Am I being too selfish?

Ozzuk

It could take you months, if not years to get into Canada, it is a lot of work. Perhaps he isn't taking you seriously at the moment. Rather than making what can appear to be an empty threat, and as I said earlier in this thread, you should be looking into and progressing your application. Once he sees you are actually trying to go through with this he may take it more seriously and perhaps even come round to the idea. Or, it may give you both chance to come to terms with what is likely the end of the relationship and hopefully if it does end it will be more as friends (for the sake of the children if nothing else).

At the moment everything is raw, emotion based, so proper discussions will be hard. Start working on your dream (openly so he knows what you are doing) - you may find you can't so why push things right now.

heartbreak_star

It's definitely sounding like he is the selfish one.

HBS x

fab_and_frugal

Thanks so much everyone.
I feel a bit clearer in my head over the past few days, and I know I have got a lot of thinking to do and a big decision to make sometime soon.
I really appreciate all your support and the time you've given to my situation.
Sending big hugs
xx

Lunar_Eclipse

I've read the whole thread.

My initial thought was that you should give it a go, but hold off making any major decision regarding your marriage, since you have no need to do that.

... I still think this is the best course of action. I would go now for a long fact finding trip (3 or 6 month holiday visas?) and then formally apply after that if you are still set on going. You will have a much better idea of whether you'll really like it or not (find a non paying volunteer job along nursing lines too) and how you feel without your husband.

I really don't like how your husband has handled this at all; the 'lying' was bad enough, but what's come since is what I'd find completely unforgivable. He's not appearing remorseful, respectful or caring. I also don't think he's being fair in his stance of not giving it a try after you have shelved your dream for so long either. Is this his way of saying the marriage is over? I'd definitely be asking that question.

Good luck.