To change or not to change my name?

Primrose

Well I suppose there will never be equal recognition for women while only the male line of the aristocracy can inherit their father's titles and estates but not the females. So if a peer of the realm has two daughters and no son his estate goes out of the immediate family. No matter what your views on the aristocracy, that is appalling discrimination in this day and age.

Mojisola

Primrose wrote: »

Well I suppose there will never be equal recognition for women while only the male line of the aristocracy can inherit their father's titles and estates but not the females. So if a peer of the realm has two daughters and no son his estate goes out of the immediate family. No matter what your views on the aristocracy, that is appalling discrimination in this day and age.

And high time it was changed.

Now that the throne will be inherited by the first born, it's time the aristocracy followed the same rule.

Aced2016

I changed my name when I got married. I too had an exceptionally rare maiden name, I continuously got compliments about it ha !

But I wanted him, myself and kids all with the one surname. I was also proud to be married and proud to be his wife. I loved taking his name.

Equally a few of my friends haven't changed their names and have no intentions of doing so !

Person_one

Aced2016 wrote: »

I changed my name when I got married. I too had an exceptionally rare maiden name, I continuously got compliments about it ha !

But I wanted him, myself and kids all with the one surname. I was also proud to be married and proud to be his wife. I loved taking his name.

Why didn't your husband change his name to the rare and attractive sounding one?

Aced2016

His name would have sounded quite strange with my maiden name.

I'm also a bit old fashioned in that I wanted to take my husbands name. I appreciate times have changed ! But I still like this tradition.

svain

Aced2016 wrote: »

His name would have sounded quite strange with my maiden name.

I'm also a bit old fashioned in that I wanted to take my husbands name. I appreciate times have changed ! But I still like this tradition.

Good for you. Some tradition are a good thing

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Person_one wrote: »

Sadly, about 95% of the women I know who have got married in the last 10 years have been absolutely delighted to change their name. For a surprising number changing it on Facebook seems to be literally the first thing they do after signing the register!

There has to be better things to do at that time than checking FB - kissing the groom, for example?


I'm perfectly happy to change my name this year. Never liked carrying the name of a man who wasn't even my father, but ever found one that appealed enough to go through the hoo-ha of changing it.

This new name comes complete with a lovely bloke who wants us to spend the rest of our lives together. So I'm good with this.


In any case, the odds are I'll still be called Miss at work, whether I like it or not...I've always used Ms, but the staff at this school seem determined that Ms isn't an option for me. The kids doing it doesn't bother me at all, though; everybody's Sir or Miss as far as they're concerned.

*~Zephyr~*

maman wrote: »

I don't agree.


Like essjae said, it's part of who you are. One of the most common reasons that women choose not to change their name is for professional reasons. If you've built a reputation/well known in the workplace by a particular name then it's a bit like your 'brand'. That was my main reason for not changing my name when I married DH.


This amused me too:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2017/02/08/miriam-gonzalez-durantez-called-mrs-clegg-invite-speak-international/


Personally I don't make a fuss if someone makes a genuine mistake and assumes I use DH's name. My bank is aware so when I (rarely) get a cheque in my 'married name they are happy to pay it in. It's also useful as invariably if someone asks for Mrs DH on the phone I know it's a cold caller!:rotfl:


DH is often called by my name but he doesn't make a fuss either.;)

I think my post must have been poorly written, because I agree absolutely with you that a name is part of who you are.

What I think is trivial is the notion of changing your name to your husbands. Its such a daft idea really. I will not be changing my name when I marry in the summer.

Gloomendoom

*~Zephyr~* wrote: »

I think my post must have been poorly written, because I agree absolutely with you that a name is part of who you are.

If you took took your husband's name, it would also become part of who you are.

*~Zephyr~*

Gloomendoom wrote: »

If you took took your husband's name, it would also become part of who you are.

I disagree. The obviously Anglo-Saxon name on my birth certificate is who I am. I'm definitely not eastern European and, beautiful though his name is, it really isn't who I am.

I am the last of my family line so the name will die with me. I'm not ready to give up my identity and lose that name. No will I ever be.

I'm not a strident feminist. I've been called Mrs His-name more times than I care to remember. And he has been called Mr My-name too. Neither of us is so uptight that this would bother us at all. And I'm sure that once we are married this will happen to me all the more. Again, this won't vex me and I'd probably only correct people if was in an official capacity.

The REAL point is nothing to do with feminism. It's not about fighting against anything. Its not about being bloody-minded, or doing it just to annoy men. There's just no real need for the name change to happen anymore - most countries don't have / have never had this 'tradition' - so really, why bother? Its a lot of hassle for no real gain.

It is interesting how upset men get when its suggested that they change their name to create one 'unit'. You'd think, given that they feel so strongly about their own, that they would understand how much a woman's name can mean to her.

Oh and a final point - I'm currently tracing my family tree and honestly, it would be SO much easier to do if women didn't keep changing their names!! :rotfl: