Paying the bill when dating

Fireflyaway

2 adult strangers ( nearly) eating / drinking. Makes sense to split the bill. Back in the days if the woman didn't work or was paid a lot less ( as was common) I can see why a man would offer but not today. Can't even take in turns invade there isn't a second date. I think its just politeness to share the load.

jamiehelsinki

gettingready wrote: »

:eek::eek::eek:

oh dear, and you wonder why?

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

The spelling mistake was pointed out a few days back!

ziggy2004

I am a woman in my late 30's and would be happier to agree beforehand to split the bill. That way there is no confusion and you both know where you stand.

As for people misrepresenting themselves I guess that happens all the time on these sites but if you know you are splitting the bill at least you get a nice meal out of it with no strings attached.

Runningfast

A few years ago I went on a date with a girl I met on POF.

Lets just say at the bill paying time it was awkward. She picked the venue, I had never been there the date wasn't even in my town I travelled to her town (40mins on the train) she ordered a few expensive drinks think nearly £20 a time cocktails and also picked a bottle of wine that was nearly £30 quid. The whole bill came in at over £100 for the meal.

The bill arrived and she sat there expecting me pay. I asked her if she wanted to share? She said she didn't have enough money. I paid up and left

There are some people just out there for a free meal and night out unfortunately!!

System

Runningfast wrote: »

A few years ago I went on a date with a girl I met on POF.

Lets just say at the bill paying time it was awkward. She picked the venue, I had never been there the date wasn't even in my town I travelled to her town (40mins on the train) she ordered a few expensive drinks think nearly £20 a time cocktails and also picked a bottle of wine that was nearly £30 quid. The whole bill came in at over £100 for the meal.

The bill arrived and she sat there expecting me pay. I asked her if she wanted to share? She said she didn't have enough money. I paid up and left

There are some people just out there for a free meal and night out unfortunately!!

Thats shameful. She ought to be ashamed of herself. My Son has done a bit of online dating. The only women he met were complete and utter nutcases.

Shame really.

zagfles

Runningfast wrote: »

A few years ago I went on a date with a girl I met on POF.

Lets just say at the bill paying time it was awkward. She picked the venue, I had never been there the date wasn't even in my town I travelled to her town (40mins on the train) she ordered a few expensive drinks think nearly £20 a time cocktails and also picked a bottle of wine that was nearly £30 quid. The whole bill came in at over £100 for the meal.

The bill arrived and she sat there expecting me pay. I asked her if she wanted to share? She said she didn't have enough money. I paid up and left

There are some people just out there for a free meal and night out unfortunately!!

I'd have just left half and walked out!

zagfles

Kim_kim wrote: »

Annual service........

Frightening. Hope you live nowhere near me.

zagfles

justme111 wrote: »

You forget that however equal they are not the same. Are pears and oranges equal? Yes they are but they are not the same! They taste differently and behave differently! There will be NO sense of entitlement u obligation because both will know that although they both enjoyed each other's company equally it is a man's virtue to be a provider and at this stage of a relationship to spread his plumage for female to see what he can offer. It has nothing to do with politics , it is biology and natural selection
I am sure you chosen your second half on a basis of how generous she was with her money paying for your dates , does work differently usually.

"Spread his plumage" :rotfl:Birds might do that, the brighly coloured male putting on an elaborate display for the drab boring female, but personally I'm not interested in drab boring females. We're a bit more evolved than birds, well some of us are anyway. Birds are the remnants of the dinosaurs, like some posters on this thread

NBLondon

This is a bit hypothetical since I've been partnered for 21 years at the end of this month and never tried online dating but...


1. Asker should be prepared to pay. Even if it's online, one or other would have been first to say "Shall we meet up". If Askee doesn't offer to contribute, accept it but you might factor it into deciding if you want a second date.


2. If Askee offers to pay their share, Asker can accept or decline. Which decision should be accepted politely. "OK, but my turn next" is fine if you are considering a next time and should then be accepted in turn.


3. If the second date doesn't happen - then Asker has possibly lost out - but that's the risk you take.


4. If original Askee doesn't offer to contribute on the second date, warning sign. Especially if they made the suggestion of the second date.


5. If either side finds themselves insisting they pay - this isn't going to go long term.


6. If there's a major discrepancy in disposable income - you adjust the activity to match.

ripplyuk

zagfles wrote: »

"Spread his plumage" :rotfl:Birds might do that, the brighly coloured male putting on an elaborate display for the drab boring female, but personally I'm not interested in drab boring females. We're a bit more evolved than birds, well some of us are anyway. Birds are the remnants of the dinosaurs, like some posters on this thread

We might be more evolved, but those instincts are still there. I think it's natural for a man to want to display his ability to provide, to a potential partner. Paying on the first few dates is one way to do that.

When I was dating, the only time I insisted on paying my half was when I really didn't like the guy, and knew I'd never go out with him again.