Am I being too selfish?

FBaby

Is it really that easy to get working visa to Canada? It's almost impossible to get them for the USA and clearly will only be worse now and might be the same with Canada with many Americans probably electing to move there.

I agree with above post might as well start the process and see if it takes you anywhere as the whole issue might be redundant anyway.

Person_one

FBaby wrote: »

Is it really that easy to get working visa to Canada? It's almost impossible to get them for the USA and clearly will only be worse now and might be the same with Canada with many Americans probably electing to move there.

Depending on your job/skills it can be. Health professionals, people with STEM qualifications, certain trades etc. are shortage occupations and are welcomed with open arms.

fab_and_frugal

Thanks again everyone.
Canada is my dream and is the only place I have seriously considered moving to; however my son is right that we should - IF we do apply and are not accepted - look into alternatives, but it's not really something I've given a lot of thought tbh.

Visas aren't particularly easy to come by but I'm a nurse so it's usually on a list somewhere of jobs that are in demand, so that helps. No guarantees obviously but I'd think we'd be in a reasonably good position if we went as a family.

OH has never once mentioned he's concerned about leaving his parents behind. I'm not suggesting he wouldn't miss them and I'm absolutely sure he loves them, but I would be surprised if they are a factor in him staying. I don't want to start picking holes in his relationship with his parents, but let's just say he only sees them if strongly encouraged to do so.

xx

dirty_magic

OH has never once mentioned he's concerned about leaving his parents behind. I'm not suggesting he wouldn't miss them and I'm absolutely sure he loves them, but I would be surprised if they are a factor in him staying. I don't want to start picking holes in his relationship with his parents, but let's just say he only sees them if strongly encouraged to do so.

Whatever his reasons, he doesn't want to go. It doesn't sound like either of you are going to budge, so the crux of the matter is still that you are going to have to decide whether to go without him.

Neither of you are right or wrong about this. It's a very personal opinion, so it's pointless him trying to convince you you're wrong to leave or you trying to convince him he's wrong to stay.

jackieblack

If you were to stay and give up your dream of emigrating, would the resentment you would feel towards your husband kill your marriage anyway?

peachyprice

Mojisola wrote: »

Why doesn't she just stay at home if she hates it so much?

Your Dad would probably enjoy the trip more on his own and he could use the money saved on her ticket to stay for a bit longer or to have two trips a year.

She would quite happily, but he won't go without her. When they were living there she used to come back 2-3 times a year by herself, he came back with her twice.

peachyprice

FBaby wrote: »

But that doesn't explain why she hated it so much then if indeed, it's the people in your life who make you happy when she had her husband and children with her for 7 years there yet continue not to dislike it, but hate it.

She has one child, and one grandchild that she's never been particularly close to, there. Here she has her whole family of child, grandchildren, sisters, uncles cousins, aunts etc.

LadyDee

Jackieboy wrote: »

Despite the OP saying that she's always wanted to move to Canada, it now seems to be that she'd be just as happy to move to Australia, leaving her husband behind in either case, because he wants to stay in the UK.

Why would Australia (without her husband) be her second choice if she can't get into her dream country rather than keeping her family together and staying in the UK?

It seems to me that she's set on emigrating anywhere if she can't fulfil her long held dream of Canada, even knowing that her husband won't leave with her.

Emigrating to Australia will not be easy if her husband is still here, if she doesn't have the right skills required, does not have sufficient funds, and will have to pass very strict medical. Australia changes its skills requirements regularly and OP will need to demonstrate that she fulfils very strict criteria to stand any sort of chance of being accepted out there.

Person_one

LadyDee wrote: »

Emigrating to Australia will not be easy if her husband is still here, if she doesn't have the right skills required, does not have sufficient funds, and will have to pass very strict medical. Australia changes its skills requirements regularly and OP will need to demonstrate that she fulfils very strict criteria to stand any sort of chance of being accepted out there.

British nurses can stroll into Australia any time they fancy.

In fact they are doing so, in droves, its a bit of a problem for us to be honest!

fab_and_frugal

Thanks LadyDee - as I said I've not looked into Australia (or anywhere else except Canada), it was just an alternative suggested by my son during one of the family's "what can we do to increase our chances of being accepted to Canada" discussions

jackieblack wrote: »

If you were to stay and give up your dream of emigrating, would the resentment you would feel towards your husband kill your marriage anyway?

- Jackie, this is what I'm most afraid of.

Thanks everyone. As I said I think we're beyond the stage of convincing my OH to go and I am very much aware that visas (Canada or anywhere else) are not guaranteed.

My original post asked if I was being selfish as this is what my OH said when he finally admitted that he had been misleading me. I just wondered what others thought as I couldn't see how it was selfish to want my family (including OH) to have the life we've talked about for literally decades, but he seems to think that now that he's "come clean" I should just accept things as they are and do what he wants to do (i.e. not emigrate).

I really appreciate everyone's point of view. My head is still spinning with the whole situation and will be for some time I think.

xx