 50/50 splits of tasks these days. Relationships are about teamwork. Different people have different strengths and sometimes one person has more strengths than the other. Why is that such a bad thing??.

You've answered your own question. Relationships are about teamwork not one partner sitting back and letting the other partner do all the work.

FBaby

But team work doesn't have to be 50/50 of everything. One might put more effort in one area whilst the other more in another, ie. one has a very demanding and stressful job, the other a more relaxed and pleasurable job, one does more of the chores whilst the other provides more emotional support.

OH and I don't do everything 50/50, but what matters is that we would both say that the other one is hard working and doing things for each other, even if one does more of the cooking and the other more of the gardening.

System

FBaby wrote: »

But team work doesn't have to be 50/50 of everything. One might put more effort in one area whilst the other more in another, ie. one has a very demanding and stressful job, the other a more relaxed and pleasurable job, one does more of the chores whilst the other provides more emotional support.

OH and I don't do everything 50/50, but what matters is that we would both say that the other one is hard working and doing things for each other, even if one does more of the cooking and the other more of the gardening.

But collectively the ideal is to both put in 50/50.

My own relationship on the surface would seem to look as though hubby carries me. He works full time, does the garden, diy. My job is to clean, feed, look after the dogs, cook, sort the kids, childcare for our Grandson and the list goes on. Financially, up until Christmas just gone I was paying for Christmas and birthday presents for the family too.

I'm a house wife but yes I like to think I pull my weight too.

paddy's_mum

jester55 wrote: »

Regarding being his taxi driver, I've only had to do this once so far. We've only been living where we live, with a car, for a short time. I've already told him that I'm not going to do that in the future. My grip is just general out and about driving, at weekends, visiting people, going places, renting a car on holiday.

Crikey, I missed this bit!

Are you complaining about one incident where you had to do the driving but getting horribly wound up about something that may never happen?

To allow animosity to build up over something that is within your power to alter is foolish.

Is this, actually, a power struggle or a way of asking him to 'prove' his love by giving in to your wishes?

Food for thought, perhaps...?

Gloomendoom

FBaby wrote: »

But team work doesn't have to be 50/50 of everything. One might put more effort in one area whilst the other more in another, ie. one has a very demanding and stressful job, the other a more relaxed and pleasurable job, one does more of the chores whilst the other provides more emotional support.

OH and I don't do everything 50/50, but what matters is that we would both say that the other one is hard working and doing things for each other, even if one does more of the cooking and the other more of the gardening.

Teamwork doesn't have to be 50/50 at all.

As long as everybody in the team is happy with split, it doesn't matter what the ratio is.

usernameisvalid

Judi wrote: »

But collectively the ideal is to both put in 50/50.

My own relationship on the surface would seem to look as though hubby carries me. He works full time, does the garden, diy. My job is to clean, feed, look after the dogs, cook, sort the kids, childcare for our Grandson and the list goes on. Financially, up until Christmas just gone I was paying for Christmas and birthday presents for the family too.

I'm a house wife but yes I like to think I pull my weight too.

You and I sound like we have very similar lifestyles

DH does all the gardening, DIY, car maintenance etc, I do the washing cooking cleaning etc and look after the grand kids I work for a few hours a week which is money that goes for the food shop or the coal or is saved for Christmas etc. But he's the breadwinner and has been for the past 17 years ( before that it was me )

justme111

paddy's_mum wrote: »

Crikey, I missed this bit!

Are you complaining about one incident where you had to do the driving but getting horribly wound up about something that may never happen?

To allow animosity to build up over something that is within your power to alter is foolish.

Is this, actually, a power struggle or a way of asking him to 'prove' his love by giving in to your wishes?

Food for thought, perhaps...?

He explained it was not just this incident but him having to drive always in general - on shopping trips, holidays, visits etc.
From what he written it looked to me like his partner would be still sat at TV while he cooks coming home later from gym, it is not all that clear.

svain

Exactly. If someone is demanding 50/50 then that isn't teamwork, its just demanding!!

justme111

usernameisvalid wrote: »

... look after the drank kids...

I suppose one more task parents have