To change or not to change my name?

Mojisola

Dird wrote: »

Do you remove your wedding ring before entering the workplace also?

I haven't worn my wedding ring since our wedding day.

I don't need to be known as 'Mrs" and to wear a ring to stay faithful to my husband.

fairy_lights

Dird wrote: »

Not father & kids with the same name & mother standing out like a sore thumb because she read some feminist rant.

Why would the kids automatically have the fathers name? Maybe they would have the mothers name and then it's down to the husband to change his name if he wants them all to be the same.

annandale

Poster is doing what he does best. Trolling.

Fireflyaway

If you don't dislike your new husbands name then why would you not take it on? You had a nice 'single' name and will have a nice 'married' name. If you have kids its nice to all have the same name too.

Izadora

Fireflyaway wrote: »

If you don't dislike your new husbands name then why would you not take it on?

Because, while I don't dislike it, I prefer mine

I think if we both had surnames like 'Smith' and 'Jones' it wouldn't bother me in the slightest but I'd go from being the only person with my name (certainly in this country, quite possibly worldwide) to one of who-knows-how-many.

Dird

Izadora wrote: »

I'd go from being the only person with my name (certainly in this country, quite possibly worldwide) to one of who-knows-how-many.

It has its advantages. I don't know about you but I find it annoying having to "delta indigo romeo" on the phone

selement

I have to admit when a colleague who had a lovely last name changed it when she got married I felt a bit disappointed on her behalf! It was unusual and pretty sounding and had a nice signature....
If you think you'd miss your last name too much perhaps keep or double barrell? Your husband doesn't have to match, plenty don't nowadays. Or you could legally change but be known by maiden name professionally as a compromise?

Mojisola

selement wrote: »

Or you could legally change but be known by maiden name professionally as a compromise?

This is quite common.

Women who 'take on' their husbands' names aren't legally changing their name - they are taking on an extra name and can use their married surname and their birth surname throughout their lives.

74jax

Izadora wrote: »

Did you/your spouse change names when you married and how did you decide what to do?

I'm half and half. Some banks and bills and passport in married name.

Some banks, bills and driving licence in maiden name.

Lunar_Eclipse

I took my husband's surname, so we could all share a family name when children arrived (he had no interest in changing his to mine), but the feminist in me wishes I hadn't.

I do prefer his surname, but we now have two daughters and my family name died with me, so I also slightly regret my decision - and hope my marriage survives because there is no way I'll want to keep his name if that happens, but my kids have his name.

It's a tricky one. But I objectively think the right thing to do is for both parties to keep their own names and then double barrel any future kids' names. It's quite preposterous that we still take our men's names in this day and age!