14 years I feel Ive wasted,not sure how to cope

DigForVictory

<Passes the vino, chocolates & a handful of DVDs.>
On here, I am. Right nagging one too - what time's the locksmith due & does your work know you need to be home in time for him?

This weekend, stuff the diet & think about pouring bleach into his slippers...
No vengeful fantasy is off-limits, but share the juicier ones.
Just don't act on them.
Got caller display? Helps screen incoming calls, in case.
((Big hugs))

my-user-name

DigForVictory wrote: »

<Passes the vino, chocolates & a handful of DVDs.>
On here, I am. Right nagging one too - what time's the locksmith due & does your work know you need to be home in time for him?

This weekend, stuff the diet & think about pouring bleach into his slippers...
No vengeful fantasy is off-limits, but share the juicier ones.
Just don't act on them.
Got caller display? Helps screen incoming calls, in case.
((Big hugs))

Ive given him till Wednesday to clear his stuff so on Monday I will phone work and ask for a few days off as annual leave,just really don't want to give them the reason
Yep got caller display thankfully.
The diet was stuffed about 2 hours ago.....Ive not finished yet! Thankfully where Slimming World is concerned I'm very focused so one night of whatever I fancy wont harm me

elona

There were some revenge stories about someone who had rubbed chilli in his boxers , or itching powder but you are too nice a person and would not want to do anything that lowers you.

Maybe as a fantasy?

AnnieO1234

This is most perplexing. You were essentially happily in love until his very recent very fast about turn. I suppose only time will tell, but his comment about feeling empty inside makes me think he's in some sort of crisis as opposed to there being an affair or something.

I can only talk for me obviously, but if my hubby did the same I would be concerned for him and let him know I was here if he needed to talk; I would tell him I didn't understand how things can change so fast and I would tell him I was concerned about his empty comment. It seems like an awfully irrational thing for him to have done.

=(

my-user-name

elona wrote: »

There were some revenge stories about someone who had rubbed chilli in his boxers , or itching powder but you are too nice a person and would not want to do anything that lowers you.

Maybe as a fantasy?

Ive been thinking along those lines elona,lots of senarios!.
At least my heads still held high,not sure if I would of been like that if he actually had stayed to say goodbye to me instead of slinking off out of the front door without a backward glance.

my-user-name

AnnieO1234 wrote: »

This is most perplexing. You were essentially happily in love until his very recent very fast about turn. I suppose only time will tell, but his comment about feeling empty inside makes me think he's in some sort of crisis as opposed to there being an affair or something.

I can only talk for me obviously, but if my hubby did the same I would be concerned for him and let him know I was here if he needed to talk; I would tell him I didn't understand how things can change so fast and I would tell him I was concerned about his empty comment. It seems like an awfully irrational thing for him to have done.

=(

I did say to him I couldn't understand why this has suddenly happened and he said he dosent know why he feels this way but he has to go.He mentioned he has to leave because he was making me unhappy,HELL I WASNT!! I was my usual old self and nothing changed on my part,well not up till the beginning of January that is.
Once we had the bit of a barney I decided for once I wouldn't be the one to try and smooth it over so I stood my ground and said nothing to him hoping that he would say "lets sort things out" "Maybe deep down I knew he wouldn't make the first move because hes never done that before,its always me who hates the silent treatment so its always me to say" lets talk".But even then we didn't actually talk things through,I was willing to,he wasnt,hed just say "lets forget it" and then we,d be fine once more.
It does get draining when its the same person smoothing things over.
It might sound as if we was always rowing,thats definatly not the case.Hes just one of those men who refuses to open up and discus things,he admits he was the excat same with his ex wife all those years ago.

Aced2016

Keep your head up and stay classy !!

Keep in touch with the boys by all means, you've been a big part of their lives. And don't be bitter, you had good times. Just remember you tried all you could, you were loyal, you got on with his kids ! Your a Diamond and he's lost that !

So know your worth!!! You don't need him, be by yourself, work on healing and building your confidence back up. Then meet someone who deserves love and loyalty !! Because when it's far too late he will realise that in this day and age it's almost Impossible to find that.

Good luck to you, but please don't let it get you angry. One door closes and another one opens xx

my-user-name

Aced2016 wrote: »

Keep your head up and stay classy !!

Keep in touch with the boys by all means, you've been a big part of their lives. And don't be bitter, you had good times. Just remember you tried all you could, you were loyal, you got on with his kids ! Your a Diamond and he's lost that !

So know your worth!!! You don't need him, be by yourself, work on healing and building your confidence back up. Then meet someone who deserves love and loyalty !! Because when it's far too late he will realise that in this day and age it's almost Impossible to find that.

Good luck to you, but please don't let it get you angry. One door closes and another one opens xx

Heads held high right now Aced,for now anyway.
Oh I will defiantly stay in touch with the boys,I have to give him up but I'm not giving up the lads,hell I love them like my own,cracking lads for sure.
I was defiantly loyal to him,too loyal I suppose.Just telling family and friends isn't a option right now,not until I can get my head around all of this.
Last week I was in work knowing he was leaving today,it crucified me but I did good and none of my work collegues had a clue what I was thinking and going through.In a way I felt proud that I managed it.If they would of known then I would of been breaking down every 2 mins and I definatly didn't want that.Just got to think of a good reason to take time from work this week without telling them the truth??
I know some time in the future someone just right for me will arrive in my life but for now(and the next 2 years at least) I'm just going to concentrate on myself and the things which make me happy.
Thanks so much to all the posters who has answered my post,considering how devastated I was feeling this morning I can now honestly say I feel a lot better.Now that might be the extra naughty food Ive had today,tomorrow I will be back on good food and will stay focused.Bless you all xx

PeacefulWaters

I'd change the locks now

I've only skim read, but if you're thinking of following up on this suggestion get legal advice first.

Peccary

The best revenge is to start planning to move on in my opinion. I don't mean to a new relationship, rather getting on with living! You have to go through the mourning period but give yourself things to look forward to. Say yes to every invitation, try something new!
One of the first things I did at the end of a 5+ year relationship was book a flight somewhere I really wanted to grand went by myself (the ex had never been keen)
Don't try too hard to hide it from your nearest and dearest or work, people will come through for you! My old boss actually gave me a few days extra leave to get away and sort my head out!