Am I being over sensitive

Thinkthin

I would be sad too...more so the fact that he didn't mention that he watches it.

I wouldn't be happy if my partner kept it from me

POPPYOSCAR

Lily-Rose wrote: »

This ^^^ :T

If I caught my husband cheating, it would be game over. No second chances, no way. If you want to be with someone else, then LEAVE, don't treat your partner with contempt! Lying and cheating and scheming, and making them look and feel a fool. Not to mention the fact that you are doing things with this person that you should be doing with your partner. Gross. People who cheat on their partner are scum IMO. The lowest of the low.




Exactly. Very weird. I am not saying people who watch it are awful people, but if someone is only staying faithful to their partner because they're watching !!!!!!, that is very worrying and disturbing.

Pretty annoyed at how people are mocking and laughing at people who say their husband doesn't watch !!!!!!, like they're some kind of moron who is too stupid to function. It's possible he may not be. And even if he is, what's wrong with her believing he isn't?



The thought of watching a porno with my husband makes me cringe. And don't even get me started on watching it with a group of people. It's like I would never go to a party that sells sex aids, nor would I go to a strip show. Call me a prude I don't care; it's not for me. Like swinging; I would die if my husband suggested that, and think there was DEFINITELY something wrong in our marriage. Swinging is just WEIRD. (IMO.)

I do remember someone saying a while back (on a message forum I think,) that their husband bullied her into swinging, and he was apparently oblivious to the fact that he would be swapping a fat frumpy 52 year old woman for another fat frumpy 52 year old woman. He was under the bizarre illusion that he was going to get a slender, firm, sexy young 23 year old. :rotfl:

He also thought no-one would want her, and several men did. He sat it out and didn't have sex with any of the women, whilst she had sex with one of the men. The marriage broke up soon after as he couldn't handle the jealousy. #awkward

Yes it is strange how some posters insist that somehow just because they are into !!!!!! that everyone else is as well or they are lying if they say they are not.

POPPYOSCAR

alwaysskint96 wrote: »

So for the women on here that say their partners never watch !!!!!!- have you never watched it yourself- or even worse shock horror used a vibrator alone?

No I have never watched !!!!!! or used a vibrator.

Why do you use the words shock horror?

If people want to use a vibrator that is up to them, do not make out that those of us who do not need to are somehow prudes.

FBaby

I don't know why this thread had turned into a !!!!!! vs no !!!!!! thread. This is not what it is about. OP' boyfriend has not forced her into watching it herself not even mentioned it. SHE found out in questionable ways that he was watching it and is upset about it when actually she should respect that it is choice to do so.

Her being upset about it is a reflection of HER insecurities not that he is doing something he shouldn't. It might very well stop anyway when they move in together but ultimately it was wrong to bring up the matter in a tone that implied that he'd been caught doing something wrong.

System

FBaby wrote: »

I don't know why this thread had turned into a !!!!!! vs no !!!!!! thread. This is not what it is about. OP' boyfriend has not forced her into watching it herself not even mentioned it. SHE found out in questionable ways that he was watching it and is upset about it when actually she should respect that it is choice to do so.

Her being upset about it is a reflection of HER insecurities not that he is doing something he shouldn't. It might very well stop anyway when they move in together but ultimately it was wrong to bring up the matter in a tone that implied that he'd been caught doing something wrong.

She asked if she was being over sensitive. People gave their views. Did you expect one word answers?

Personally I think it's deeply disrespectful to lust over another woman when your in a relationship but I'm well aware that men are visual creatures where women are concerned.

Mojisola

FBaby wrote: »

Her being upset about it is a reflection of HER insecurities

So the only reason a woman wouldn't like her partner using !!!!!! is because she is insecure?

justme111

Mojisola wrote: »

So the only reason a woman wouldn't like her partner using !!!!!! is because she is insecure?

Not really. Could be because their sex life is not gtreat and she blames !!!!!! for it. Could be that she is afraid of unknown. Could be because she just does not like it , like one may not like porridge. Strange she would object to her bf eating that porridge though in such a sanctimonious way - " I am not smiling"
She could be judgemental, intolerant, narrow minded and disrespectful as well - either of those or in any combination.
It does not involve other person, images on the screen may well be with faces blanked out so it is not even a picture of another person. So any arguments on the lines of lusting after someone else are misplaced. So it boils down to how much you believe would be fair for one being antagonistic towards other's passtimes. If they impact on their lifestyle like constant TV or pc games I understand; if not - no reason to object. I accept some passtimes msy be revolting to others ( collecting maggots and gaving them crawl on you in the shed for example). I accept a particular woman may be disgusted by !!!!!! to the extent of rejecting her bf over it. It is her own preference tvough which does not have any higher justification other than she does not like it. So her acting indignantly is baseless and a sign that she does not understand that her own preferences do not mean it is the only right way.

FBaby

.

Personally I think it's deeply disrespectful to lust over another woman when your in a relationship but I'm well aware that men are visual creatures where women are concerned.

As you say is your personal view. Many women don't consider it disrespectful though.

Mojisola

justme111 wrote: »

Not really. She could be judgemental, intolerant, narrow minded and disrespectful as well - either of those or in any combination.

I accept a particular woman may be disgusted by !!!!!! to the extent of rejecting her bf over it. It is her own preference tvough which does not have any higher justification other than she does not like it.

So her acting indignantly is baseless and a sign that she does not understand that her own preferences do not mean it is the only right way.

Quite. There could be a whole range of reasons why a woman (or a man) would not like their partner to be using !!!!!!.

If her/his preference is for a partner who doesn't use !!!!!!, that's a valid stance - not the 'only right way' but 'the only right way for her/him'. If the current partner does use it and doesn't want to stop, it could be a reason for a split.

To keep a relationship going, we have to make compromises about the things we don't like but we all have some sticking points - just because something means more to us than to the general population doesn't make our stance wrong.

I think that most men do use !!!!!! or have good imaginations but the say that any woman who doesn't like her partner using it is insecure or judgemental, intolerant, narrow minded and disrespectful is 'judgemental, intolerant, narrow minded and disrespectful' of her views.

justme111

Indeed. If a particular woman has an objection to a man watching !!!!!! she should not act righteous and indignant as op and many others do. Because acting so means she believes she is right and he is wrong.