When you don`t want to spoil a dedicated thread

Percybridge

Pollycat wrote: »

I can't understand why this thread was started.

It was started by someone trying to take a swipe at another. It quite clearly misfired and they now have egg on their face.

missbiggles1

Newly_retired wrote: »

Well I assumed it was for non-bereavement problems, eg illness, loneliness, whatever, rather than have them dilute the widows' thread.
I too have got the impression that anyone who is not a widow was not really welcome, however well intentioned, in Kittie's original thread.

On here, I shall dare to say that , whilst I have every sympathy for those recently bereaved, I know a number of widows who really are getting on with it and coping marvellously. But to refer to what they get up to, as a means of encouragement that there is life after death, if I can put it that way, would be sure to cause offence there, I have no doubt.
Also I have gently tried to make the point that widows are not the only people who feel lonely, or have taken a severe battering in life. Such thoughts were not welcomed.
Ok I appreciate that that thread had a specific intention, and is greatly needed. But nobody is perfect.
I say this with feeling: life is already too hurtful. Let us try to avoid making matters worse.

Even if you are a widow, you have to be the right sort of widow to fit into Kittie's thread and to do the right sort of grieving as well. That means listing all the humdrum details of your life, whether anybody else reads them or not, and feeling embarrassed to write if you're trying to make your life more bearable by doing anything at all pleasurable.

Personally, I thought this thread was aimed at me but that could just be me being neurotic.:)

moneyistooshorttomention

Could be worse MissBiggles - and could be a "permanent fixture" type signature on someone's posts that are clearly aimed at someone else. Yep...there are "people" who do that...:eek::rotfl:

Percybridge

missbiggles1 wrote: »

Even if you are a widow, you have to be the right sort of widow to fit into Kittie's thread and to do the right sort of grieving as well. That means listing all the humdrum details of your life, whether anybody else reads them or not, and feeling embarrassed to write if you're trying to make your life more bearable by doing anything at all pleasurable.

Personally, I thought this thread was aimed at me but that could just be me being neurotic.:)

Very well said miss Biggles.
I didn't think it was aimed at you I have to confess. But reading some of the posts makes me think I may be wrong.

No target of nastiness on that thread has in any way asked for or deserved it.

mumps

missbiggles1 wrote: »

Personally, I thought this thread was aimed at me but that could just be me being neurotic.:)

A few of us are possibles by the look of it.

Pollycat

Percybridge wrote: »

It was started by someone trying to take a swipe at another. It quite clearly misfired and they now have egg on their face.

I think the key thing to remember is even if you start a thread it doesn't actually belong to you.

I really do feel like I've stumbled into a parallel world here - possibly Diagon Alley (I've been watching Harry Potter ).

I usually have a brief look at the over 50s board (I am over 50 so I guess that's allowed :cool:) and here is this very bemusing thread.

I'm not sure why one would need to be told that here is a thread 'in case you want to let it all out' and 'get it off your chest'.

suki1964

moneyistooshorttomention wrote: »

Personally - I've not seen any deliberately nasty comments on this sub-forum. I have seen comments that, to my mind, have been misinterpreted and it looks to me as if it's down to people being (understandably) upset in their context of their own lives. Accordingly, they've taken them wrongly.

If anyone thinks any of the comments on this sub-forum have been bullying - they clearly haven't been reading the Old Style sub-forum. Some of the comments made on there sometimes quite definitely are meant to be nasty and it's no wonder they're upsetting to those on the receiving end of them (until you learn to "put on an extra couple of layers of thick skin" before reading and remember that it is a largely female sub-forum and I guess that explains it imo - as it does appear that women can be a lot worse than men at making such remarks).

I would say that one and the Benefits sub-forum are the ones that experience this frequently. The Relationships sub-forum does occasionally.

But - nope...not on this one. Not that I've noticed anyway...

Oldstylers nasty?

Never in a million years !!!!

It's the most supportive board on here

I've been posting there since 2005 and other then a bit of ribbing of a poster who comes and asks the most off the wall questions under his various ae's , there's nothing else that could even by the biggest stretch of the imagination be classed as nasty

Perhaps you mean marriage and relationships? That can get a bit scarey at times ?

lessonlearned

Good morning everyone.

Well my reading was .........

That this is an alternative thread to stop the bereavement thread from meandering too far off topic and where people could generally chit chat, or let off steam.

The original does have a lot of very good advice, both for the practical matters that have to be attended to and for emotional support to the newly bereaved, but it is getting clogged up with non bereavement stuff because over time it has rather veered off topic now and again.

I may be mistaken of course but that was my understanding of why kitty suggested a new thread.

Anyway.....Talking of letting it out.....

My dads condition has nosedived and he is now off all meds - just pain relief. I guess this is it. He's still conscious. Just going to get myself Organised and go back over to the hospital.

I think I have a chest infection. Feeling ghastly.

moneyistooshorttomention

Take care of yourself LessonLearned. Thinking of you.

moneyistooshorttomention

Just checked out definition of "ribbing". Equals = good-natured teasing.

Yep...there's plenty of good-natured teasing. Most posters are fine. It's just the odd few on the more "general" threads that every so often come up with a nasty comment - but, when they do, yep...they are nasty.