Paying the bill when dating

Kim_kim

selement wrote: »

These old fashioned women - I wonder how they'd feel if they got married to these men who pay for the dates and their husband expected them to do all the housework, give up their career and raise babies! Nothing wrong with choosing to do that but the expectation may be considered a little offensive?

Yes! I'm not in a relationship & haven't been for a couple of years. But if I was it would be an equal partnership.
Any man who wanted a "traditional woman" aka skivvy wouldn't suit me.
Modern men aren't like that. But middle aged & over men still have a lot of dinosaur ideas in many of them.

ripplyuk

Kim_kim wrote: »

Yes! I'm not in a relationship & haven't been for a couple of years. But if I was it would be an equal partnership.
Any man who wanted a "traditional woman" aka skivvy wouldn't suit me.
Modern men aren't like that. But middle aged & over men still have a lot of dinosaur ideas in many of them.

Relationships can still be equal even if one partner pays more. It's not just about money.

janb5

jamiehelsinki wrote: »

My only really picky requirement is I don't like short hair, I hardly think I'm limited my options with this one, plenty of women don't have short hair.

Age range 33-43 is fair I think.(I'm in the middle).

I have a full head of hair cut every 2/3weeks, full set of white teeth, 30 inch waste I keep myself fit, can hold a decent conversation, I'm not a total gremlin to look at. Lol

It`s " waist" not " waste"!

unholyangel

justme111 wrote: »

All of the above said from the perspective of female long term pof user who had 3 long term relationships from it (in a couple now) and been known to have both superattractive and bikini pictures on at times.

Surely that all depends on who's looking at them?

Kim_kim wrote: »

Yes! I'm not in a relationship & haven't been for a couple of years. But if I was it would be an equal partnership.
Any man who wanted a "traditional woman" aka skivvy wouldn't suit me.
Modern men aren't like that. But middle aged & over men still have a lot of dinosaur ideas in many of them.

I was in total agreement with your post until that part. Although I suppose in a way you're right, modern men don't expect women to stay at home and cook & clean all day.....some expect them to work full time AND do all the cooking & cleaning on top of that. Wouldn't stand for it personally (like you, I think it should be an equal partnership - not necessarily 5050 in everything but equal) but many do.



As for the OP, personally I'd prefer to split it. If it progressed to regular dating then I'd probably be happier taking turns paying (but would still be happy to split also). Really wouldn't feel comfortable having someone picking up my tab. I like paying my own way.

I'll be honest and say if a guy was unemployed, it would probably be an immediate no. But thats not because I would want him to fund my lifestyle - rather I wouldn't want to be funding his. Wouldn't really care what the job title or salary were providing it was enough to live at least comfortably - I realised years ago that no one lays on their death bed wishing they'd earned more money, they always want more time. Although I suppose money is like air - more important the less you have.

Now to the real question.....if you's decide to split it, do you each pay for what you had or do you go 5050? How much do you tip and do you split the tip or (if they're a bit of a tightwad tip wise) do you make up the shortfall? :eek:

zagfles

Kim_kim wrote: »

Yes! I'm not in a relationship & haven't been for a couple of years. But if I was it would be an equal partnership.
Any man who wanted a "traditional woman" aka skivvy wouldn't suit me.
Modern men aren't like that. But middle aged & over men still have a lot of dinosaur ideas in many of them.

And women too, have you read this thread??

zagfles

ripplyuk wrote: »

Relationships can still be equal even if one partner pays more. It's not just about money.

They can. One partner may earn more than the other, it's more about attitude.

But the idea that a relationship where both partners are "mortified" at the prospect of the woman paying for anything in public :eek: can ever be "equal" is quite frankly hilarious :rotfl:

consumers_revenge

Been with the misses 13 years now.

Does this mean I can stop paying for every time we go out now?

getmore4less

janb5 wrote: »

It`s " waist" not " waste"!

30" waste that's some AH.

AubreyMac

Dird wrote: »

My conclusion from this thread is Jamiehelsinki should go on a date with AubreyMac

I have short hair

Lily-Rose_3

Kim_kim wrote: »

Yes! I'm not in a relationship & haven't been for a couple of years. But if I was it would be an equal partnership.
Any man who wanted a "traditional woman" aka skivvy wouldn't suit me.
Modern men aren't like that. But middle aged & over men still have a lot of dinosaur ideas in many of them.

unholyangel wrote: »

I was in total agreement with your post until that part. Although I suppose in a way you're right, modern men don't expect women to stay at home and cook & clean all day.....some expect them to work full time AND do all the cooking & cleaning on top of that. Wouldn't stand for it personally (like you, I think it should be an equal partnership - not necessarily 5050 in everything but equal) but many do.

This ^ Agree with unholyangel wholeheartedly. It's a total myth that modern men aren't like that (by 'modern' I assume you mean younger kimkim?) They are not not all like that of course, but then not all men who are middle aged and older are like that either!

My daughter said some of the most sexist men that she and her pals know are the ones who are their generation (18-28,) and the gentlemen who offer to do things for them are older men (over 40.)

My niece was telling me the other day that her boyfriend (26,) who she lives with is a lovely lad, he rarely complains about anything, thinks the world of her, and has bought her some lovely gifts for her birthdays and Christmases. But even HE has this mindset that the woman does the housework, and comes out with the hilarious chestnuts that every woman loves... 'I've taken out the trash for you,' 'I've done the washing up for you,' etc etc.

And if she comes in from doing a bit of shopping, he informs her that he has done the hoovering and dusting, and tidied the kitchen cupboards. Like he has done her a favour. My hubby does this sometimes too. In fact, this does seem to be a 'man' thing! I can never figure out if they want compliments or a medal for it, or whether they are saying 'I've done it because YOU didn't do it.' Either way, why mention it?!

Anyway, going off topic here. My niece is literally having to educate her boyfriend to help him learn that housework and associated chores is NOT THE WOMAN'S RESPONSIBILITY. She works too, so why should it all be up to her?!

zagfles wrote: »

They can. One partner may earn more than the other, it's more about attitude.

But the idea that a relationship where both partners are "mortified" at the prospect of the woman paying for anything in public :eek: can ever be "equal" is quite frankly hilarious :rotfl:

Exactly. It's not always necessary to split everything 50/50 financially. Me and hubby have been out before to the pub or for a meal, with a couple who pay exactly half for everything, and have the calculator there to make sure one doesn't pay more than the other. Right down to the last penny! 'Well you had 3 glasses of wine and a coke and a coffee, that's twelve quid, but I only had 2 glasses of wine, 2 cokes, and a coffee, so mine is only £10.50!. Seriously! :eek:

We just have all income going into one account, then we withdraw thirty quid or so for a night at the pub, I keep it in my purse, and we just pay together. I could never be in a relationship like this couple ... We know several similar couples too, and in one of the couples, he earns 50% more than her, yet still makes her pay half for everything. She is potless most of the time, and he is constantly spending on luxuries for himself. They're 38 and 42, so neither old nor young. All couples have been together 15 to 25 years.