14 years I feel Ive wasted,not sure how to cope

my-user-name

elona wrote: »

He is in for one hell of a shock when he finds out what rent and bills really cost, never mind food and repairs etc.

It does not sound as if he has really grown up while you have a good head on your shoulders.

I would bet good money that he will try to come back when he finds the grass is not greener or fails to find someone else to quickly provide him a home, home comforts and the appreciation he feels is his due.

You deserve so much better and please take care of yourself.

The way he left by sidling out of the door like a snake does not suggest maturity or decency (Can you tell I have taken a real scunner to him?)

Scrunner.....Ive not heard that word in years lol
Oh I know he,ll be in for a shock when reality hits him financially,him being a tight sod at the best of times it will hit him hard .
At the back of my mind I honestly feel he wanted or expected me to allow him to stay but once he said those words theres no way I wanted him here.
I was awake last night and stayed in the living room,it was around 7am when I nodded off on the chair.....30 mins later and he was gone so he must of really crept around,I didn't even hear the door shut behind him

Pollycat

my-user-name wrote: »

Your right I should say sod everyone else.For today anyway I'm going to do !!!!!! all and I mean !!!!!! all,tomorrow I'm going to clean my home from top to bottom,I always feel good when I do that.

Take a tip from Nellie Forbush:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zzu8ZxBHMWk

my-user-name

Top_Girl wrote: »

You should be able to keep in touch with them then, always nice.

You do right. Drag out some favourite books/dvds and get on the sofa with tea/wine (but not too much) and your favourite comfort food and have a you night.

I definatly want to keep in touch with them both,such awesome lads indeed.
Definatly dvd night for me(but no Bridget Jones!) and for tonight only I,ll forget all about counting syns,Im sure my consultant at Slimming World would understand.

my-user-name

Pollycat wrote: »

Take a tip from Nellie Forbush:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zzu8ZxBHMWk

Wash him out of my hair,I,d drown the !!!!!! first lol
Crikey my sense of humour popped out then,things might not be so bad after all.

Pollycat

my-user-name wrote: »

Wash him out of my hair,I,d drown the !!!!!! first lol
Crikey my sense of humour popped out then,things might not be so bad after all.

YAY! :T

I did say I wasn't very good on the "touchy-feely, hugging sort of stuff".

AnnieO1234

I know I might be shot down for this but is there any chance he's having some sort of crisis? Maybe a depression? Maybe even a poor diagnosis?

gayle.

Sorry to butt in but did he leave his key? If not, change the locks. When my ex moved out I didn't realised he'd copied the front door key. Turns out he was coming and going as he was pleasing and taking stuff that belonged to me when he knew I wasn't there

my-user-name

AnnieO1234 wrote: »

I know I might be shot down for this but is there any chance he's having some sort of crisis? Maybe a depression? Maybe even a poor diagnosis?

Its ok Annnie,its entered my mind too,also has he got another woman and things like that.
He has changed over the past month or two although his opening up and talking things through has been like this for a very long time.
It was the other night of me trying to find out the reasons of him falling out of love with me that he said

I have tried my upmost to make him happy
He realises hes a selfish person
He only wants to start thinking about himself
He admitted hes very stubborn indeed.
I could not of tried any harder with him

Ive even thought that maybe hes got some really bad illness and he dosent want me to know about it,just stupid things like that .
I'm not sure if he was being truthful with his words from the other night or maybe he was saying what I wanted to hear,just not sure but he has definatly changed so much in such a little time

my-user-name

gayle. wrote: »

Sorry to butt in but did he leave his key? If not, change the locks. When my ex moved out I didn't realised he'd copied the front door key. Turns out he was coming and going as he was pleasing and taking stuff that belonged to me when he knew I wasn't there

The majority of his stuff is still here right now Gayle so yes he still has a key.
I told him to remove it all by Wednesday at the latest and to do this while I'm in work.
First thing Thursday morning I will change the locks.

fierystormcloud

14 years together, never married, not any real financial commitments together, and the house was yours. Did he never want to take the relationship further, or commit more? Did you not ever want to? Sorry to be nosey; I just find it hard to fathom a couple being together 14 years, and be living almost like flatmates, rather than a loving couple.

As a few people have said on here, he sounds immature and like he's had it good for years, and you sound like you could do better.

Agree with Gayle, change the locks. Despite what a couple of people have said though, I don't think he has any right to anything, as you weren't married.

Good luck to you. I hope you'll be OK.